take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
7:38 PM
a question
someone ask me why do you love him?
a question that i never thought is a question..
i kept quiet..
and answered..
"i dunno..i guess i just fell for him?does love need a reason?"
that is all i answered in the night that rains silently..
he just nodded his head in understanding....does he really know my answer?
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
1:17 AM
you..hopeless me..
*Sigh*...why am i back to missing you again?exams coming..wonder how r u gonna do it?really glad that u were there that time when i went..wasn't expecting u'll be there since it's late d..but was hoping..hey..thanks once again..u'll somehow miraclously appear when i hope to see u even though it's not possible..*sigh*..we are really back to talking terms this time..for good i hope..at least he won't treat me as an invisible wall nemore..haih..i accidentaly touch his hand that day..normal wat.. but he quickly move his hand away..=.="...his hand was on the start button of the rock fever machine la..and i wanted to press start for my autopedal..=.="..lolz..he help me press the start button but dun help yeez when we r playing the time..hahaahaz..couldn't really concnetrate with him standing beside me..*sigh*..why am i like that?*sigh*...i dunno..he cut his hair again it seems =.="..i like the previous hair la..too short d this one..oh..that donkey also help us battle level up twice our car in version 3..couldn't find ah loong that time to help..ppl challenge back..(yeez not really goot at V3 yet)..so i went to find him to help loh..haihz..then when yeez was playing her v3 free round after battling..he didn't came over our side..instead he went to stand at the opposite V3 machine..haih..i was standing..so can see him directly la from opposite..nobody is there also,his friend all at our side of V2 machine also..why he wanted to stand there??haihz..i dunno la..stop making me confuse....i dunno..y u stand there???and i didn't move either =.="..i can look at him somemore..more like peek =.="..nice view..but only small peeks..dun dare to peek too much..but got one time i umm..got caught..more like we caught both of us..but we quickly look away..??i dunno la..so i pretend to talk to yeez..=.="..dunno wat am i talking also..she was busy driving there..i keep saying wanted to challenge her..but actually i dunno what i'm talking..wasn't concentrating..then he came over say wanted to "tiok" yeez..hahaha..speak english somemore =.="...his version 3 level 21 d??but in the end never la..not bad wat his english...better than last time..at least now occasionally i can hear him speak..although short sentence..at least he's improving in a way..i can never keep my promise..sorry..sorry..i dunno how..*sigh*...it's already so hard just to get u to start talking to me..how am i gonna ask to help u..later i'm really scared u'll turn back into a wall..dunno..that donkey also started driving d....illegally la must be..asked us drive what car..hahaha..=.="..reminds me of how useless i am..till now still drive like shit..my useless liscence..i'm a slow driver whose max speed is 70 (yes..dun laugh..i go 40 on road..yess..i know blocking other ppl..but i can't help it ok?)..*sigh*..bad at junctions..terrible..i want to be a good driver..how long do i have to be like this..i'm not a "P" anymore!!shame on me!!
*sigh*...seems to be missing him more than ever..what's wrong with me??what is wrong with me??nononon..my exams!!gogogogo....
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Monday, August 29, 2005
2:46 AM
大长今
"在宫廷似乎可以拥有一切，但是也夺走了我最重要的东西，似乎可以让我做到我想做的事，但也可以使我一无所有，一切看来似乎很华丽，但竟然会如此悲伤。" -徐长今-
一个具有历史性的真实故事...值的一看...长今那份坚强的意志和不放弃的精神...是值的学习的..凭着男女平等的信念，成为了韩国历史上的第一位女医官(而且还被赐了三品官和大长今这个称号),改写了韩国的历史，证明了女人也可以做男人所做的事...真是一部好伤心又感人的戏剧...值的一看..
p.s.上一个post..就是大长今香港版的插曲...主题曲会迟些post..>.<"..思念..是首好听和感人的歌,尤其是看了那部戏剧的人..我好喜欢那首歌..>.<..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, August 28, 2005
3:20 AM
思念..<2103>
在远方思念
忘掉却骤现
我心中暗颤
期待你出现
为见你一面
寻觅到实现
看风筝有线
魂断线不断
如若他朝可再见
让爱纠缠我未能话别
情定今生只爱他
爱他
未怕一生记挂
我将一生爱
爱惜他
在脑海思念
还望再会面
看风筝有线
魂断线不断
如若他朝可再见
让爱纠缠我未能话别
情定今生只爱他
爱他
未怕一生记挂
我将一生爱
爱惜他
情定今生只爱他
爱他
未怕一生记挂
我将一生爱
爱惜他
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, August 25, 2005
11:48 PM
*sigh*...my haven??
sometimes you wish there's someone there
to care for you
share your troubles
share your joy
to be there
to wipe ur tears
pat ur shoulder
always by your side
no matter what happens
silence is enough
as no words are enough
to describe the strong bond...
but will u ever find one?
will there ever be a place..
u can take off your mask?
to laugh all u want?
to cry all u want?
to strip yourself to the core..
no pretense..
no lies..
so tiring..
life is tiring...
sick and tiring..
will there ever be a meaning for all these?
I don't even know who am i..
I thought i've found myself..
but then again..
sigh...
will there be such a place?
such a person?
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, August 21, 2005
10:01 PM
<1437>
haih..went yesterday..again i submit to yeez..my determination to say "NO!" always failed for some strange reason...dang!oh well..glad i went neway...kinda worth it..=p...haih..dunno what's wrog with him..he suddenly so good.....talk to me..as in talk a lot that kind..and take the iniative to say hi to me..haih..lots of stuff happen....even talk to him on the phone..in a way..only a short while..=.="..really..when i wanna talk to him..i can't seems to find nething to talk.. mind blank...dunno la...haihz..he look a bit different..cut the hair d..some time ago but got once when he went home to bath and then came back with different clothes..he look different =.="..i can't recognize him???he look different from the side...oh well..he kinda look good in that clothes..damn..yes..i was looking..haihz...saw ppl peeking also from the corner of my eyes..usual...got one time i think we kinda caught each other looking....darn man..i knew he was looking at me when i was playing..he was sitting near the counter there..can see a bit fo my face although machine blocking..cause i can see him a bit also..i couldn't concentrate in my game..(wanting to break yeez record that time-first checkpoint got minus somemore,can break one)...couldn't concentrate la.knew he was looking..and then when ckin came n talk to me..he was looking also..haihz..then when he play V3 the time also..haihz..once finish playing then turn n look for what..was standing..yeez playing...i knew he turn n look cause b4 that i was peekingat him...haihz..*sigh*..oh well..he came to us and talk to us quite a lot..was happy that he's not a wall nemore....i even took the courage to ask him he change new no izzit(althoug i knew the answer d)..he just smile or izzit grin..in a shy way???=.="..and say dunno..dunno...wtf?haih..see la..give yeez new no also dun give me one..always yeez tell me only i know...nvm la..he really was different yesterday,take the iniative to talk n all..at least we're back to consider friends d...what more can i ask right?that donkey nvr study for his exam..said nvr study long time d..ask yeez to ask..haih..like that how to pass him exam??improtant u know!major exam!!!how to help him???haihz..dunno nemore...
oh,yesterday got free movie to watch..ah loong's fren belanja..his "bad influence frens"..haih..those 13 years old that go our every night..parents dun care one..and dun like to study one..haihz..parents give that boy money everyday..RM50..sometmes RM100..OMG!!one day u know!!and they so wasting..we went to eat in kenny roger's poor ah loong..have to move between their tables and ours..his fren all sit in another table..he sat with us..and his fren were all so noisy=.="..bunch of kids..the center of attraction..the whole place can hear thier voice..omg..stand up and talk so loud somemore..=.="..neway after that watch movie..that "rich kid"belanja..we actually din go one..but ah loong called us to go..hahahaha..can save money also..so go loh..watched the new doraemon movie (comic-cerita panjang see b4 d,i got collect cerita pnajang one)..it's about the "pesuruh angin" one..touching story..in the end i knew there's this sad part..comic i also cry d..this one movie lagi worse..sure la cry..haih..i'm very emotional one..easily can cry..=.="(jewel in the palace make me cry again today..almost every episode also cry..=.="sad..tragedy man..but today's episode was touching also..)..hahha..but one good thing bout me is..my eyes won't get puffy one..looks very fine one..other ppl cry sure can see one..but me..after that cannot see one..perfectly fine..nobody will know that i cry b4..haih..nad also say my eyes good la..from small already like dat d..that's y if wanna hide..parents won't even know i got cry or not..easy eyes..>.<..
oh..saw ah loong's i/c(knew his bday..gonna give him sumthing)..=.='he's actually malaysian..all along i though he was a singaporean..he's a malaysian that stay in singapore..now i guess temporary staying here??dun even know he's going back to singapore or not??like staying here for permanent only...hope so la..=)..he's going to school also..going to register himself..hahaha..can't imagine la.he go high school???weird...=p..neway happy for him la..hope he can go school..he wasted so many time d..>.<..never get to ask him to be my pet bro yet >.<...i know i'm useless >.<"...that day he send me the "bro n sis" msg..was glad..hehehe..i really starting to treat him like my small bro d..=.="..really concern bout him..hahaha...he's a really nice caring bro to have la..i suspect he saw my msg n screensaver that day..damn!..that's y he send me those msg of be happy??=.="...damn!damn!..i hope i'm just oversensitive and he din see...but that day he was going through my pic msg..surely he saw the one that x-man gave me one?haih..dunno la...dunnnnnnnooooooooooooooo!!!
oh..and today got this small kid..so cute..help him to get his ID card..he ask me how to get it..so cute..got this urge to pat the head..=.="..i did in fact a few times somemore..hehehe..=p..somemore can belanja him one round..=.="..the sister just throw this samll boy here and they go and play herself..and this boy so good listen to what ppl say one..=.="so easy to be kidnapped or "kena tipu"..lucky he met us..=.="..cute little boy..if only i have a small bro like that..hahahaz..
haih..i'm really a useless hopeless donkey...................................................missing u...hope to see ya soon...do u too??hahhahhaz...haih....bye..this is really as stupid post..!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, August 18, 2005
10:19 PM
<2103>
will there ever be a second chance?is that possible?do u know humans are stupid createures who will not treasure what they have when they have it..until they lost it they only will start to realize the loss..and regret about it..but then again time would not turn back.so it's really pointless to mourn over a single mistake..but then again humans are stupid..they'll mourn for it the whole of their lives..saying..what if they didn't make that mistake..how will it be then?will things be different?how good if there's a time machine..we can go back in time to change our mistakes..but then if we can have that kind of power to go back in time,we wouldn't be humans right?because humans are stupid..yes and that includes me.never take things for granted,if not you'll regret it.treasure what you have now,or lose it forever.but then we are humans,since when does humans listen???hahaha...haiz...but who wouldn't wish they can have another chance to change things??but is there a second chance in the first place?
© Enigma
1 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
9:54 PM
stupid game..
*sigh*..can we stop this stupid game??peek-a-no boo?hide and no seek?or hide and peek?i dunno what to do anymore..really..i wanna talk to u..but how come i can't think of anything to say?darn..............i've questions to ask u..but can't seems to get it out of my mouth...how are you doing?exams?how am i gonna ask bout keeping my promise?i wanted to see you..but then again i don't..and yet u appear...*sigh*..but i'm glad u did though...arghhhh!!i'm really sick of this game...wtf??wtf now!WTF now!!!y do we end up like this....so tired..damn..can we just get it over and done with...???why is it still dragging on...??y are the feelings still there?me?or u?or me and u?oh fuk!dang!dang!dang!!!dumb stupid game...that has no ending..followed by more tears...and nothing else..dumb..this is dumb....miss ya...can u just fuck off my life?*sigh*..don't think it's possible..stupid game..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, August 14, 2005
7:40 PM
i can!i will!!i will live throught this!
gogoogo!!i can!I will!i will live through this hell...assignments..assignments..not again..hellish program i say!!this is unreasonable!!hell!nononono!!!noooooooooooooo!!!exams..exams..assignment..assignments..gogogog!!I CAN DO IT!!dei..i want an A...at least in one subject..aiming for that in social n health psych class!!gogog!!!oh..that day lembu lembik say got correction in marking of our mid-term exams....every add 3%..yay!!that's mean mine is 89%..wow!!my psych paper 89%????my assignment 85%??omg..am i dreaming..*pinch myself*....motivation to study study study!work work and work harder!!gogogogo!!!I CAN DO IT!!cgpa here i come~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG..=.="..i sound like a nerd!!dei..=.="..yes i've BECOME A NERD!!wahahahaha...*sigh*...tiring ..did i mention i lost weight again..from 40/41/41.5->38.5->37.5kg...OMG!!!i didn't know it still can go DOWN!!dei...=.="..STUDY STUDY STUDY!!i'm becoming mad d...crazy..I HAVE NO LIFE MAN!!!nooooooo!!all i do is STUDY STUDY AND WORK WORK WORK since i change to this new program!!WHAT IS THIS??!!WHERE'S MY LIFE???!!!*sigh*....dead..@.@..">.<...nerd">LIFE???!!!*sigh*....dead..@.@..>.<...nerd rules??!!hahahhha...=p
oh..yesterday night ah loong called..>.<' ..talk bout almost half an hour....talk quite a lot..felt bad..his bill will be then so high??=.="..omg..i should have call back....how i know the conversation will go on that long?=.="..if his dad didn't come back..surely longer..=.="..lucky also..haih..sad to hear that his family like that..*sigh*..feel like doing something for him..>.<..didn't manage to get to ask him to become my pet bro yet..dei wanted d..then his dad came back..-.-..dunno how long d i wanna ask..i dunno how to ask la!!dun normally ask ppl..it's ppl ask me..-.-'..yesterday i become someone's pet sis again..-.-'..someone ask..dei..*sigh*..neway will try to ask soon..wonder when will that be..centuries?
oh..did i mention that day i bought a discount voucher that worth up to RM800 for only 30 bucks for 3 retaurant and one hair salon in hartamas..actually dun want to buy one..but the gal also a student..she's doing her final project..internship with company or watla..she needs to suceed in this project in order to help her get her first class honours..somemore so teruk..in the haze also have to go each office around there..so kesian..n she keep saying plz helpla..and all..i see her i think bout myself also in honours program..kesian pula..so i help her buy loh..so kesian..she say nxt time if i got final project thingy then she will surely help..lol..couldn't help her much..can only buy one >.<..didn't bring enough money..we chatted..then suddenly we kinda become friends d..=.="..so fast??dei...hahha..exchange our number all..=.="..btw she's a student from UUM..show me her student id somemore..hahha..oh..and she say i look so skinny=.="ask me to eat more..hahha..and that i look like a high school student =.="..dei..see la..*sigh*..used to it d..always get the impresion of being a small gal..=.="..at least let me look my age la..really look childish..*sigh*...oh well..mentally i am a kid too..ahhahha...=p..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
you..
will it stop?will it..?can i locked the feelings up and chuck it away in a box and throw it away in some far away places like the sahara desert..or dead sea..although it was brief...*sigh*..but i was glad that u talk to me....*sigh*..and glad that u came back...y did u?just to play version 3?can't u wait till 2molo or other day?it's so late anyway...came back for what...u got plenty of other time..to see who's still there izzit?or what?me perhaps?*sigh*...i dunno want to know..dunno wat to care......but i want to know..want to care.....hell..i don't know what i want..i'm really lost when it comes to you..y?y must it be this way?i wanna give up...i wana let go...but can't..i guess i'll always be like this?*sigh*...woorying bout u again?good thing u not coming nemore when u got ur exams..u know how important is it..but how u gonan do it?especially english?ur other sub also...i really wanna help you...can i keep my promise and teach you?after all i did promise....but i dun think u would want?or how am i gonna tell u bout it?*Sigh*...how..?it's only like 3 more months???worry....wtf do i worry for you??nononono...i must worry for myself..i have my studies to worry about too..but why do i care bout yours instead??omg..nononono....my studies..now i only need to concentrate on mine...all i need is this..yes..this..no other things..i need a high gpa..!!gogogog!!work hard!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, August 13, 2005
3:00 AM
signs from you
i know..the signs all..all these while..that isn't a surprise to me when i was told..u have been giving me those same signs i have been giving u...the peeking?the wanting to be near?the feeling of wanting to be near but feel like avoiding also..feel like seeing but then again no...the crapping?remember the crapping..wanting to talk but dunno wat to talk bout...but what's the point?u can't overcome ur biggest fear...u can't face ur fear...thus,making me impossible to enter ur world..*sigh*...ur fear..which i hated..it will be ur downfall one day if u don't overcome it....*sigh*..r u willing to be just a silent watcher like me?i guess so...both silent watcher standing betwen the fine line of border..the border that look so thin but yet so strong...a line that can't be erased unless u have the courage to face it...somehow glad to know that you care..that you ask bout me..i guess...dunno..dunno anymore..*sigh*..this is just like any other tradegy in some stupid movie..but this is different..it will never have a happy ending..u know why?cause of ur fear....
i've grown into a different person..i've change..i noticed it....life is so much bigger than this..so much more to explore..and i'm just a small little pebble in the midst of the sea...i have many things in life to look forward...not only one thing..but i really wonder..will the fullstop appear one day?will it?till then..what will it be?the coma or the semicolon?or is it the question mark?making it to one long never ending sentence....*sigh*...aren't we just hopeless?
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
6:46 PM
=.="..too tired...
dead..dead..all these workload from college....arghhhh...phew..*sigh*..=.=".dunno what else can i say..i'm dying..every night with only few hours of sleep..grrrr...i have my part time job too..this is tiring...no rest..lazy to say nething..i'm just dying...honours..no more plz..no more!!!!!!=.="..oh..my milgram essay came back..woot!!got quite high...85%.but not highest =.="..highest 92 i think..lembu lembik mark lenient la...easy also..but she leaving d..and i heard SNAIL is taking over after this!!!O NO!!that's means she marking our lab report???surely kena sial...................dunno!!!i hope i can keep this up..nad say if i keep this up i'm going to get an A!!OMG!!an A???!!!an A...WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!i'm can be in the A list???!!OMG..am i dreaming..=.="..but surely can't la..now snail is teaching..dr.goh finished his part d..somemore..health psych section i haven't taken b4...arghh!!!!oh and winne assignment came back today kena minus 0.5% AGAIN!!!HELL!!just because i was late pas up..came lat e to class..FUCK HELL!!happen 2 times d..DEI NO DA!!10 mins late..see la...by the rate i'm going..research methods kena minus quite a lot d..last time late 0.3%...HELL..ppl all got their 3% i got 2.5%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN!hope can get back my marks in my final report...=.="...sigh*..work work work....what is dueing next??oh...poster review...winnee final report..stress essay for dr.goh..oh..and winne's mid term test next week..and then finals coming so soon....work..work work...*sigh*..oh today i get to eat my eel...yummy..the haze is really bad today...terrible!!whatever..tired..bye..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, August 07, 2005
12:40 AM
wordless..you..
well..i dunno what to say.shouldn't go..but went in the end...why do i always never listen?well..for the sake of someone say will help me..haih..actually good also in a way i went?got to see him...and got some news from him...but..i really dunno anymore..how can i still feel the same?haih...he look a bit different..his hair i think...as usual stuff happen..and i dun wanna go into details..too tired..i just can't think right now...well..get to see his hp today..>.<..i know it's an invasion of privacy but..haih...he got new number again...see lah..will msg yeez but not me..forever...scared to talk to me like that...well at least i did talk to him today in away..as usual i take the iniative..was more like joking la..and only when yeez is there...i'm really tired to have to pretend already....i'm really sicked of all this..y can't u just talk to me like old times??or treat me like old times??fucker!!can't u treat me like friends like old times??i dunno what is wrong with me..i can't really think properly..i didn't really bother to peek at him that much today also..maybe i'm just too tired..but quite a lot of times he came and stand beside me..and my mind was blank..fucking hell.. i wanted to talk to him one..but somehow i dunno y i can't think of anything..wtf is this???maybe he same?that's y dun want to talk to me?duno what to talk also..haih...oh..when he play shooting game..i peek over..i realize he got one nice gaya there..a bit "yau yeng"..fuck!what am i thinking bout this?oh..he got a christian name or nickname...alex..dei!=.="..dun really suits him..hahha..didn't know he even got such name..omg.. i dunno really..i was fine..until i saw him..misses him a lot..damn...now i fell worse..misses more..worry for nothing?hell..why does it still hurt so much to see you?i dunno..i thought i'm already letting u go bit by bit??i guess not..it still hurt..it still does...i dunno y..i still misses u...stuff are left hanging that's y..i really wanna talk things over with u..we really didn't finish our stuff..if not wtf are u treating me like this?u call this being friends?stop giving me signs that are not suppose to be...oh man!!is there really no hope left?if really..what is this??what are u acting like this?i need answers..not more questions.oh man..hell..HELL..why did i do that?why did u do that?why do i feel like that?why do u act like that?why did u say that?y did i said that?why u wanna do that?what are u thinking now?what u want?what am i thinking?what i want?why u treat me like that?what happen?what is happening?why is is still like that?why do u mind?why did i did that?i wanna cry...i really do..i already did..there's no tears..have u been so painful and so sad..that no tears came out?..hahaha..i'm at the brink of insanity..it hurts..i misses you..i really do..i'm worry..i'm rally tired..i dun wanna to wear this mask anymore..to keep all the things inside..u think it's easy to be all happy when talking to u..damn..but i still try to make our friendship going..can't u act more normal towards me?oh damn..hell..hahahha.. can' t stop thinking..i can't do work..stp replaying...get it off..y can't my feelings just died away..fade away..?don't feelings fade with ttime passes??i don't see any of that!!wtf is time doing!!washes all this away..wash it all away!!fade away!!kill it!!!i don't want this feeling..kill it!!hahha..dun think it's possible..why did i make that mistake?regret..regret..regret..regret..the pain all comes from this regrets...hahaha..isn't that fun?wish can turn back time..i won't make the same mistake...oh damn...hahaha..fuk this post..this is a crap post..dun bother!!love u alwiz?miss u alwiz?hahahi'm not thinking straight..fuk this post!!fuck u!and fuck me!hahahhaa....
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, August 04, 2005
10:39 PM
Lose weight!!omg..skeleton!!
more and more ppl have been saying i lose weight..damn..and nad say today she really sees it when she saw me walking in front..cause normally she don't really look at me since i'm always like so near her..but she say today she saw me from far..and i look relly terrible..oh damn..really lose weight..realyl like aneroxia d...skeleton..and jiun also say me lose weight and ppl also..help.!!i dun want to be any skinnier..i eat like normal..sleep..well not really normal..but still last time i dun see myself like that..and so it' must be WORK..nad told me..last time i dun work,so not that bad..sleep late also not that bad..not working..i have like no rest..work then school..work then school..even rest day(sat & sun) gotta do assignment also..plus this new program isn't helping much..with 10 times the workload..HELL!i feel so tired everyday..and i think job staisfaction is back to low now..on wed i don't even have the fucking mood to work..work like shit..i really cannot cope anymore..i feel like quitting really..seriously..even i like the job but still..i mean MY JOB DOESN'T INCLUDE BABYSITTING FOR A BUNCH OF STUPID IDIOT KIDS @ SPOIL BRATS WHO IS BECOMING NAUGHTIER DAY BY DAY!I'M NOT A FUCKING BABYSITTER!FUCK OFF!i know i'm good at babysitting..i mean i can handle kids..enjoy it..yea..but DAY AFTER DAY THE SAME THING...and one fucking hell 6 years old is so fucking rude..scolded me..u think i'm a maid or what??!WTF!!if i dun care of losing this job..i'll just FUCK UR ASS MAN,KIDDO!U WATCH UR MOUTH!!think u r so great..fuck off..i've seen life 13 years further than u!KNOW MORE CURSE OR SWEARING THAN U EVER KNOW!ALL THESE RICH SPOILED BRATS!!I MEAN I'VE ALREADY BEEN SO STRESS OUT AND TIRED OVER MY ASSSIGNMENTS IN COLLEGE I DUN HAVE ANYMORE ENERGY FOR THESE KIDS..THAT'S WHY I BECOMING DREADED TO WORK EACH DAY...if i'm not studying,holiday.. nevermind..but now??I'M NOT A FUCKING HELL BABYSITTER OK??I WANT AN OFFICE JOB ONLY!!!!DAMN!!LIKE I'M NOT TIRED ENOUGH??!I EVEN LOSE HELL LOT OF WEIGHT!!I FEEL TERRIBLE!!I REALLY FEEL LIKE SLAPPING THEM OFF AND TELL THEM U BETTER SIT DOWN AND BE A GOOD KID AND SHUT THE HELL UP,LIKE I DUN HAVE ENOUGH STRESS..AND JUST FUCK THE JOB..HAHAHAH..that would be nice..that teach them a lesson..patience??i'm not learning to be a mother...some kids are ok..but still there alre always the spoiled brats among them...FUCK HELL,like i dun have enough to deal with..nononono..NO MORE..I'M NOT GOING TO WORK THREE DAYS..NEXT SEM TWO DAYS!!AND NO MORE FULL DAY!!I HAVE A FUCKING HELL PACKED TIMETABLE NEXT SEM..cause it's a short sem...one week dunno how many hours..
ohh...by the way...today got back our social mid terms..=.="..surprisingly i got quite high..yay..was really happy...got 86%...^.^..i think i'm the highest in class..*sigh*..but mid terms only take up how many percent of the entire course..but neway was happy..hahhaha..take that the power of ex-adpian..wahahhaha..must thank winnee...all her teaching last time..anyway this is my =.="second time studying social psych also..lol..wahahah..beaten that nyonya nerd (82%) who read the entire textbook and realyl by the book type who follows every single rules and that's y lah nad got lower marks for her group obeservation..and think she's clever..and i nvr did much study..i think i study last minute..=.="..cannot finished also..nad got 64..jiun got 71 i think..syamim all got 50++..got quite a lot failed..got 40 something..and ah tong got 28..=.="..he look so sad..he's so blur about everything..oh well...happy =)..my essay was a whole lot of crap about social identity theory..hahha..didn't expect that..but my MCQ help..got 2 wrong only..^.^v...anyway not going to get that kind of marks ever again..since social psych section finished d..it's health psych section now..*sigh*..never realyl learn b4 except a bit in gen psych last time..and research methods in ms.w class..sure la won't get high marks..knowing her questions and her expectation..
anyway was really happy=)...i feel right at home now..found out *phew*..at least a lot of them are not really straight A student kind..all like 60 something..me and nad also..=)..we are the B or C student category..except got a few student like nyonya,jumping chatterbox,kancheung checker....is potential A student lah..but we still won't know yet..must see the whole course mark..and plus they have so much more workload than me and nad..hahaha..=p..jiun say she nvr gonna take 4 subjects anymore..she rather finished this course extra one more year than finished it faster and get shit results...she lose weight too..=p..anyway had a happy time in class with her today..joke a lot and talk a lot also..=)..and feel happy also cause got one activity dr.goh ask us to write down what we did b4 that i think..she wrote "feel lonely until met nadia and jeannie"..hehehe=)..she was with other ppl also before that..that's mean we are fun to be with..wahahah..we found someone in this program finally that we can at least have some fun with..^.^..yea.!at least not that boring anymore...and today a lot of writing-down activities in calss we wrote stupid and funny stuff and laugh bout it...lazy to describe here...=.="..but still miss adp..hahaha..and adp people miss us..ah bin told us he misses us that day..talk to him online..mee fen also told us earlier she misses us..='(...lol..our fun is missed..*sigh*...me and nad..*sigh*..two as crazy as each other..that's why we had double the fun..or maybe we are just kids who never grow up?hahaha..think back..it's really funny and how fate brought us two together..two person who is so really different from appearance to even age..not even anything common from the outside..but then again we are alike in many ways from the inside..it's funny and weird..i would never in my life think that i would become close friends with a person like her..hahahaz..but then again she's exceptional case..funny with her narcisstic way..hahah..she's just funny...a kid who never grows up..=p..i think that's what make us so alike?btw..after her addiction to pacman,brick game..now her newest addiction is galaxian..=.=""..she play until 3 o'clock last night..hahaha..i can't believe that..she like those old old games...funny la..!
ohh..and last night jiun show me the doll she wanted to buy..look so nice and realistic..she was never into dolls..and me too..until i saw that..it's so nice and realistic..i didn't know they could make it until like that..i like the hair and the eyes..the eyes especially..so nice and real..the clothes also nice..and that doll..el blue sapphire..comes in two colours of hair..black and blond..and comes with the makeup also..so niceeee!!but unfortunately.when she woke up at 8 something to buy online the time..it's sold out already..=.="..lol..her mood was totally spoiled..and she keep refreshing until 9am thinking that must be some error or the thing is not on sale yet and finally accept the fact that it is memang sold out..so expensive somemore..US$1,500.00.but so nice..i want also..some dolls are also really nice..if i had the money surely wanna buy also..check the el blue sapphire doll here ..so nice right? all from korea..the dolls..so realistic..i love the eyes..@.@..
*sigh*..back to work..lab report due soon..asch's conformity experiment we did.....=.="..damn asch..because of him got extra work..and can't find much bout replication of research in proquest!!! remind me y do i have to pay 30 bucks each sem for this??!!all old old research dun have...!!!1980s especially dun have..damn!have to find related stuff then..but still not easy to find..hell!dunno spend how many hours on proquest again!!and we have a 3 hour replacement class in the morning lab report is due plus winne's observation dueing the same day and poster review also...and that day class will be from 9-6..=.="..the replacement class..=.="..the night before surely no need to sleep already..somemore have to go school from 9-6..=.=!!!this is hell man..if dun go cannot..cause dr.goh is going to explain the details for our coming stress essay which will due the following week which we will have winnee's exams ....=.="....(learning bout stress now in health psych)..we are already stress now..we don't need another stressor!!no time...help!!
p.s. hardly have any time for myself..>.<..lesser gb..no time..tired..*sigh*..misses him so much..wanna see him..but i don't even have the time!!omg...all i know is college...home..go work..home..assignment..college..work..home..assignment..then back to college..work..home..assignments..i feel so dead!!and lifeless..study study study..work work work..no rest no play..sick and tired!!-miss ya-
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Monday, August 01, 2005
10:42 PM
心愿
很想你...
很想听听你的声音..
想跟你说话..
但更加想见到你..
你好吗?
你现在怎么了?
真的好久没见到你了..
怎么一点消息都没?
半年了..
我要放弃..
身心好疲累..
真的好忙..
好累..
竞然还有时间想你?
放弃个屁!
眼泪怎么还会不争气的流下?
我知道..
必须放开...
但又做不到..
我.........
生病了..
好想你..
想见到你..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
