take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
7:09 PM
HUH??
gb is down for upgrading???oh noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!have to download again???oh man.........server is down somemore now......no gb at home for a long time already...haveto download??????dunno cafe got update or not.........???????if not then cannot play??????????????????????????????????????lucky nvr go cafe also today....phew!!
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work
everything i pretty fine nowadays...work was fine yesterday...got to know more bout christina..since we chatted after the class and all...mostly about my course though..and she study form 6 in tmn sea???hahaha..but she say she will nvr tell pp she's from the school..before that she's from dj..she will always tell ppl she's fr dj..she say tmn sea got lots of discipline prob..hahah..i told her now better already..funny dei..a really nice person too.....she even inisist on dropping me home....i keep saying no need..damn near..but she inisisted..dei..anyway i'm not going to see her for a while already..she don't teach on weekdays when i work...a really nice person...keep thanking me for what i do..it's my job what..no need to thank me lah...oh..gotten to know an auntie also who came up looking for my boss and peggy who use to work there..she's also teaching...she sat down and we talk for a while..i'm alone anyway..exchange numbers..she's looking for ppl to work also...to teach maybe..so i offered and say if any of my friends interested,i'll call her..so we chatted a while loh then she left..a nice auntie..but seems too anxious..or should i say neurotic..?she was like nearly out of breath when she came up..i ask her to sit down and rest..and the way she talk like so anxious..cool..calm..like me lah..neurotic..hahahhaha...after that she shook my hands and call me a good girl????!!huh???weird..a good girl???!!!umm..i never heard anyone say that word to me anymore since i was like a small kid??so i was kinda feeling weird when she say that..hmmm..but it's nice to hear that..hahahahaz...well..nothing much to do at work overall..gooten myself to try to wrap a book..=/...i'm bad at wrapping..i'mtaking a break from arranging the library books..it can say it look 50% neater already..still got 50% more..well..i have plenty of time to come..pick up phone calls..damn..at first my voice shook..embarassing sial..dei!got to mix around with the kids..well the usual stuff....nothing much..overpaid sial..but was tired cause last night play gb again..heh..
i'k so damn addicted to gunbound now..dead leh..everyday came back from college then sleep sleep..tired..lucky nothing much yet at college..not much work yet..wait till it comes..omg!!i'll die??got one dueing on thurs..oh well...
nvr get to cafe again today..was too tired,fell asleep..anyway it's raining...nad is catching a fever from hans also...she felt weak today and look pale..at least no classes 2morow..she can rest..hope she get better..today went to class for nothing..it's a tutorial and ms.w came up to us in the class and told us that we can leave cause she's talking bout the apa format..and yesterday 6 adp students were bored out of their mind having to sit and listen for one and the half hour..dei..scared us dei..when she came up to us..thought she want to scold us or what??mana tau..??me and nad is becoming more and more famous in this new program lah..shitlah..that day lah got prob the time..the admin staff came looking for nad in class and that time was ms.w class..so ms.w already know both of us..call all nad's name in front of the whole class..hahaha..everyone turn and look at her..embarassing sial..then that day the shit up admin staff told nad that they wer talking bout her during lunch..the whole bunch of admin staff??and ms.w was also having lunch with them..surely got mention me lah...i'm sure lah..saying why that small girl always following nad which is likealready a mother with a son??and today ms.w came up to us and tell us..now the whole class surely know nad already..she somemore liek stop talking a while then walk right to our place and tell us..omg..and then later walk righ back in front and announced to the whole class that adp students can leave if they want to..why don't she just announced it in front of the whole class at the first place??somemore want to come up to us purposely...like got special treatment like that??*sigh*....so we left..should have tell us earlier that we don't need to come mah...haih...gb!gb!gb!!!so addicted to it..working towards double metal axe soon..yea!maybe i'm starting ro soon also..not sure though...
© Enigma
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Monday, May 30, 2005
1:01 AM
vegetarian??hahhaha..
well.. a lot have been happening these few days..never update cause was too lazy playing gunbound..heh=)..now level is metal axe already...
school started one week already..not much work yet,but gonna be soon..stressing already..sigh..see the course outline...so much work..and start all over again...learning things that i have already learned..well refresh my memory..taking social psych again??!!and this new lecturer is fucked up..never really give good examples unlike that psycho bitch..and sit down and teach???well..i dunno how the new students are going to manage..read the book probably??i must really thank the pscyho bitch lah...she's a really good lecturer..once again i have to say..dunno say how many times already..lucky we took social last sem...her teaching is really good and examples..well..we have the advantage..lucky take under her..if not under this new lecturer???fucked up sial...i hate this new lecturer for some strange reason..she dunno howto teach lah..and the jokesis not funny...damn!!u want me to take under her??sigh....pity those new students...well that psycho bitch..well call her name lah..all of sudden really like her..let's just call her ms.w ok?in case anyone that knows her happen to read this..she's teaching me anotehr subject anyway...as usual bitchy..but good teaching..haih..
oh..that day really scared me,suddenly told me that nad cannot enter this program cause the idiot fucking lan call up and said international students area not allowed into this program,have to wait one year until lan approved..want to see the results first,see if the standard is suitable for the international students..walau..scary man.ask her to transfer back to adp..nad don't want..she say what for?waste money and time going back to adp..she taken all the subjects needed..she say she rather stay at home one year..but still what she's gonna do at home one year..stay at home and grow fat?boring she say..takkan go out everyday..life will be so bored..
we were so damn sad..nad nearly cry..me too feel like crying..relly beg and really go and see the ppl again and again,got one admin staff somemore really damn shit up..keep asking her to transfer to adp and get it done and over with..don't even give any sympathy..terrible!
was really worried and sad the whole day..if she leave...then i'll be kinda alone..i know i can make new friends and i do have friends there bit still it's different..it's hard to find a close friend..a true friend i mean..where u can share stuff??who won't abandon when u need them most?who care about you..as in really care bout in deep inside the heart but of course won't say it out..hahaha..
we really pray hard that everything is gonna be ok...and turn out it did!our head of department went to the ppl there and fight like hell..go and say they never state in black and white..they only say out through the phone,so the ycan't do this to us..blah..blah..so now ok already..and if the ministry ppl come or whatever to check..will buat bodoh lah..say nvr state in black and white and they wasn't inform..hahahaha..but after approved already then should be okalready lah..i mean max also need 1 year..so now nad can stay!!yeah!!me and and did pray..she say if she can stay,she will donate 100 bucks..me?lol..i say if she can stay i will eat 7 days of vegetarian..so now i really have to eat 7 days of vegetarian..nad say for no reason kena eat vegetarian..and she thank me for praying for her..haven't eat yet..but i wil break it down..like maybe one week eat vegetarian one day..so it will be like 7 weeks..mom will surely think i weird..suddenly eat vegetarian..hahaha...but when we know the news that she can stay,we were really happy..staright a way hug each other...and after that i was so happy..i hug again..hahah..yea..i cry..just now was was tears of sadness,,now was tears of joy i told nad..so funny..so sad the whole day for nothing until got no appetite..haih...but at least it turn out to be ok...i did make friends with the new ppl before that..but haih it's hard to find a true friend as i said...well i'm so lucky to have found her..it's not easy..i'm glad to have her,glad that i found her..i dunno how to say..but it's just not easy to find a good friend..yes..it's easy to find friends..but are they true friends?is that easy to be close??no..not at all..not at all...there are a million people out there that can be your friends..but how many are a REAL friend?how many??see what i mean...?
well anyway..there are more bitches in my class than i thought..sigh...bitches who give me the kind of look..haih..usual lah..so what if i look like a nerd?so what i don't wear like u all do?fuck it lah...ignored me lah.go ahead..they of course don't treat nad like that..hahhaa..cause nad look like them?hahah..but lucky nad is not like them...good..*sigh*..i hate bitches!!!who need them anyway?fuck off lah...go on ignored me and keep on giving that look..i don't give a damn!
oh..went to ts on friday again..a lot of ppl..school holiday already..yeez insisted on goin..i was so tired..play gb and went to her U somemore and later i have to work..i say go there for what..don't even get to play..and i rather play gb now!!and i kinda don't wanna see him...dunno lah..i know he's gonna be there..scared he acted like a wall again..anyway i hardly can keep my eyes open..well,he's there..and he's not a wall again..good..i kind take the iniative to talk to him..asking what happen to his hair..it's the hairstyle lah..not just woke up from sleep..look like electric shock..hahah..funny lah..well everything went well..at least we are on speaking terms again..he teased yeez like hell...hahha..i saw him peeking at me also from the corner of my eyes..haih..back liek old times..at least we are talking to each other now...i somemore went up to him and say bye when we wanted to leave..embarassing sial..his friends around him somemore..he was helping someone battling i think..i took my water bottle and tap his shoulder lightly..he turn and look up at me..i smile and wave goodbye to him..he smile..wave and say goodbye also..haih..at least he return my goodbye..unlike wednesday,he look so shocked and blur...i felt embarassed cause his friends there..but yeez say it was ok the way i say it and all..but still..i went up and say goodbye??do i look stupid?will he think i'm weird?well..anyway i did what i wanted to do..so no regrets...happy that we are finally back on talking terms..although he still rather will talk and tease yeez,but at least now he won't treat me like i'm invisible or something..are all idiots like this?yeez going through the same thing...mr.p treating her like a wall...and rather talk to me?haih..same lah..my x-man tease her..hers tease me..and rather talk to the girls' friend instead of the girl herself...can still be friends right??why wanna be like a wall??better than nothing what...i told yeez they need more time i guess..see now me and my wall are back to talking terms already..how long already...more than 4 months already..see how long it took and how many efforts i took for that..*sigh*..the feelings are still there..haih..whatever lah...
off to gb now..2morow have to wake up early somemore to work..
p.s.i did a double kill in gb yesterday..hahahaha..was lucky..my aiming was damn accurate also..average hit went up...
p.s.got a new pet bro yesterday also...???weird????--_-????well..well.. this pet bro is really funny and annoying at times...like to tease me..hmphH!!bully this little sis..know this fellow from gb..hahhaa..he's gonna sponsered me to play ro..hahahaha...suddenly got one big bro...????weird dei!at home got one big bro already..now got another one..??feel weird...??!!well he say i'm a nice pet sis to have????am i???dei i don't think so lah!!!but i did help him teach an idiot a lesson yesterday...his friend that really annoy him...so well i messed up her mind a bit...at the end of the day,she got a headache..thanks to me!!hahahahhazz...well..psych is really useful ain't it?hahahhahaha.............
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Friday, May 27, 2005
7:49 AM
Sleepy
yawn...was forced to go all the way to here with yeez..have to wait for her to finish class somemore..damm tired..idiot finish class so late...dei...yesterday play gb until damm late...and idiot roach was online..sleep till damm late....arghh!!sleepy.....whatever..tired..fuck it
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
9:31 PM
him..=)
went to ts today after so long..only for a few hours since no class and later go to work..it's a good thing also we went...yeez changing course,so she settled her procedure today..waited for her under the hot sun so long..for her car...in t.s..i go by monorail..she took my monorail card somemore(the monorail card is free one,i picked it up from the floor..dunno who's one..50 bucks leh the value..)..that idiot..driving there and don't need it somemore take it..i have to pay the transport fees myself loh..*sigh*..i was missing him..and he appear...am i lucky or what?he don't usually appear at weekdays and that time somemore....i dunno is it too long never see him already or what..was not really prepared to see him and he just pop out all of sudden like that..i feel so weird...i feel sad..happy..mixed feeling..pain also....i dunno what the hell am i feeling also..my heart was like in a mess lah...but i'm happy to see him ok and all..miss him so much..it was almost a month since i last saw him??his hair look messy today..all stand up..he just awoke from his nap..hahaha..funny lah the hair...like kena electric shock..at first somemore i thought he put gel or what but on closer look it's not..he seems to be in a good mood today..say hi to yeez soemore and all...ask her somemore how come never come so long already..haih..if yeez is not there,he wouldn't wanna talk to me lah..to him,talking to yeez is equivalent to talking to me already..whatever he want to tell both of us,he just tell yeez is enough even though i'm nearer or whatsoever.....still got something izzit?it's so hard to talk to me?anyway he kinda talk to me in a way lah..laughing somemore...he's not being a wall today..i'm really happy..at least he's talking to me..and few times somemore stand close to us...=)..i saw him peeking at me also...i was extremely cheerful also today...dunno why..see him more cheerful also..i feel contented and satisfied with everything somehow..i got my studies..got a nice job..things at home are alos going well..life seems to be fine..and plus today i readlly wanted to see him and he appear...miracle...!and the best is he's not being a wall to me!!i of course take the initiative to talk to him also in a way lah and smile at him also..and when we wanted to leave...i wave goodbye to him also..dei..but he look so blur..wonder will he think that i'm weird or what?hmm..anyway..i never regretted doing that although i was embarassed..(don't even know he knows i' saying goodbye or not..hahaha)..i guess what yeez say is right..do whatever you want to do know if not one day people die already,then there's not even a chance to do whatever u want to do anymore..like mr.h...*sigh*..RIP once again..so from now on, no matter how idiotic or how embarassing i look..i will do whatever i feel like doing..especially when it comes to him..i will msg him myself from now on..don't want to use yeez name and phone anymore...well,if he don't reply nevermind..at least i did what i wanted to do..at least i will not regret it next time..trying to live my life with lesser regrets...i already have a few regrets..i don't want to add more to the list...*sigh*...overall today was a good day..i guess he brighten my day..haih..all it took is him..to brighten up my day...oh ya..today only know that ah loong also play gunbound....damm high level somemore...one of the top players sial...blue dragon u know..but he say his that account cannot log in anymore,have to open a new one....damm man..so sad..but ppl pro player..wanted to ask him to be my pet brother one again..but i dunno how to start lah.!!i never ask before leh..u want me how to ask..i will definitely sounds stupid and idiot...haih..i'm like that...yeez also laugh when i say out the phrase that i wanted to say to ah loong to ask him be my pet brother...dei..going to ask soon lah..sooN!!i wonder how SOON is the SOON??hmmm....will soon..work was fine..my boss not here already..there's another teacher though,christina..very nice and friendly person...get to chat somemore and joke..lol..and today only 4 kids..i know their names already...yeah!!it's the monday class names i don't remember ..got quite a lot of ppl..and so far i only work on one monday only..this is the 2nd wednesday i work..heh=)..2nd week into my job..as usual loh..play and talk with the kids..got one small boy,milford quite cute also..ask me to carry him somemore..hahaha..and was jumping around after class..4 years old..just like hans...i arrange more of the library books again today..look neater now..the two bottom shelf..still a lot more to go..i guess working in popular (a bookshop) helps??hahahhaha.....oh ya,i was supposed to learn how to laminate alos today..christina say she will teach me..but never got the chance....probably next time??still got 2 more days i'm gonna see her anyway..was kinda tired though..probably went to ts?it's worth going anyway..at least he's not a wall anymore..for how long?i dunno...i hope it last..i wanna be friends with him lah..that kind of friends that talk?that ask each other how are you doing once in a while?not that kind of friends who don' talk and was ignored..that is not call friends lah..that is a wall!a good day overall...=)..*sigh*...hope to have sweet dreams?hahahaha...happy..^_^..
p.s..i got my pay today also..=)
p.s.my gunbound now level is double stone axe already..working towards metal axe soon..percentage went up already..51%..win a lot yesterday..average hit also went up..gold quite a lot already also..
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
8:57 PM
can you let me be your silent watcher?
is there no ending to this kind of feeling?to the tears that flows?is there not a way to stop this missing?i miss you..*sigh*..i knew the answer long ago...why am i asking myself again and again...fear...worry...if we are to lose contact...how am i gonna know what's happening to you anymore?even though i'm not part of your life but it's enough for me if i know what's happening in your life...just let me be a silent watcher,sitting there looking at what's going on in your life...i don't hope for anything,all i ask is to watch you from afar..it's enough for me to know that you are doing well..all i ask is a place at the your invisible border,so that i can sit there and watch you..i don't ask for you to let me in through your border..all i ask is to let me hover around your border..it's enough for me..please don't kick me out...i won't disturb you..i'll just hover around your border..it won't cost much..can you let me continue to be your silent watcher?
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Strawberries!!
I'm back from cameron highlands with lots of strawberries..hahaha..bought lots of strawberries since it's famous for strawberries??got lots and llots of strawberries farm there..not to mention lots of vegetables and flowers too...mom bought lots of vegetables back home..the vegetables all damm big and cheap....and the flowers are all big and nice also..come in colours that i never even see before..even those at the roadside are damm nice...got even one type of flowers the colour look like glow in the dark kind of colour...nice..but of course we never buy lah..waste money buying flowers..hahah..see is enough...saw lots of stuff..it's cold there too also...especially at night..like got air-con like that..cold like hell...we stay in a apartment kind of resort..there like 13 of us all packed in an apartment(including 3 children + 1 baby=>my nieces and nephew)..children again!!i'm really seeing a lot of kids these days...hahaha...anyway the palce was nice..and the air is of course fresh and cooling especially in the morning...went to lots of places..dad car even hit a lorry..he was following a lorry and the lorry suddenly brake and dad was like braking already but still it hit the lorry and there's a sharp thing at the back of the lorry..it poke into my dad's car front..the whole thing was like smashed up..really terrible..land the lorry was damm fine and not even a scratch..and that idiot lorry driver just drove off like that...idiot..dunno have to repair how many thousands??lucky the engine was fine..can still manage to get home..oh..ya..on the way up and on the way down to cameron..the road was like small and winding..and dad was driving kinda fast..i was really feeling unwell..got slight headache..and my stomache was like..rolling ??i can't stand winding roads for long hours...lucky it doesn't take more than one hour...if not i think i might vomit??maybe not lah..but i fell sick..carsick??oh man..since when i have carsick?only for long winding roads...i prefer lomg straight roads...lol...and all i see is green..on the way up and also down..and i even saw those orang asli dog's so skinny..must be only eat vegetables,no meat..meat expensive there....the dogs really damm skinny..can see the bones leh..kesian lah the dog..pity the dog..feel like stopping and give the dogs something to eat..
that's all from cameron...i'm getting a bit scared of strawberries now also.. cause all the way there all i see is strawberries.strawberries and strawberries!!!and the when i was "carsick" all i can smell is the strawberries smell..man..imagine the whole 2 hour journey down??maybe less than 2 hour lah but still..all i smell is stawberries...anyway..i give some to ppl already..can't keep it long,it will spoil...today waiting for pei yie to come and take her strawberries..hahaha..gave nad already,she say hans surely very happy..he love strawberries!!and also gave to yeez and xian yesterday already...hope they like it..!
today went to registered my subjects already..no class today..we only know until today that it's a tutorial so depends on the lecturer to have it or not..damm never stay back until the end of orientation that day that's why dunno..so first week no tutorials,only lectures...idiot go there for nothing..at least register the subjects already..this sem must really study like hell sial..my honours depends on my cgpa..dammn..must maintain it that means..and starting must try to get as high as possible..of course who dunno want first class honours?but dream on lah..it's impossible..i can die..and surely that idiot psycho bitch(yes..she's teaching us again) class standard damm high..but really have to admit once again she's a really good lecturer..but surely kena torture like hell..she don't easily give A's unless u r really really good..good until can impress her..3.75-4.00 cgpa..for first class honours..*sob*..bye..bye my first class...lol..but i will of course give my best shot lah..this time will not be as lazy as last time already..must not sleep in class,must study when come home not study last minute...must not do work last minute..tv have to cut down..damn man..all form of entertainment have to cut down..*sigh*..can i do it?i will die man....i'm turning into a real NERD now!!!rosh..u hear this??i'm a NERD!!!NERD!!arghhh!!!sigh..haven't start yet want to stress already..hahaha..nad also lah...funny dei!!
oh ya,i got back my assignments from last sem already..not bad leh!!got quote high marks froms SLOT..both the anaylsis and the lab report..never expect it..=)no wonder lah..the assignments help a lot..and today got back my movie assignment and lab report also from that psycho bitch..my movie assignment happy...she wrote a "good diversity of movies" there..u know how hard to get a praise from her or not?her standard damm high sial...can get means good lah...no one got write leh..maybe only me..hahahaha..want to action sial..get quite high marks also..but lab report..haih..that idiot gave me can consider average lah..but i'm not satisfied...anyway marks is marks..over already..sudahlah!!i'm starting anew!!yeah...!!
hmm..haven't heard from usagi for quite a long time already..wonder how's she?is she ok..no news leh...*sigh*..and to fallen,(if u r reading this)..happy working~!lol..hahahaha..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, May 21, 2005
12:40 AM
Yawn
Currently at nad house doing babysitting...tired..hans is finally asleep,i can online now..just now he choke a while..scared me,lucky nothing serious...he merajuk don't want to sleep..just now,say not tired want to play..but there yawning..lucky i was firm with him..and kinda put it in a serious tone asked him to sleep..sigh..childrens..just have to know when to play with them and when to be firm with them..nad will be back around 3-4 am?can online till then,still have to keep an eye on hans..playing gunbound later,just installed it...the internet connection damm fast sial..broadband leh..in a sec the page all are loaded..check mail also damm fast..walau..wish i can have broadband...save me lot of time...
went for orientation today..was consider ok..got 3 bitches..at least not that bad..others all are ok,not really a lot of ppl..50 maybe?got aboout 20 adp students transferred..was noring the speech..saw 2 old woman in late 30's and 40's maybe?nad there damm funny...lol...and the idiot time table they change it again??!!how could they change last minute??idots!!so have to call up my boss to tell her can only work until 11 on mon..cause now mon got class already..instead i got fri off..taking 2 subjects only..try first.and all the times don't suits..later only take more...idiots change the timetable last minute!!!spoil all my plans..wed also no class i think but i'm working so kinda busy....
oh ya..met li huey on the way back homw..i was rushing home so that i can prepared all my stuff,eat and bathe then have to rush to nad's house..i was so tired,i fell asleep in the lrt and totally missed my station.have to get down at paramount and then take back the right train..and there's where i met her...it's been so long..so chatted and manage to get her hp number..she studying music now..lol..it's been her interest anyway..i was thinking about something to do with drawing??since she loves to draw also...but i think she's more interested in music..??hahhaa...she went so far to study.....weird....anyway was kinda surprised to met her since we haven't met for a long time..wanted o ask her is she still with..??but didn't manage to since time was short and all...
okie..that's all now..goin with family to cameron highlands 2morow..coming back on monday since monday is a public holiday...sigh..wonder's how's he doing?school holidays coming soon..
oh ya,she msg me today again...i was on the way to college...she want to come to my house...haih...cannot stand it..i seems irritated with it..reply msg also short and simple..normally i reply other ppl also won't like that..i think a bit harsh lah..i dunno lah..stop bothering me can??just for a while..you still have other frineds right?sigh...why me?things have change..how you want me to tell you?you also know right that things are different now?it's so hard to tell you stuff now...there's so many things that happen in my life that you dunno...i dunno how to tell you anymore..do u know about him?do u know i change program?do you know what i do in college?do you know i got a part-time job?do you know my other friends?do you even know that i got a blog?see..there's so many things that you dunno...but others know..it's only you i guess..i don't feel like that with other ppl.. i dunno..maybe i'm the bad one?feeling guilty....forgive me..i know i'm the one who did wrong..i really did try to make up with you..i just need more time..i think i need more space..just give me more space?sigh.........
sigh..okie..i'm off to play gunbound now......my aiming is becoming more and more accurate..damm..it's still 48%..it drop and rise..thanx to my idiot team members lah.going to level up soon to double stone axe!!
~*miss you*~
hopeless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, May 19, 2005
5:56 PM
tired
didn't sleep well last night..i feel tired now..just finish work..not much to do again..but i feel slepy..and 2day i woke up with a slight headache..damm...am i sick?no....i can't be sick...i need to work!!and school starting soon.......haih...damm missing one person right now who i know probably doesn't give a damn...wonder how's he doing?i'm just a stupid girl...even think of ways to how to start talking to u back??why doesn't he talk to me nemore??haih...fucker...friends do talk lah u know..?this is what u call friends...??i wonder why??i never think bout him for quite some time already...u call few days quite some time???well it's stil lquite some time..now started..probably been too busy..orientation tommorow...i wonder how will it be??meet new people..etc....i hope this headache will be gone by then...no gunbound for me..server's down for maitainence..nvd..can get to play 2morow at nad's house when i babysit hans...*yawn*..tired...well nothing much..happy to think i earn some money again 2day...and gonna earn some tomorrow too..2morow's job is the best lah..kinda...it's not even consider a job..u can get to watch tv,online...and sleep in a 5 star like hotel room...got playstation somemore.....and hans is not that bad and hard either..well i like him and he likes me too..so shouldn't be a problem..he will be asleep most of the time anyway...well dunno they will provide dinner for me or not??have to ask...if eat there surely good food...well will ask her later...*yawn*..tired...that's all
© Enigma
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
10:37 PM
job again
going to work again 2morow since friday cannot go, got orientation!!...need to familiarize the place..cause the boss not going to be her next week so we are expected to help the teachers out..friday cannot earn money=(..but nevermind..got a even better offer..nad ask me to baby-sit hans at night...just one night...she's going out..i'm staying over her house...RM 40 dei!!and there's nothign much to do cause hans will be asleep when they go out..so i just have to sit in the tv room with the "asleep" hans...and i can watch tv or online...dei!!of course online!!my gunbound!!and nad have broadband!!!yeahhhhhhhh!!!!!i can just download it in a sec..really fast and then can start playing............yeahhhhhhhhhh..i love it!!!!!i just have to wait till they come back..then they will take hans to the room and all...then i can sleep....=)oh man...save a lot of money playing gunbound at nad house.....happy and can earn money also...got nice room to sleep somemore...cannot go for my part-time job..and instead i got this!!gb+money!!!
haih..someone's angry with me cause she planning to go out but then i tell her want to work..thursday and friday somemore...don't lah like that..next time belanja you lorr...i need the money wat..not illegal stuff also can use it to buy books what...surely say i ther bullshit again..haih..whatever lah...
work was fine today..not much...met more kids again...cute lah some...hahahaha...one even talk quite a lot..so cute...learn more stuff again today...hehehe..and i really feel like borrowing some of the books home in the library lah...but cannot lah..only for students there...maybe longer can?hmm..will try ask her when i work longer first...feel like reading the books...who wouldn't?with the temptation in front of you...hahaha...i wonder how's xian doing with her job?how's she doing?lol....i feel taht life is much more meaningful for some strange reason..i feel i use my time wisely...instead of just staying at home and watch tv or go out and waste money...hmmm....i feel happy...and i dunno how to explain..but i feel i live my life more fuller for some strange reason..i even enjoy mopping the floor today??omg..there's must be something wrong with me..last time i work also i don't feel like that..it's not working then..i think it's the children in the centre....somehow it makes u happier to see kids..some are just funny and cute...i think so lah..it makes you happier to see them..hahahha...so young and innocent???hahahha...and those fairy tales in the library make me think of old times..i used to have some of those books...and i remember i love those stories when i was a kid...hahha...sigh..so nice to be a kid...not much worries..anyway..i feel so old all of sudden...damm...grrrr....noooo..oooooo my last year of teens...arghhh...i'm old!!i'm old!!!!!!!lucky i still have my babyface...i used to hate it..now i'm beginning to like it..at least i don't look old...but those pimples!!!arghh!!darn pimples!!!it must be all those stress!!dammit!!pimples plantation!!!?????bro gonna laugh at me if he ever read this...darn!!i bet his face now no pimples already...now my turn..when he was my age..ya..same like me..pimples plantation..ya,i know we are kinda late..or whatever u want to call it..ppl at this age are already long done with their pimples but us??now only start....slow in growth..that's why lah the babyface...he's gonna laugh at me when he come back!!!ahhhhhhh..and his face will be damm nice already......noooooooooooooo...oooo...the humiliation...regret laughing at him!!!ahhh..now my turn!!!!!!!!surely get his revenge..gonna tease me like hell!!!pimples..u better plz be gone by then??i doubt that!!!!
© Enigma
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Job
okie..the job is ok i guess..it's an english language center..so lots of kids..small kids..5,6,7 years old..some of them are really cute....funny too...i enjoy talking to those...but some are pretty quiet..hmmm....and the older kids?those aboe 10++..never really talk much..they doesn't seems to want to talk..sigh..the older u get..the harder to start making friends??lol....well..nothing much to do..just photosatting,typing,recording stuff....etc..the admins stuff...as xian had said..i think she overpaid us...but i like this job..happy to think that i earned RM52 on monday,finally found myself useful...not only know how to use money,at least i know how to earn some..no need to worry for money shortage anymore...finally the days of worrying for money are over...no need to racked my brain up to think of excuses to get money from parents...yes..i know it's bad..but hey..what can you do when you don't have money?and you haven't been getting you allowance for like 2-3 months???(cause of my phone bills..)sigh..anyway..those days are over..just hope this month bill don't go too high cause of my gunbound..(dad is going o ask me use my work money to pay???noooo..oooooooo..i don't want to be broke once again)
talking bout gunbound..my level went up again,now it's stone axe..working towards double stone axe soon..been going to cafe..since i can't really play at home anymore..must think of the bill..damm..my percentage??i'm damm sick of it already..it went up and down..i can't get it back to 50% already..it's at 47% now...play so many times also like that..cause of my idiot teamates lah..keep leaving the game..leave me to battle with 2 ppl or sometimes even 3 ppl..and got one the level quite high but aiming like shit...causing me to lose..dammit..lah..i rather play solo 1vs1..oh..ya..someone gave me some avatar items..now at least my character have some defense already and somethign to wear..hahah..
haih..i'm so addicted to this gunbound...never been to t.s for quite long already..yesterday want to go one but yeez not feeling well,so she went home after we went to" fish station"..so i go to cyber cafe and play gunbound loh..i haven't been thinking much bout him since i started working..quite busy and all..but idiot yeez have to remind me of him...sigh..i wonder how's he doing...thought bout him again yesterday night..sad...missing him...really..i really should stop being like this..darn..but i couldn't...
college starting soon..orientation this friday..wonder if i get to know some nice ppl??well..i know there's 20 ppl from adp is transfer to this program..so there be some old faces..but i'm more interested in the new ones....hope there's more nice ppl than bitches...i hate bitches..they seems to increase in numbers these days in my college..sigh...i wonder if i will see any familiar faces among those new ppl??hmm..maybe some of my old friends??lol.....nad say hope there's some good d looking guys..hahahaz..better looking than babi jantan??hahaha....
did i mentioned she gotten her car d??i sat her car that day on friday when we went to take results..it's nice..small but nice...she looks the same..hahha..of course she look the same..it's only few weeks holiday??!!still a shopaholic..did i mentioned she went back with one bag and came back as usual with 3 bags??as usual lah..shopping like hell...can't believe it..she say now not addicted to ebay already..say "real shopping" have more satisfaction than online shopping..hahahhaha..that shopaholic!!as usual husbando nag her lah...but it's always been like that...hahaha..funny lah..and she still addicted to pacman..can u believe it??hahaha..funny lah she..
oh ya..adrian asked me to join again..some drawing comics team..but this time i don't really have to draw from scratch..can actually take other already drawn anime character as reference..he called that amateur's art...haven't really talk about it yet cause yesterday was kinda rushing to go..i asked him to msg me..but i doubt he will..this time i think i can join since no need to draw from scratch but no time leh..honors program starting soon..and i have to work also..dunno lah..but interested in joining..haih...no time dei!and i haven't been drawing for so long already..i want to draw to give it to someone somemore as a gift...bit still haven't start..darn...i wonder how's my other drawing doing..i've only given two drawings to 2 ppl..but that was so long ago..wonder they got keep it properly or not?got one is the first time i draw guy anime character up close....really want to keep it that time after i finish drawing but then it was a gift mah..so have to give it to ppl loh..
that's all lah..have to work in the afternoon today...bored..yeez went for orientation today..wonder how's she, sarah and paulynn doing?hahaha....
© Enigma
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Saturday, May 14, 2005
8:39 PM
Update on gb!!gunbound!!!gunbound!!
Yeah..damm addicted to gunbound..everyday play gunbound..want to play gunbound..now worse..download already into my comp..at home also can play already,no need to go cafe..took so long to download..stupid slow dial up internet connection...haih..what to do..father don't let me have streamynx broadband...came here to update a bit..my ranking went up again...now it's double wooden axe i think...going to work more to level up..gold more than 13750 already..my gp is 1216..but sadly percentage went up and down..but currently is 49%..trying to maintain it at 50%..it went down to 44%..scary man..then work so hard to win and finally now 49%..
ok done with gunbound..now about my life
nothin much..college starting soon..got my results already..consider ok since i really didn't study much and last minute dei..every single thing last minute....got all B's..1B and 2B-...idiot fish gave me a B-..after what i did for our human comm project..hmpphh..but surprised S.L.O.T can get B-..that one really fucked up..never listen in class..slow leceh old turtle..how to listen??sleep in her class lah..got insomia..go and find her..study really last minute..and the book not nice,no colourful pictures and interesting stories..so never really read that well also..like counselling book only..bleh...borrrriiiinnngg..how to read?they should come out more books like my gen psych,developmental psych and social psych books...i like those kind of books..and the human comm book also not bad..anthropology book also..anyway..i never expected that psycho bitch will give me a B..since her standard damm high...but once again i have to say she's a really good lecturer just that she expect too much..nobody is perfect sial..just because u miss ur cgpa 4.0 last time because one subject got A-..you no need to torture ur students like that right?she happy see students kena torture...haih...but anyway can't wait to get back my movie assignment from her..and my lab report also...hmmm...
well..i think my cgpa rise up again since this time all Bs..better than last time all C's except one B...(what u expect?last time 5 subjects..included 2 psych subject,somemore got anthro and bio...all study subject,want me to die izzit?that's y the only B is drama..i enjoy acting lah..missed that performance we did last last sem..)but..i don't need to care bout my cgpa anymore since starting new program..a fresh new start,all over again..must study this time..
Oh..and I got my job..will be trying it out..starting on monday..the time is flexible..and so is my timetable..i think most probably can work most of the time the boss need me to..yeah...the pay is high,the time is flexi and i can study at the same time..this is the kind of job i've been looking for man...!!a perfect past-time job!!if i work full day..i can get RM52..which i can since monday i have no classes..yeah!!!6.50 per hour..where can u get this kind of job??tell me lah..!!my dream job...i mean dream part time job!!i'm always broke anyway so i need some income..to support all my "illegal stuff"..hehehe..and if i'm lucky i can even save some..at least my "working account" won't be so empty...yeah!
haih..she call that day again..i really want to make things ok with her..but somehow..haih..i was really nice during the whole conversation..exceptionally nice...but things are different now..i seems uneasy talking to her..i mean i don't know..it just that i feel irritated...but was not realyl that bad cause long time never really contact already..she ask me how her birthday...she wants to go out with me....i don't want lah...lucky have to go college that day...but takkan don't celebrate her bday meh...i was thinking to go out with her one day..and get it done once and for all..but i really don;t want to be alone with her..i try to find someone but i can't...i don't know..i realyl want to make it up to her but somehow i can't..i just dunno how to say..i don't even konw i can stand going out with her or not...but it's been so long..i got a feeling that i cannot tahan...feeling damm gulity now..damm it...dunno how..should i buy a gift for her?i'm broke...arghhH!!
that's all for now..i'm off to play gunbound..heheh..just play today in cafe..now come home play again..man..my bill is going to rise so high...sigh..dad is going to cut my allowance again..nevermind..it's a long time since i gotten my allowance...i mean full allowance..lucky i have this part time job...i need cash!!!!$$$$$$$$$$.........hoping can get the gunbound card..so i can have cash for my avatar..it cost 20 bucks dei!i don't even have 5 bucks in my wallet now..sad..my wallet is empty most of the time anyway....$$$$$$???
okie..time to gunbound-ing!!!
p.s.bro call that day..just finish exams..was really busy..he..went for holiday again..this time went to pitsburgh i think..with friends..good lah him...last time went to chicago,los angeles and hollywood..and cousin's place in somewheere which i dunno but got lots of mountains and animals...somewhere in the outskirts..i wonder next time where is he going for holidays?oh ya..he gotten his international driving liscense d..can rent car and drive...but i dunno did he do that or not...oh and he's not coming back this december...graduating only in april like that since need to stay for one more sem..need to take a few more subjects...
okie..now really time to gunbound d!!!really late already!!!gunbound, here i come!!!!!!
© Enigma
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
11:55 PM
gunbound
whee......i just started can say 3 days ago..now damm addicted already..i'm getting better at it..hmm..really want to buy those avatar items..but need not only gold but cash also...and to get cash have to buy those prepaid card,dunno how much...dunno where to get also...percentage now high back already..i remember when i start that time keep losing..got like 6 losses..percentage drop to 33%..now more wins than losses already..hahaha..rise up to 50% already.finally...hoping to get it higher..nice to play dah...aiming also getting better already..i think i gonna ranked up soon already..my gp reaching 1100 soon..yeah.. can be one level higher..not a small little chicky anymore..now is 1010..i need 90 more...hahaha..but very hard to earn leh gp(something like experience points)....but nice da...
haih..feel like getting another account under his name..this account must get nice percentage...100% impossible lah...at least above 80%...gender of course guy lah..hahahah...haih..hopeless sial...never see him for so long already...miss him but try not to think bout him 2 much..too busy to think too much also..college starting soon..anyway not going to see him for quite some time already..since maybe not going to ts for quite some time...once again RIP mr. h @ mr pc...you will alwiz remain in our hearts..although i may not know you well,but still you make a difference in my life..your leaving have taught me things i never knew...may you be blessed..a friendly nice person who loses his cool aura once you get to know him..may you rest peacefully..
© Enigma
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
12:51 AM
Usual
Went to mv today..bowl a bit..was really bad..at least i manage to get strike..and of course yeez still look like a dead duck...the whole day was kinda "dead" for her ..we went to watch a movie also..watched a comedy since she's not up for anything else..definitely no sad movies..and i don't think action movie also good..anyway she needs a laugh at this time..so never get to watch kindoms of heaven..the only comedy available is guess who..so we watched that one..me and sarah did try to cheer her up but both of us are terribly bad at it..and knowing me..I always say the wrong things...i mentioned the word "dead" somemore...haih...I'm bad at cheering ppl lah..try to tell joke..but i dun think it's funny...hmm....but i did laugh although it's a fake laugh...that's why i say the best is for me to just keep quiet..i always say the wrong things accidentaly........anyway we went to mr.pc's mom shop to ask about the burial place and all... I was forced to go in and start the asking first...I didn't want to do it..but haih...dahlah..ppl like dead duck d...so I just "charge in" loh..was really under a lot of stress...I just walk straight in without thinking....yeez say i so damm brave...dammlah..I always do things without thinking automatically...can just "charge in"the shop like that without any preparation..haven't even think what to say and mind totally blank...as usual look like an idiot...and turn out to be one..cause i start a bit then in the end dunno what else to say already cause never think before hand..and mind blank so i just pause there....i need to rehearse first lah..somemore want to say we are his friends..just came back from outstation then only hear the news..haih...acted like we know him well that kind..guilty leh..somehow i feel rather uncomfortable lying like that..i'm mean it's not a big thing but still the family thought we knew him personally that kind..felt rather uncomfortable the whole time i was in there..don't really dare to look up much..and then after we got all the details already..home add and burial place all.. etc..that "dead duck" forgot to ask properly when are they going to have the "ceromony thingy" at their home,they ask us to go...i have to go back inside and ask..me alone...yes..turn out to look like an idiot again..i go and ask stupid question..i ask is this month rite...of course lah this month..need to ask somemore..haih...ppl look at me weirdly also..wonder they feel like laughing at me or not..
Sarah need to be home early so after that we went to fish station a while and then to cafe..got to play my gunbound finally..still learning how to play though..2morow going to play again..
Oh ya 2morow have to go and see the place..and the boss and all..if everything goes well then i will have a part-time job from now on..timing kinda flexible lah..
lazy to say more bout it..wait till i get it first then i will tell more about it
Nad came back already..hans started international school already on monday...of course nad was with hans the whole day in sch..first day mah..and first time..and she told me she gotten her car already..but sadly she told me that it's not really 100%tinted..cuz husbando say tak kena with the car..small car then want to make it like 'kongsi gelap' car like that..he say no need lah..so ..so tinted lightly only..ppl still can see from the outside..
Idiot rosh merajuk again..as usual..wantto have a decent conversation also cannot..must argue one..haih...worse than hans..everyday merajuk..malas nak layan..obese afghan refugee!!hmpph!!
*yawn*..i'm tired...better sleep now...i'm really crapping here dei..
© Enigma
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
12:18 AM
Rest in peace
Hello...rest in peace..sincerely offering my condolences to your family and ur loved ones....and may your soul be blessed.rest in peace.
I didn't know that life is so fragile...until today when i knew mr.h passed away or should i say mr. pc since know finally know his name already....just because some idiots betrayed him and slipped some pills into his drink..and unknowingly he drank it and died...anyway he shouldn't have touch those things in the first place..just because you are 18 doesn't mean u have to try all new stuff..i mean those things lah...haih...i never though that anyone i know could just die like that..although we dun really conisder know..but still kinda know him..and one month ago..he was still alive..talking to yeez and all and disturb me playing ID..and now died already...it's like...i dunno how to say..on moment he's alive and the next died already...i never really though about dying..never really give much thought about it..i mean i know everyone's die but just didn't really think that anything of that could really happen to anyone i know..i used to think of dying as something far away..for like older people and we don't really die that easily..but now i realize i was wrong..life so fragile like a glass..can be broken anytime anywhere...anyone can just die any moment just like that...haih...what if the next time is her?what if she die tommorow?then i surely will regret for treating her like that...i need to make up with her some time...?and what if next time is x-man who die?if he die...I really dunno how..surely heartbroken and sad like hell.....i really dunno what will become of me...lucky he's a person who don't really do dangerous stuff or go dangerous place...at least not that worry..and he knows how to think also..at least now i get to see him is a good thing..unlike someone..since i dunno when I will not be able to see him anymore if something really happens to him..I should be thankful that at least now I'm still able to see him...haih...really worry that he will die all of sudden...what will I do..?
Life..this is life...must treasure your life....you don't know what will happen tommorow..haih...still haven't fully accept the fact that ppl can die so easily.....
© Enigma
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Saturday, May 07, 2005
11:17 PM
Crap
Haih..haven’t been really good these few days…about him again lah…have been having sad dreams again..can’t even sleep well…….now I even scared of sleeping..what’s wrong with me?damm sad and depressing..i thought after so long…but still..cry like hell……every day?hahaha.till my eyes all dried up already…till there’s no more tears left..damm….damm pain lah…it doesn’t help that I get to see him yesterday..it got even worse...and it doesn’t help either that he’s avoiding me…obvious lah…got once when he saw me standing on the opposite machine..he purposely move away…lots of time also like that…seelah..this is call being friends?and when we are left almost alone..he will try to move away.. he’s not even talking to me lah..we are not even in talking terms?eh..friends can talk right?how many times you want me to take the iniative to try to talk to u and u don’t give any response.. i try talking to him but every time he doesn’t reply…but other ppl talk sure reply…and he rather talk to yeez…fucker..what’s ur problem now?talk also cannot izzit?what’s the point I’m like an idiot here trying to talk to u and u are ignoring me..obviously you are trying to ignore my presence..fucker…that’s call being friends???huh?u tell me lah??u think I not hurt izzit trying to talk to u every time?and it doesn’t help that you are ignoring me!!being friends??!!bullshit!!i’m damm sick and tired trying to talk to a wall lah!!!!!all of sudden he turn back into a wall again?what’s the fucking problem now?you still have something izzit?you think I cannot be a wall izzit?i can also lah..but what’s the point being like that..we still can be friends right?you think very nice izzit that everytime u talk to someone and he doesn’t give any response..you feel like a total idiot standing there..that’s me lah..an idiot..can even throw away all my pride..hahahaha…embarrassing myself only..it’s painful enough already trying to talk to you but congrats to you for just deepening the cut on my wound by ignoring me..still I will continue to try to talk to him..hahaha..stupid man…I know..even planning to still sms him on festive season like Christmas,new year…etc…although I know no reply but still…friends what..i wish everyone anyway on festive season.…I really want to see him but then again I don't want to see him if he act like a wall..but actually no matter how even if he act like a wall also..I still want to see him..even though it hurts..damm!no mood to play anything after seeing him like a wall yesterday..even soul calibur..what's the point..just to get nearer to him in a way?what's the use if he act like that..don't you know I don't even want to hit your account...hahaha..and you always give me more loses only if your account appear..for no reason my account yesterday added don't know how many losses again cause his fucking account appear dunno how many times..now more than 200 losses d...thanx to the wall lah..hahaa..but no matter how I will still work on it to get nearer to him..hahaha..i'm an idiot...hahaha...I need my college life back..at least I won’t have so much time to think about him..damm man..the whole day sad like hell..no mood to do anything..not even my fav things..can you believe that I actually lose interest in comp games?comics?watching tv?drawing?story?every single thing…I lose interest in every single thing..even money maybe…hahaha..i don’t want to do anything..don’t want to go out….and I can’t stop the fucking tears from flowing..and the best part is u know what?i have to act perfectly fine in front of my family…damm..i can’t go on like this lah..sick and tired of acting perfectly fine in front of everyone…hahahaha..well maybe certain times I’m really fine...dunno…hahhahaha…I need a shoulder but I can’t find one..hahaha.. u think people want to listen to ur fucking problem everytime izzit…what’s the point anyway?people will also fed up with you right?why worry them anyway?and why trouble them?seelah…not like I never try talking…but end up?end up..u know what…I have to worry back about her getting cheated …hahahha..isn’t that funny?and the others?hahaha….well..what can they do anyway…all are not here anyway when I need a hug..hahahaha…fuck them all…..i just realize I’m a damm lonely person…yeah….hahahah…don’t know how long can I last…anyway…maybe I really go mad one day soon….. at least I’m still functioning..I’m not making any sense anyway….well.i’ll be ok the next day..feel like doing something crazy now…i mean not killing myself lah…but just doing something stupid and crazy…like screaming in public..or in the cinema??dancing on the road?or just running across a busy road and nearly gotten myself kill..(definitely not the "normal" thing I will do..i scared of crossing busy roads) hahaha…hahaha..well I dunno..whenever I feel like that…i just feel like doing something stupid..hey at least it’s fun…but surely later regret….i think I need some stupid fun lah…maybe I’m not thinking properly..that’s why feel like doing something stupid…what am talking anyway…not making any sense..trying not to scroll back up to read what I’ve written..surely regret….because I know I surely write a lot of crap here..that’s y I try not to read what I write everytime…hahahaha..cause I know I will surely delete the whole thing…..what am I talking now anyway?not making any sense…I don’t want to sleep....can u believe it I have phobia of sleeping because of that idiot?damm…………………….anyway..i have started back writing my real diary..i mean those hand written kind one no this typing kind one..what am I saying anyway?just fuck it lah…….
A fucked up person today
A fucked up person tomorrow
Because of a fucker
Who is only fucked up towards me
Is he really worth the fucking trouble?
A fucker
Who is not everything
That, I know
But then, am I just another fucker
Because of missing that fucker
Who I knew is not a real fucker
But only a fucker towards me
Maybe because to him, I’m a fucker?
And to me, he’s a fucker
So that’s make us both a fucker
Hahahaha..
I’m not making any fucking sense
So just fuck it…
© Enigma
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Sunday, May 01, 2005
2:40 PM
Hallucination...
Hmm..I think I'm hearing things now...i dunno..am i insane?or at the brink of it?twice I heard my alarm clock ring from downstairs...and when I went up to check..it's off..impossible!!or maybe some of my neighbours got some alarm clock with the same music?and..when always when I wake up in the morning I think I heard my phone sounded as if there's message...but when I check..there's nothing!!it's been happening for a few days already..the phone thing..or maybe I haven't totally awake yet..was half asleep..half dreaming..or is it that I'm hoping some message from someone?haih..haven't been sleeping well these few days..woke up quite early every day..it's my holiday for goodness sake!and i wake up at 9???!!it's just too early...haih..had a dream bout him again...this time is somethng to do with his phone...haih...miss that idiot...he never came yesterday...he usually do on saturdays..i wonder why?is he sick?or busy studying for exams?or maybe his family went back to hometown or something..since monday is a public holiday..got 4 days holiday..dunno lah..what if he's sick?somemore he got gastric..and always don't eat accordingly to the time..haih..why do i bother again...probably he's just broke that's y never come..that day monday he came but never play anything using his money..even soul calibur..so maybe he's just broke...but was hoping to see him yesterday..haih...again no mood to play soul calibur..it always happen..i lost damm many times..my ranking even went down..play like shit can say so lah...never really play ID that much..oh..the day before,friday..i think I'm was possessed or what..I did a 2.40 on irohazaka with our dc in ID..that time yeez also cannot do..hahaha..damm happy man..before that i did a 2.46 and 2.44..bad man..then all of sudden did a 2.40..haih...i was kinda thinking of him that time..maybe that's y..this is the 2nd time something like that happen..the last time was quite long ago when I was driving my evo on iro wet..did a very good time also..was thinking bout him that time also..and that time yeez also say the time good..but was very long ago..haih...hopeless man..play the 50 cent machine the most..broke my snapshot record also..the highest among all the machines..got 121k+ my last record was 120k+..so broke it..got my name on the top again on another machine..before that i try dunno how many times..even managed to get the 4th place on that machine the first few tries..but i din enter my own name only..i enter someone elses name inside also..was kinda down that time..so dunno why i did that also..but i dun think anyone else there will know what it means anyway..except orso maybe..haih..i also managed to spent some time at borders yesterday reading manga..hahaha..cause was bored..and he wasn't there so i went down to borders to read comics loh..yeez was kinda angry with me..for leaving her up there so long alone..she even came down to find me...haih..i don't want to stay there cause there's a lot of people there..and i don't like..I just don't feel like being in a crowded place at that time with those people...somehow feel like being alone that moment so i went down loh..kinda wasted lah go there yesterday..he never come..and someone's mr.h also never come..hahaha..someone is dissapointed?but it's wasted lah yesterday!!!haih.......feeling damm down now...shit lah..and don't feel like doing anything..don't even feel like playing the comp..missing him...damm man.......tired...woke up damm early today also..cannot sleep well......dammn it..!!!!!!!!!argghhh!!!!just feel like going driving right now...at least it's peaceful sitting inside a car that moves...just looking at the scenery outside..don't have to say anything..don't have to do anything..just look at the passing scenery...haih..if only someone's here to drive me out...make me miss the 3R + shaz(hahahah..) times we had last time..haih..anyway.. nad getting a car soon....but still it wouldn't be the same...
p.s. something really disgusting happened yesterday...but i wasn't there to witness it..i was at soul calibur there..yeez was there..she told me...that disgusting fat ass guy "naik miang" already after he accidentaly fall on some girl..touch the boobs or something i dunno lah..yeez told me that he keep saying "damm nice" and all..and was smiling all the way when playing..plz lah..damm disgusting man...my goodnesss..plz lah who on earth will do that..behave lah..can't control urself izzit?anyway i wonder who will like him with that kind of disgusting face and fat look?he got the stalker rapist look...i know i'm being biased but it's the fact leh..worse than biadawak..at least biadawak better than him..i'm sure nad will laugh if she sees this...anyway nobody likes that fat ass also...pay money to raise his level one..while he dun have the skills there..everyday also ask ppl to battle for him..and all he knows is to bully those who dunno how to play..what's the use if u got the level 31 car there if u dun have the skills?even ah loong also don't like him..that day he can invite himself to have lunch with us..we never invite him u know..he forces himself on us..we only ask ah loong..but he can "tak tau malu" go and invite himself..my god..that's why i say worse than biadawak..must tell nad lah..but she's not here sial..went back to singapore already for her sister's wedding..coming back next week..haih..
© Enigma
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