take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
12:18 AM
Yes..him again..happy..=)..haih..HOPELESS!!
Today went to t.s again…was awoke by yeez to ask to go..was damm sleepy and no energy..anyway we went..i tie my hair up today cause my hair quite long already and is getting out of shape..i don’t want to look messy..so decided to tie it up until I get it cut..maybe next week,mom haven’t give me my hair-cut money yet,without it I can’t get my hair cut..anyway was hoping he will be there although I know the chances are not high since today is a monday and school day somemore..but surprisingly he turn up..in the afternoon..can see he just “stole out” from his house for a while only..at least he nvr skip school..well I was quite surprise myself also..i didn’t saw him coming cause I was sitting in some corner replying nad’s msg..when I went back to the ID side only I saw him..was really surprise..that he appear..was happy to see him..haih..at this time..that fat ass guy who is damm shit up ask him to battle for him..he shouldn’t help that fat ass guy lah…haih…but knowing him got free round surely want lah..so the opponent ask ah loong to battle..then later ah loong and yeez disappear after the match cause scared the fat ass guy make noise there..i wasn’t there at this time..went to the corner to reply msg again..so went I came back found both of them missing..so alone loh..with ckin.talk to her loh..and when I was looking for yeez and loong the time..went to the version 3 machine side,he also was moving around on the opposite side to version 3 machine..so kinda saw him cause I was also moving to the version 3 machine side..haih..i really got the strong urge to go over the other side so to get a better look at him..but I tried damm hard to hold it..don’t want to make it so obvious mah..but later when yeez and loong came back already..he came over and stand next to me…haih..got so many place to stand,y must he stand there..haih…but me happy also lah..how long he never did that already…and later he battle the time..i was standing beside him also…haih..i’m not even concentrating on the battle but him..but try to make it look as if I’m interesested on the battle lah..not so obvious mah..caught him peeking at me also today from the corner of my eyes lah..back to old times..haih..and when he want to go soul caliber that side..he can go the other way one,nearer and faster but purposely want to take this way where he have to pass by us…longer way somemore…is it because i’m standing this side?want to purposely walk here to see me izzit?haih….hopeless lah me…but I’m happy lah..at least I still can see some of these signs…I know..i’m damm hopeless..he’s really my mood enhancer lah..see him only..my whole face light up already..and mood damm good today after what he did today..play soul caliber also not that shit already..ID also..although he came only for a short while..maybe less than 30 mins but still it’s enough already to change my entire mood….haih..i wonder whether he like me with my hair tie up or not?haih..why do I bother..hopeless..i dunno..i really think that it’s like a miracle that he turn up today which he won’t normally do although it’s only a short while..while I was hoping so hard that he will..sometime I really think god really answer my prayer…it’s like a gift..that he turn up and I get to see the all those signs all over again…haih..i know i’m may just giving myself false hope..but still…..i was so damm depressed n sad before this…but now at least after seeing him today..better already..but as human we are always not satisfied with what with have...I know I should be satisfied already after getting to see him today,should not ask for more..but the more I see him..the more I want to see him..missing him already..hope to get to see him longer next time..and that he act like today..at least don’t totally ignore me like on last wed and thurs..haih..i know..i should be satisified to at least get the chance to see him already..but I’m also a human…hope to have a good dream tonight..damm lah..i’m damm hopeless lah…but I just realize that my mood can really depends on him..haih…what to do right if you still like people?haih….damm it lah…cannot control my feelings lah..it’s not easy after controlling it for how many months…more that 3 months already lah…haih..don’t even know how after my honors program start..hope I can control lah..or suppress it..it’s not good for my emotional health lah…I think I may become insane one day sooner or later…haih..i know lah..but I can’t help it lah….
我对你的思念比任何东西还强
可能人家会笑我傻
笑我笨
笑我蠢
对你依然那么的固执
我就是对你那么的坚持
那么的固执
因为我对你的感情依旧不变
我真的好后悔
好后悔...
没好好的珍惜你
I took you for granted...
后悔末及了..
可是一切已太迟了
已无法再挽回了..
太迟了呀...
你可不可再给我多一次机会
来补偿我的过错?
求求你...
只要一次..
那么一次..
我不会再犯同样的错..
让我再有一次机会好好的珍惜你,好吗?
太迟了...
真的已太迟了...
不可能再有那么一次机会了..
真的就不能赐我那么一次机会重新来过吗?
好后悔..
真的好后悔....
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, April 24, 2005
12:23 AM
现实?幻觉?
现实和幻觉只是一线之差....
现实...
或
幻觉?
我已搞不清了...
真的好累...
已分不出来了..
那一线之差..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, April 23, 2005
12:19 AM
psycho
i'm surprised i'm not yet a psycho by living like this...strange...I'm not insane.......but I'm going soon.....
you you you you you i hate you you you you you you i love you you you you you fuck you you you you you you are shit up you you you you you damm you you you you you you you you you fucker you you you you you you you you you you you you you you are an idiot you you you you you you you but i still care for you you you you you still have the feelings for you you you you you you you you you you you messed up my life you you you you you you you you you you you you you but somehow I'm glad to have you enter my life you you you although you messed it up you you you you you you you you you you you you you so stupid me you you I'm just a stupid girl you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you invaded my mind you you you you you you you you invaded my dreams you you you you you you you you you you you how come you seems to possessed me like a ghost you you you possessed my soul you you you even possessed my heart you you you you you you are someone who I will always care
and will always love hahahaha you you you all about you!!!!!!!fuck you!
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck arggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt
pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
argggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, April 22, 2005
11:40 PM
Why izzit always bout him???
ARGGGGGGGGgghhhhhhhhhh....i really dunno what's wrong with me.........I'm having a really bad day.....today went to ts......and it seems that everything doesn't go my way...instead everything seems to be going the wrong way for me........i dunno.I really dunno anymore..izzit because of him?never get to see him?I haven't been sleeping well the past few days..I dunno why I keep thinking bout him.........I can no longer supressed the thoughts..the feelings.......it's really limit already...I cannot tahan anymore......I really cannot.......cannot supressed already.....damm sad................pain...............I dunno why...I really don't...I have been managing through all this while but I was just pretending...I can no longer do that....it's limit already.....damm man......all this while I've been supressing it..now it all came out in one shot........it doesn't really feel good.......I cannot control my feelings...my tears....fuck lah......today also......damm emotional....damm frusfrating.....I play soul calibur like shit today......i dunno why.what's the point of getting "close" to him in a way by playing that?what's the point?ID also cannot...soul calibur also cannot....no matter how hard I try..also cannot be like him...at least below him a bit also nvd..but it's so far away..the level...don't say ID..soul calibur also same...no matter how hard I work on it...I still can't seems to catch up...bet he doesn't even know or care..do you know I work so hard in both game just for you in a way?no...you dunno..and you probably don't even care....I don't even know that do u still feel the same way as I do?I can no longer read your signs..your nonverbal cues..or whatever u want to call it...it really hurts me that I can do so anymore....really scared that you no longer feel the same way.....maybe I'm too messed up to see any of that anymore...i mean you have to be calm and rational to see all of that..but currently I'm not even thinking straight anymore....it's the holidays!!!!!!I need work to distract me...if not you will appear in my mind....more and more often...till I can no longer think...can no longer tahan...I dunno...I feel like screaming...........shouting........crying...............whatever...haven't I been doing that all along?hahahaaaaaaa...............I really dunno....you think I dunno all those fucking advice bout not living in the past..how many times I've done self-advising..self counseling or whatever shit u want to call it......but it doesn't fucking work..k?try how many times to start anew without him..but it doesn't work for me.....really..I know..it's my life..everyone is different..and you think I dunno the bloody advice on what if you really love a person,it's enough if that person is happy although that person is not a part of ur life...anyway...I don't think he's happy either...can feel it...hahahha..what the fuck am I talking about?I don't even know anymore.....all I know is that I'm really fucked up...I really care for him...good also he didn't come today..at least go to school...and is that bloody unknown number from him again?i dunno..what am i hoping for?really hope it's from him...arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............................i'm dying...can I just die?hahahhaha..........it's a torture to live like that...hahahahha...feel like just doing it...but I know I can't......that's the torturing part...you can't die but you want to..hhahaha..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, April 21, 2005
11:59 PM
Him again...
Finally exams over...can go out already...yeah!!went to ts yesterday and today..not suppose to go today but went anyhow...yes..saw him..after so long...happy lah get to see him..yesterday..he was in ts also haih..never go to school again..although i know today is a public holiday but still the day before got school mah...always like that where can?at least also study a bit mah?don't like to study also at least study a bit better than nothing..important year leh..how to pass like that?how to get a job?a good future?haih...i really dunno..dunno why i care somemore...but at least i get to see him yesterday..his hair was gel..dress up all..but no wooly shirt....but nice also lah..i dunno lah..the miscall in the morning is it from him..what am i hoping for anyway?he's trying to avoid me...can see through his actions...when i come back from toilet and went to take my file..he see me,then straight away want to leave to go to soul calibur there..b4 that still saw him talking to his fren but once i'm there then want to leave already..every single time..i go one side..then he will try to go the other side or other place...haih...what is wrong now?actually me also...too long never see already..i dunno what to do..want to see him..but at the same time don't want..don't know what to do when see him..maybe he also..dunno lah...today also whole day like avoiding me...or ignoring me...talk to the whole world but me...i really want to talk to him..joke or play a fool or whatsoever..but u think i nvr try izzit?u treat me like that how the hell u want me to talk to u?u rather talk to yeez than me lah ok?or tell her stuff than me lah..fuck u lah!!izzit because of holiday..no more things on my mind..that's why i always think bout u?i'm damm hopeless...depressed...haih..but think about it...maybe because there's too many ppl already that's y kena ignored..he always act like that when there's a lot of people..damm idiot one lah..dunno why yesterday and today got a lot of ppl...he nvr really dress up today..just white/gray shirt and shorts..never gel hair also...but ok also..haih..y the hell i bother anyway?i dunno lah...really dunno what i want...cannot control anymore...it's really hard to control...too much already..how to supressed it?exam time i managed to do it...lucky although he keep appearing in my mind n dream..fuck lah...at least i get through it...i cannot afford to do it if i start my honors program...maybe can lah..somehow i've been doing it the whole sem and i still did my work..i still study..but........haih..feel damm sad....really need drinking now..now worse..nothing to do anymore since exams over..nothing to worry since i've already decide to change to the honors program.(that day bro call and he also encourage me to take..kinda miss him..will think bout him when i see a bro and a younger sis together so close and nice,even saw a fellow that got his "style".r..really make me miss him..)..so nothing to think bout anymore..so free..that's why now he keep invading my mind...my dreams..fuck lah..i just realise that holiday is worse..at least if still got college not that bad..got studying and work to keep me distracted..now?nothing already....missing that idiot so fast again..damm hopeless lah me...going 2morow also...hoping to at least get a glimpse of him..hopeless..damm hopeless me...
p.s.don't really have the mood now..will bitched about my exams the next time..but overall it went ok
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, April 16, 2005
11:03 PM
Him
fuck lah...yesterday night had a really damm sad dream about him..really sad..brought tears to my eyes..damm..!.couldn't really sleep well the whole night...depressing...the whole day was depressing also..is it because of the dream?can't get him off my mind the whole day...and feel damm sad and depressing the whole day....keep looking back at those msgs..fucklah..exam time somemore...why is this happening to me?it was ok before this....i don't understand..is it because too long never get to see him already?haih...it's been three weeks since I last saw him...cause never go on saturdays already..that's why and he didn't appear on weekdays either...good also lah, at least never skip school that much...what is he doing?busy studying? trial exams already?got study or not?haih...seelah...damn it!why do i fucking care?I should be studying...studying!!studying!!and here am i blogging...can't concentrate...dei...before this honors program now him...it must be the dream....fuck lah..I don't want to do badly in my exams..!!but i seriously gonna be fucked up if I don't get back to studying....fucked up man!!damm..damm..damm...damm!!damm...damm it..sad..sad...sad..pain....sad...sad...is there anyway to be feelingless??i seriously need that now...damm tired already..tiring...how long more can i live like this?i don't think i no longer can.......i dunno...hahahahaha...i really dunno..really hope to see him now..even a glimpse is enough..i know i damm hopeless...stupid..stupid me...fucking stupid me...fucklah...hope i don't get another sad dream bout him again...normal can lah..at least i get to see him..haih...got a feeling it will be another sleepless night again..fucklah!better get back to studying again...more like wetting my book..?hahahhaha.......i'm really an idiot...stupid me........fucking stupid me...
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
2:11 AM
Zombie alert!!
Monday,April 11-P.J
People have been reporting strange sightings around P.J andK.L lately. Sightings of a zombie has been reported lately around this two areas and this zombie is seen roaming the areas mentioned above in broad daylight. This is extremely weird as zombies usually appear during twilight hours but according to the experts in the Centre for Undead Creatures, this may be a sign of the changing lifestyle pattern for the zombies in the future. According to Dr. Zom, the sudden changing sleeping pattern for the zombies are most probably due to the lack of blood supplies to the vampires who started preying on zombies instead. "This will continue to be a serious problem as more and more zombies will rather come out hunting for food during the day instead of night due to the vampires," Dr. Zom says. Currently, two people have been sent to the hospital for air poisoning as they went too near the zombie sighted above to take a picture. The air pollution problem will worsen and people have also been complaing lately about smelling a weird smelly stench around the two areas mentioned above that is believe to be the body odour and bad breath of the zombie. Dr Zom urge the people to donate more blood to the hospital for the vampires so that the zombies can get back to their regular lifestyle. Dr.Bie on the other hand disagree with Dr. Zom as he believe that the zombie sighted above is actually human but had turn into a zombie due to exam and other stress. According to Dr. Bie, the cure is to eliminate the stress of the zombie which who be a longer way. The fastest way according to him is to just kill the zombie sighted above. The public however are advise to wear masks and carry a can of perfume(preferably an oxgen tank) when they are visiting those areas mention above. The public are also asked to called the Zombie Department, Centre for Undead Creatures if they spot the mentioned zombie above.
The characteristics of the zombie sighted:
Female Appear to be in her teensPale faceDead lookBig pimples Dark circlesshuffling slowlyLike to stare off in the spacetalk to herself all of suddensmile/laugh for no reason all of sudden
p.s.if anyone have any more info of this zombie,plz contact 999999999 - Zombie Department.
People are advise not to:
Poke or probe her (in any case)-may cause irritationPinch-may cause her to bite youhave direct contact with it-may cause itchiness to skinsmell it-air poisoningtake picture of her-may evoke anger
p.s.if not it will land you in the hospital with one of the following:
10 stitches long scars brain damagezombie blues(having zombie-like symptoms)skin diseaseair poisoningcomadeath!!
Once again, the public are urged to be careful and be alert of any signs of suspicious zombie-like activities!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
You
With so many things on my mind..
So many things to decide..
yet so little time..
So many things to do..
yet so little time..
So emotionally..
and physically drained...
I never thought...
that I even have the capability..
to think about you..
Once again..
I was wrong..
Hahahahah....
Laughing at myself...
for being so stupid...
I was always wrong..
always...
when it comes to you...
don't you know..??
I really hate you..
yet at the same time..
it's so ironic...
because I can't really hate you..
Once again...
you invade my mind..
Dreams...
twice...thrice..hundred..thousand.??
how many times..
I lost count...
what on earth you did to me??
what the fuck you did to me??
Just because..
I did not get a glimpse of you..
for the past few weeks??
Looking at the screen..
that number....
Is that from you?
Again and again...
I really wonder....
why are you doing this?
I'm beginning to see you..
in a different light...
that I've never seen..
I'm beginning to think...
from a different light..
that I've never though of..
maybe it's the right choice...
maybe it's better if i don't get to see you..
is that really so?
or am I just lying to myself??
hahahahhaa...
I'm doing this to myself...
But...
I know what I should do..
I know what am I doing..
It's just really really ironic..
that I still want to do it...
to torture myself?
it's just me....
when will I stop?
stop..
thinking..
dreaming..
missing..
being hopeless...
when..??
all i can answer you..
is that...
I will stop thinking..
stop dreaming..
stop missing..
stop being hopeless..
All will stop..
when I stop being myself..
cause it had already become..
me..........
a part of me...
that i can never let go..
can never forget....
how can you forget yourself?
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Pimples plantation
STresssss..!Stresss..!!with the work....exams....and now the honors degree program??still considering should i change or not??there are pros and cons for changing..but if i really want to go overseas ..then better stay in adp..but if not.......haih.......honors leh........pros and cons.....should i ?or shouldn't i?do i want to?or do i not want to?dei....confuse dah.....but at least i felt better than before..after the briefing and talking with my parents about it.....at least find out more already..and now i know walau...really hard to go into masters for psych dei..top 10% only dei...results like that can get in ah??well..i can always do masters in some other field anyway...mass comm??mba??(surely can according to my sources)..computer??what else??but if better of course want lah to do masters in psych lah...it's too early to say anyway...back to this honors program...dei...it's really all up to me...it's my future...and i don't want to make any mistakes..or have any regrets.........arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fuck it lah!!!!!!if only i'm rich...........???dei.....!!
no time to study for exams also...no mood anyway....work all last minute..beginning to see signs of turning into a zombie already..i look dead everyday...turning into the undead soon..it's juts a matter of time..anyway i always look like a zombie during exam time but this time is the worse of the worse...even nad say the pimples this time really bad one..big and a lot...yikeess!pimples plantation dei!a good harvest....it's everywhere..and i'm obssessed with washing my face with dunno how many types of facial foam and apllying dunno how many facial cream..etc...but it's still there....in fact the pimples plantation is blooming?!!Pimples for sales.....care to buy one??it's for the cause of charity.....lol...hahahaha..=)
© Enigma
1 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, April 08, 2005
7:08 PM
ARghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ARGGGGGggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................mess up........confused...what the hell i want??I dunno....!!!Which one should i choose??i don't want to regret!!!!!!!!my future..??!fuck lah..why must they have this at this time...........my exams coming dei and work not done!!!!!!!!!!!I dunno!!I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh...........................feel like just fucking everything and go to that island right now....!!!!I don't give a DAMmm!!
© Enigma
3 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
10:17 PM
Weird day..
Had a really weird day yesterday...went to t.s again..but he's not there(good also..hope he at least did some studying..haih..if not how to pass?how to find job?but i doubt he will study anyway..just hope he realize the importance of it..)anyway..a lot of weird things happened yesterday..oh..mr.H was there yesterday..some ppl happy lah..talk a lot to ppl somemore..and first time mr.H kacau me when I'm driving..weird!(one of the weird thing)..then i got asked to join a RNO club??(sorry if i got it wrong) yesterday also..(consider another weird thing,kinda..i nvr expected it..)anyway..it's something to do with drawing and creating anime character..if you are lucky..you may even get to sell ur artwork and bla bla...the have different division u can go to..art,programming..etc(where u turn the drawings into anime character through computer)..anyway..i got ask to join..I'm really interested since it's also one of my interest..(p.s. yeez i will do it for free also even if no money is involved..it's also my interest..don't say until I'm really money-face like that!)but I don't think I can get to do it..my drawings aren't that nice either..and I don't really know how to create anime character from scratch..i mostly just draw/copy/imitate whatever you want to call it..from the anime and manga..I'm not that creative dei..don't know how to draw from scratch and it's not that nice either..no confidence to do it..i need something as a guideline(a sample kinda thing) only I can draw..so I don't think I can do it..but I really interested in joining(if only it's drawing from other pics..*sigh* or if I know how to do the programming stuff..interested in learning also..i always wanted to learn more about comp programming stuff anyway-always dream that one day I can create my own program or game*dream on!*)I really want to join..it's a really good opportunity but I know I can't do it..it's just so sad that I have to let such a chance get away..*sigh*..what to do?my drawing skills aren't that good yet...i doubt that it will ever be..
Another weird thing is that i "kena" from this i suspect drunken black man(got strong alcohol smell) from canada..idiot yeez..if I wasn't the one sitting there in the monorail..i wouldn't kena..weird lah this guy..say his father is an ambasador somemore..ask for direction first then later say want to make friends with me..ask phone number somemore..but of course this time I'm smart..hah!not like mr.G last time..(got experience d)so i say why not you give me ur number..i'll contact you..i lied that i don't have a hp..=)..talk a lot of things somemore..keep asking me to remember to call him..=@...(well,at least it help boost my self esteem although probably he's just too drunk or high or whatever to see that I'm actually very ugly)anwyay..it make me think back bout last time when "he" ask for my no..kinda wished that it was he who is sitting beside me not this drunkard weird man..*sigh*..if only it was him..hopeless..hopeless..I shouldn't be having these thoughts anyway..it's over anyway..
oh did i mention (another weird thing)..there's this old fat man sitting beside me at the monorail at first..and then we this fat man get up to leave..he patted my leg(near the knees part)a few times then he left..wtf??!!I don't even know this fat man??!why the hell did he do that??dei!something's really weird happening here..then later came that drunkard..(weird lah!)maybe it's too late already..I realize you can find a lot of weird ppl at night..dangerous dei!or izzit just a weird day??!
Oh ya..another weird thing..maybe not so weird..it's normal?i fell down like a "humpty-dumpty" from a chair..don't ask how I fall..it's really embarassing..humilating..twice somemore..ppl stand there and laugh somemore..it's really funny..i'm really clumsy..I am a clumy person anyway..*ouch*..I hurt my waist bone..more precisely the place between my ass and my waist..hit the floor hard..pain..it still hurt today whenever i move..mom scolded me for being so clumsy..(she say i always having minor "accidents" and that what if I have internal injuries..like what happen to my leg..nag like hell,so old already still dunno how to take care of myself..bla..bla..but I'm like that...too clumsy already..it's my neurotic-ness lah that causes me to be clumsy and my neurotic-ness is cause by my sickness which in turn is indirectly cause by my dad as he passes it down to me..so he is to be blame in the end!!hahahahahaha!<------mad d,not making any sense. the pain become worse..just now sweep and mop the floor the time..bend down too much already..then I think make it hurt more..and my parents got the cheek to finished their dinner quickly and leave all the dishes for me to wash..back pain already..somemore want me to stand so long..i know I'm complaining here..but I really feel like a maid that moment..actually I am lah..since bro not here already..no difference also if he's here,I will end up being the maid also..sometimes being the youngest have no advantage!!you are under everyone's "command"!!who say youngest is the one who are over-pampared?more like over-labouring!!
© Enigma
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Monday, April 04, 2005
1:13 AM
Bloody hands
I look out of the car..
I wave at you..
with my bleeding hands..
you just smile at me..
Slowly..
the distance between you and me widen..
Further and further..
I went..
Smaller and smaller..
You became..
Only a small dot in sight..
Painful and painful..
It became..
My whole arms are a pool of red..
But..
Fainter and fainter..
You still went..
As my vision became blurred...
Blinded by big shiny pearls..
Leaving only a fuzzy shadow of you..
I never did stop waving..
Even through the agonizing pain..
But you never did come chasing after the car..
You just stood there..
All you gave me is a smile..
A smile with hidden tears..
Hidden pain...
A smile that..
tries to conceal the blood..
that too can be found on your arms..
that didn't want me to know..
But I know..
I want to stop..
so that I can run over to you..
to hug you tight..
to cradle your bleeding arm..
Till it stop bleeding..
I want to stop..
so that you can run over to me.
to hug me tight..
to cradle my bleeding arm..
Till it stop bleeding..
I want to stop..
so we can hug each other tight
and cradle each other's arm..
Till it stop bleeding..
But the car just kept on moving..
No matter how hard I stepped on the brakes..
It wouldn't stop..
I couldn't stop..
You wouldn't chase...
We could only look silently into each other's eyes..
As we drift further and further apart..
With an understanding look in our eyes..
Knowing that there's nothing left to be done..
We can only watch silently with hurtful looks
as the gap between us widen..
I still kept on waving with my bloody hands..
Not wanting to let you go..
Even though you were only a small fuzzy dot..
I wave on and on....
non-stop.....
with my bloody hands....
I never want to let you go..
But...
will you.....
let me hold your bloody hands into mine?
Will you....?
will you let me heal your bloody hands?
let me...
hold your bloody hands...
© Enigma
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Poll
poll added..ppl plz vote if possible...there's also a few changes here and there..u may notice the buttons are different now..
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, April 03, 2005
12:00 AM
Harry Potter..
16th July 2005....this is the cover for the books..
Children's edition (except In U.S)
Adult's edition
Anyway..want more info about harry potter?here are some sites to visit:-
J.K. Rowling Official SiteBloomsburyMuggleNetThe Harry Potter Automatic News AggregatorThe Harry Potter LexiconGodric's HollowImmeritus
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, April 02, 2005
6:54 PM
Nothing much..
nothing much to say..still busy with work..but i just feel like posting something here...
oh..did i mention our human comm interview went well..the cd burn out already..edited by ah bin all..added music and stuff..really nice..i'm waiting to get a copy of it soon..just like a real video kind of thing...i like the starting part where it shows shots of us in the badminton court..just hope the fish like it..the journal also quite nice..a lot of pics...and plus my drawings..hehe...
hmm..what else to say?don't feel like doing work..dei!that day met shanthini at 1u..she look different already..so long never see her already..we say next time must go yam cha with pei yie together..anyway that day see pei yie also got a different feeling..she seems more independent already..hahahaha..and my relationship with "my woman" seems to be kinda fine already..but still it's different..what else to say?bored..have to stay at home...cannot go..anyway yeez also busy...she got car already..so nice..went driving around twice already...i tried to drive her car..but like a tortoise...cause not use to it and the seats and mirror cannot adjust..leg so far away..got phobia lah..like cannot reach like that..I like my seat to be damm near one although my legs area long..my mom also like that lah...but the steering wheel damm light..power steering wheel leh..jangan main-main tau?can turn with one hand..nice=)
bored...bored...game all play until bored already...finally finish playing gangsters2 yesterday after so long never touch it cause was bored of it for quite some time..no money to buy new games,bro not here..no new game to play...haih..didn't go today...no mood also anyway....*sigh*...him?...do work lah....
© Enigma
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