take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
9:44 PM
the baa baa grp
can't believe they are like that..me and jiun got them a new name..the sheeps..the baa baa grp..u know why?cause all of them know how to follow the rotten shepard @ rotten joker only.have no opinion of themself..all they will say is ask"have u ask kristina?"or what did kristina say about it?..did u show kristina?WTF?well kristina @ rotten joker @ rotten shepard in the end ask back jiun what should be done..wtf man?that rotten joker suppose to be our grp leader and yet..??she's too calculative and can't do extra work..she just do her part and dah!poor jiun have to help them out..the writing grp is fucked up..they pass us (the presentation and ppt grp) the thing so DAMN LATE and expect us to do last minute work..and somemore yesterday last minute d still wanna add this add that..and all of them know how to follow what rotten joker say only,just likea bunch of sheeps..follow the shepard..baa..baaa.they never do anything much but wannna complain this and that..wanna complain bout my ppt the font..that idiot pelican dunno is it her eyes got problem,keep saying the fonts cannot see.the website also and now the ppt..while everyone else can see except her!..and she insisted on changing the font colours today!10 minutes b4 the presentation.WTF?she wanted a dull plain BORING PPT with black font..well i manage to take my stand and say 'NO!" of course jiun help out..nad didn't help that much..sekali she move all my animation in the ppt then all gone.!!!u think easy idiot..they did nothing..while we..have to labour over their crap of work for them!and u think the ppt easy to do..with all the animations inside..u see the amount of effort and time i spend!!stop complaining..mother..i slept 1 hour every night only!working on the bloody thing and the website..u wanna complain..FUCK URSELF man!!and the website she insisted the bg too complicated on her eyes..well she can fuck herself cause i'm not changing no matter how..she wants a dull simple bg!!UR TOPIC ALREADY IS VERY BORING LAGI U WANNA MAKE THE WHOLE THING BORING..LAGI PPL DUN WANNA SEE..and their writing was fucked up..they never answer the questions!!!i think they dun understand the questions..u see la..even the worst grp also had their own made plans..we?dun even have!all taken from other ppl's idea and it's more on theory..the question ask to make a plan of ourself..even the worst grp have came up with theirs..3ts la..3e la..M.A.D.E la..etc..all we have it's alike a lit. review!!!never answer the question..!!fuck them up man!all because of them me,jiun and nad marks is fucked!thanx to rotten joker also la who fucked up our poster presentation early ago!and today at first i was a lil bit nervous and haven't prepared yet,so i sounded really teruk while practising..really dunno what to say cause haven't really write down my own points..so rotten joker thinks i cannot do it..say want to have backup presenter.WTF man??she thinks she can do it ah??just because i'm not prepared la..fucker doing the ppt last night..she thought i can't do it..hmmmphhh..in the end i show her..i presented just fine..even nad and jiun b4 that keep asking me to relax and calm down..say surprisingly i didn't tremble and all..and sound just fine...so much better that the rotten joker when she presented the poster the time..she doesn't even know what she was talking about..and got the cheek to say she just came back from the camp or wat so no time to prepared that time..me leh??i prepared 1-2 hours b4 the thing ok??!fuck her la..look down on me...hmpphh..if i wants to do it,i can do it..although scared a bit also.nad keep saying remember drama that time how i can do it..and last sem mel's presentation..well guess i'm really in the process of overcoming my stagefright.anyway back to the baa baa grp..baa baa black sheep grp.stupid sheeps pull our grades down and that pelican wanna look at us like it's our fault..???!it's the writing grp= their fault!!!and that s.l wanna complain also..that one another one la..long story..sigh..jiun wrote all that in her blog..she keep asking me to get a live journal so she can add me as friend so i can read the friends only entries..now she have to put public for me to read then locked it back.probably will get one..maybe shifting from this blog.more privacy dei..only the grps u wanna let them read can read..but the public post all can read la..this is becoming not my private blog d dei,lots of ppl coming in to read.stupid blogspot dun have this system...scared one day rotten joker will come across my blog..i hope not >.<..too many stuff here can't be read dei!oh and did i mention something funny about that rotten joker?..jiun told us last sem when pelican suggested to go clubbing together after the exams or something like that,that time jiun quite close with pelican and pelican close with rotten joker,so they went and rotten joker embarassed herself dei..jiun say she went and wear a red velver gown(dinner kind),ballroom dancing can la....ppl all suppose to wear normal clubbing clothes,she go and wear a red velvet gown and turn up,wth got ppl wear like that one?so she looks embarassing la..and then she cannot dance jiun say,say she dance until very kekok and weird...and she cannot really drink also!.sigh..wasted dei..should let me drink dei. =p,sekali like last time ..goner d..=.=".start dancing nevermind,but start molesting ppl sial.....hahaha,that time was fun la..still can't forget..wait till rosh come back again..got sponser sikit...anyway today pelican was suggesting got the zouk out night(one year once one) in singapore or wat, ask rotten joker to go,jiun say rotten joker give a really weird face..hahahha..must be scared d ...Lol..and did u know rotten joker still so scared of her parents??hoe old is she d??!?mid 20s dei!!!cuz that time they went back to rotten joker's hse and they were talking bout drinking or something like that then sekali rotten joker ask them to lower their voice..scared her parents hear and know that she went clubbing and drank.=.="..like really scared that kind..!hhaha..so funny..so big d dei and still wanna scared until like that??enough of that rotten joker..spoil my blog only..=/..
oh did i mention LLS grp project is fucked !!sigh lazy to explain..but really fucked la..this sem..especially LLS,dun even bother to listen to that paul nemore d..wil lread the book..but the book also like fucked up like that..the lecturer really play a part dei..u see winnee class la,walau all do work one and she know how to teach~!!sigh..LLS mid terms was fucked up too..nvr got it back.but i knew it's teruk 1!hope i dun get a C..WTF man.my cgpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!it's now 3.5...sigh..going down..=/..next sem wanna take 3 psych subject somemore..dunno how am i gonna cope..i dunno how am i ablr to survive until now man..with oly 1 hour of sleep every single nite and can work somemore and can go school after that and work on the project till night..love starbucks these days ^.^v..main block there got a lot of these shops :kfc,mcd,pizzahut,strudels,starbucks,dunkin donuts,subway....etc..ate pizza hut that day with nad and jiun when we stayed back..andstarbucks internet connection really fast..d/load things also damn fast dei..wish i got laptop like them >_< (o well nad's laptop= kinda my also la since i'll be the one touching it..sony vios dei..nice da..=p..but damn expensive -_-.she planning to get an ipod too..=p..yay,she get d i get to use also..wish i'm a rich kid also>.<)..neway,starbucks there got couch somemore..so relax..lsat time nvr really give a damn bout it,but now i just realize starbucks is a really nice place to hangout..and the later,the more ppl..10pm ++ only more and more ppl..we left at almost 11 something that day..tired..my life have been like these recently..will either be in my college there @ main block till damn late or will be at home labouring the whole night...nad keep saying i dunno how u can still work man.. i felt like a superwoman..=.="..i'm collapsing d..cannot tahan d..phew..finally all done..now is exams..i really nearly cannot tahan d..work,school....arghHHH!!everyone else is on holidays!!!yie finish stpm d..sy also la..and yen on holiday also..everyone is on holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and oh rosh coming back soon this dec..!!!!py say wanna go sunway lagoon o.O!!i want!!wait for me!!dun u all go first..!!wait for me..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and genting too!!!why am i the only one still not on holiday yet??sigh..exams fucked up man!!help....dying here...sigh...first i better get some sleep..leg really tired today walking in heels whole day.felt weird wearing formal today.but gotten use to my slacks..comfortable lah i realize..nad say i look nice,presentable,lucky she reminded me of my shoes,if not i'm just gonna wear my "starry shoes" d.but should have wore boots today,sigh..heels kinda tiring.got noise somemore when walking..leceh la.k..zzzz time??my biologocal clock is upside down.=/.
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, November 26, 2005
3:07 AM
away
will be away for quite some time.really busy with school stuff now.exams coming too.argh..super stress.haven't been sleeping well lately too,only slept few hours a day.>.<..2 alternate days didn't sleep for 24 hrs..=.=".i'm becoming more and more like a zombie each day >.<". oh ya..been working on the website for one of my project endlessly for days d,still not done yet.sigh..still got to do the powerpoint,need to do some video editing also..and music editing . hope can manage to know how to do it.o well here's the webby:
http://geocities.com/ppg_childrenintsunami
a lot of animation inside ^_^..well..good practice for decorating my blog in future..learn more aniations ^^v..still have 2 more page to be done.will work on it..hope we'll be done soon >.<..all dued on tues,mon emergency meeting >.<,dunno whether can work or not,hope they put the meeting in the afternoon =/.damn broke now,shouldn't have go 2day also >.<..self-handicapping dei,know need to stay home do work but still wanna go out.. =p. me and nad alwiz like that.dei,never learn our leason...leg walk until tired oso 2day. =.=". zathura was not bad,danny is so cute,a bit like yen's bro,so long nvr see d still so cute the way he act.and so short for a 10year old too..hahaha.surprsingly he still remember me,he was like 4-5 yrs old the last i saw him..that time alwiz play with him one...lol.k,time to zzz.no update for a long a time.bye.
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
11:54 PM
harry potter and the goblet of fire
went to watch it yersterday actually.a bit dissapointment for those who read the book.they cut out a lot!and even some characters too!!and the plot is like going way too fast,guess they have to do it this way since they have to pack the wholo bulk of book 4 into a movie.>.<.and the actors have really grown =.=".looks uglier,especially ron and how come malfoy doesn't use to look as good as he in the first movie.hmm.>.<
haih..yesterday shouldn't have watch but still go =p..cause i really wanted to wacth my harry potter!!if i didn't go probably i can get to finish my darn assignment faster and would at least get some sleep?oh well knowing me..=p..enjoy first?>.<.it's done anyway,phew!yay,one down!i did bring my stuff to ts to do neway.yeez was in a bad mood though the whole day since the day before actually,didn't really feel like talking either cuz somehow my mood was kinda spoiled either. oh,he was there..well we so called kinda walk our way back together to the arcade.I went to toilet,as usual once i reach not too long,yeez followed but bad mood=pissed off so she walk off very fast after she's done in the toilet.haihz.so i walk back slowly,my mood was kinda spoiled too,kinda pissed off at her and was tired since slept 3 hours only + work in d morning.so when i was walking back halfway,almost reaching the junction where i have to turn left,still got a distance away, and WELL he just have to SO HAPPEN to come from the right side of the junction at that particular momet walking straight. and he stopped,and look at me.. and i slow down,wasn't really in the mood.he then turn into my road and came towards me and walk together with me,ask me why do i look so angry.not smiling..look scary he say.he ask what happen and bla bla..i say nothing la...he then ask where yeez, i say dunno,was kinda angry with her,say argue d.she was acting like an idiot neway,no offence..haihz..and then he talk crap there say u'll get more wrinkles and look older if i keep my angry face.he ask me dun la angry,i say nothing la,not angry,try to smile..haihz..it did kinda cheer me up to see him.although it's only a short distance walk, it did make my mood lighter.stupid me.i realize i still do like him.dammit.why does he sounds so nice and caring when he talk to me that time.i thought i'm not ur concern anymore.i still like the way he talks,he got this tone of voice that sound really nice one.sob....i wanna let u go but i can't.arghh,why does it have to so kebetulan everytime?not the first time d,it's a good thing?haihz..like it's fated..arghh!!.i'll put all my energy on my studies now.it's good to have assignments =.="?.lesser sleep though.have i become a nerd??o.O"..
p.s. hope orso è bene.
p.s.bro convo have change to may 13 =/....he called back that day again..sigh..kinda miss him =p
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
is it 24 hrs without sleep?
Yes..i think i have reach 24 hrs without sleep...yesterday i only slept 3 hours..and yesterday night the whole night i didn't sleep..i feel light headed now..i feel a headache coming..damn..stupid assignments!!JUST BECAUSE OF ASSIGNMENTS!!AGHHHH!!I WANT MY SLEEP!!!!!skip morning class to finish up..finally!!!FINALLY!took me how many hours to type..!DAMN ASSIGNMENT!finish writing at 6AM>!!!ARGHH!and then start typing until now i'm DONE!!YES!ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz!!HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!i'm going to faint soon..am I?i NEED MY SLEEP!!!SUPER GRUMPY NOW!!!and i have to pass up that bloody piece of assignment and i got a bloody class till 5..!!and stupid packed bus..which i have no more energy to push people..sighhh!!!headache!!i'm DYING!!ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, November 20, 2005
1:01 AM
life's a game
dunno whats wrong with me.suddenly missing you.weird.seen u not too long ago somemore.feeling moody and sad.dun ask me,i dunno why either. attended colloqium 2day,3 fucking hours,my hand write until tired d. just finish writing up al lthe reviews.still got lots to do,when am i going to start doing my LLS101 individual assignment?nad is working on the group one.not to mention we still have our PSY102,damn them, can't interview unicef,have to wait nxt week,so they can't write report and so we can't start our powerpoint.me,jiun and nad going to present.and not to mention i have to do the website alone!!our website for the project,sigh.html..css..so long never touch those,i'm really rusty here. went facial today adn replenish my supplies..damn broke now!argh!dunno..is that an ache i feel..damn why suddenly like that?suppose to think bout work only.he lost his hp again!!this time the phone + sim card kena stolen.haih..he dun take care of his things properly 1.when am i gonna see ur miscall again?and his exams..haihz..wish he would just at least do some studying,at least get a spm cert la.haih..damn regret.*sob*..missing you.i really hate this feeling.it hurts.ouch.can i plz have a 2nd chance to undo my mistakes?dun think so rite?i should learn to let u go rite?hahaha..how i wish..this is a punishment..really.treasure whatever u have now,don't take it for granted and only regret it when it's lost and gone.but then again since when do human listens?that's y they need to learn it the hard way..then they'll know..y does life have to be so complicated?sigh...miss you.all da best.
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, November 18, 2005
2:28 AM
blog anniversary
november 11..it's already one year having this blog >.<..time really flies..didn't realize it.it's also been one year that i know he have feelings towards me..lol..time really do flies.
I've came a long way.although it's only a short period to many.but even one year, i have grown and change...it's not easy to be standing here as who am i..i've gone quite some distance...along the journey,i've learned,grow,change to become who i am today.seen much more,hear much more,know much more,yet there's still a long road ahead.learn to see things in a different light,a different perspective.i've learned a lot.there's still a long way to go.as the person i am now might not be the person i should be?sigh...
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
11:36 PM
irony
HAHAHHA..just as i finish posting the previous post..i got his miscall and his msgs...isn't it ironic??like it's fated..life's irony....i dunno..i dunno..God why are you doing this to me?playing with me or what?sigh........................................wtf man?i should be doing my assignments now,instead i'm here blogging...lots to do..i'm dying!!arghh!!so many work!!assignments..exams..so little time!!stupid short sem!!I HATE YOU, ASSIGNMENTS!!!!!!I'M GETTING RID OF YOU!!!GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..@.@"...
sigh............
haih...life's really an enigma..u'll never know what'll happen..will i be able to uncover its mystery someday?
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
endless wait
although everything is back to normal..but i still feel sad thinking bout it..dunno why..it left a mark there..still couldn't believe that he did that..sigh..i really couldn't..it hurts..damn.how could he?probably all along i'm just the one couldn't let go...sob..sigh....he's having his exams now..didn't see him.message him though,i guess i'm just stupid huh?after what had happened, don't think he ever dare to message me or miscall me for a long long time anymore..what had I done?before that I still can at least have his sms and miscall but now..hahahaha..oh well..but we are fine when we see each other..not really actually..sigh...i can see he's having a hard time pretending nothing happened there also..sigh..me too?the girl use to be me..but i never really took it seriously..damn..then after all that, i wanna regret.i guess it's the regretness that i couldn't let go..it's like i want to have another chance to change everything,to un-regret.i did some things that i shouldn't have done..i regretted that.i really do.sigh..it's too late now.i have to learn to let go.i know i have to.but i can't seems to.there's so many other things out there waiting for me..and it's not like he's the only one.so many others better out there.i know,i know,i know all of these, but i just can't seems to do it.no matter there are how many more others that are better than him, the person i wanted is still him.why am i so stupid?i'm still waiting..waiting..regardless of how many people that are so much better than him passes me..all i do is just waiting for him which i knew i can never have anymore.sorry, but i guess i really have fallen for him.sorry, no matter whatever anyone do, i will still be waiting,so don't waste time on me.please...sob..i know i'm stupid...hahahha..just let me suffocate in my stupidness.
he's someone that i once have
someone i never thought i will have
someone that i never care to have
then he became someone that i wanted to have
someone that i care to have
but by then...
he's already someone i could never have
and will never have...
anymore..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
8:36 PM
evil me..tiring me too..zzz..=/
everything is fine now..sigh..back to normal..after what happened yesterday..lol..but still i don't like that gal...wasted quite a lot on stupid games because of that gal..i wanted to win her..for some strange reason..=/..she was damn cheater..she purposely bang me on daytona and the other game..nvm..i won her back..she wasn't satisfied so she kinda challenged me on the basketball game..of course i lost la..oh well at least i won her in ID..i refuse to lost to her in my map!!!back off noob!hmphh!my interest in ID is back...=p..ckin also won her in happo but akagi she made mistake la so lost to her..nvrmind got back my revenge..and he was there to see it ^_^..i want him to know i improve too..=)..oh well...it's not because of him that i don't like the gal.it's just that i don't really like her in the first place..and he also make me dun like her more la..but still and she got the cheek to say i lucky when i won her in the shooting game!!WTF man??she keep saying wahh..u so lucky..!!damn u..u think all that is luck??that is skill la fucking noob..u know how long i have been playing that 50 cent shooting game..u saw my skills?just don't wanna admit u lose say so la..=/..ckin also dun like her..that's one of the reason she battle with her also (of course using other ppl's car =p..we damn cheater borrow ppl's low level car to beat her high level..>.< )..sigh.i know i'm being really childish to wanna win her..dunno why..think again i shouldn't be doing that..it's irrational..wasted my money..and yeez was damn pissd off with me when i went away and didn't reply her miscall and then later to appear with mr.pat..sigh..cause i was damn pissed off when i came back from the toilet to see yeez and that gal playing(i stomache pain need to go toilet, btw i drop my comb onto a pile of shit >.<")..i stood behind them for like a minute..then i cannot tahan d..i felt really angry and sad too..dunno y..-_-"..i just can't face that gal that moment,wasn't ready..so i left and mr.pat follow..haihz when i finally ready and ok d..yeez was pissed off..and i got the cheek to ask her fro some coins and go play with that gal who is playing my shooting game..I wanna win her..i was nice to her..pretending only,i can if i want..i'm evil..i know..i wanna pay back..sigh and later when ckin come i totally dumped her off,ignored her..well normally i talk to ckin memang a lot of things to talk bout but i still will answer ppl's question if ppl ask me, won't ignore ppl like that.but this is totally ignored..i never even introduced.she felt stupid i guess so she walk away and pretend to watch and wanna play ID but later i continue to ignored..she lonely or wat..she came back and stand in front of me and ckin..and she say wanna go back then i soft hearted d..stupid me..pity her..so i say bye bye and wave to her..and continue to talk to ckin..purposely one,still consider ignoring her.i guess she felt stupid again...ok i know i'm bad..but i actually feel happy at that moment..sigh..i know..i admit i'm evil..this is ugly..i'm only a human also..humans are ugly..but later i wanna feel a bit guilty..out of pity i think..i definitely don't treat her as a friend..so it's out of pity..she's lonely la..she can come all the way here to watch movie alone(she live near kepong-took monorail and bus come her need about 1 hour) and then no one in the arcade seems to like her d..even he also like dun really wanna talk to her d..anyway and i think she doesn't have many friends..probably people dun like her attittude..i really dun..when playing the shooting game the time she keep saying i lucky just because she dun wanna admit lose and she wanna play those game and win you one..so the 2nd round of the shooting,she chose very hard..she thinks i will lose..damn her la.. ..hahaha..but i still win her...action!hmph!anyway happy i won her in ID ^.^V.....
anyway thing was ok d....sigh...talk to him like normal d...=)..dunno izzit ckin was there that's why only he will come and talk to me and ckin..and keep asking 3 of us to play daytona..he nothing to play already izzit..say it's his last 2 coins..-_-"..shouldn't waste it on daytona mah..can play other things..hahaha..=p..but didn't play with him in the end..wanted to want..but got ppl sit d the nice place all..>.<..so see him play..oh..and did i mention he cut his hair..=.=" ugly cut..so short like army cut only...lol..told him that and he just touch his hair grinning...=.="???hahaha..haiz..neway was glad to see him ^_^..oh and i gotten back my good luck msg..haiz..go and ask ppl i dun really know(but kinda know la,got go out b4 kinda la)..cuz dat woman too superstitious to msg me again..i can even call her because of this..because of him?haizzzz....i just wanna wish him mah..his exam on 14....
kla..i seriously need some sleep..today exam..and yesterday din really sleep..studying last minute and got dumb class on 8am 2day..then later exam then class again till 5!!!!!grrr..tiring...got one more exam on thursday!!i'm dying!!!!!!!!no time to study!!!!!tired..so tired!!zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzz..=/2molo got class at 9 ='(..then later got experiment..then later havet o rush back to work...then at nite last minute studying..='(.no time!!!!!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, November 06, 2005
4:50 PM
Irrational
sigh..been irrational lately...dunno what am i doing nemore..been in emotional turmoil...sigh...wtf am i doing??sigh..sigh..really..wtf am i doing?dunno...i've more or less stable now?LOL..my mask is not broken after all..it's getting back..sigh..wtf am i talking?not really actually..i can even go there so late..omfg??what's gotten into me?yea..i dun wanna see him but at the same time want..ouch..guess everything is ok now..?haha..at least i'm not ignored...ouch..sob...sob..i'm so useless...can't even reach ur level..the reason i continue to play ID is to at least can reach ur standard..i wanna be like you..she's above you d..i dun ask much..i just wanna be below her..at least kinda ur standard..i want to be able to stand at ur level...stand by ur side..sob..y can't i do that??soul calibur too..it's ur game..i can't even beat a stupid idiot..i'm still a fucking noob!!damn..i'm learning other characters too..useless me..thought i was not far from u..haha..who am i kidding?i'm still so far away..stand at ur level??hahaha..who am i kidding?i'm so useless...so tired of chasing your shadow..no matter how hard i tried..i still can't catch up..so tiring..i'm really tired..sigh..
dammit.. mom delete my good luck exam msg..can't even wish him now..got english one but no chinese one..how to send him?and damn that woman who refuse to send the msg again..dunno what wrong with her..merajuk again??wish her good luck for her exam also no reply..dammit!send her msg also never reply!!she doesn't even wanna pick up my call!!mahai..MERAJUK FOR COCK?I WAS IN COLLEGE BUSY THAT TIME..HOW THE FUCK U WANT ME TO TALK TO U ON THE PHONE ABOUT COMICS??damn u...want me to feel more guilty...sigh..sob..good luck to you..all the best for ur exams..do some studying la..dun come to arcade d..
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, November 04, 2005
2:40 AM
fucked up day
die die die..everyones wanna die..dun u....damn u..it sad to see u like this..i told u..sadistic..i'm a fucker that should fuck off right?yea,i know u can do what u mean..hahahhaha..yes,u do mean something to me.how u ever want me to say that?if you ever do it...guilty,pain,sad,regret..even though i wasn't there to see it..u should know what i told u that day.and yea,it hurts to see u building bricks on that stretch of road ..HAHAHAHHA..what an idiot i am.i'm more of a fucker than you..my fault...sorry.....
happy hari raya???HAHAHAHHA..SAD!MAN!FIRST FUCKING DAY OF RAYA!oh..and oh..one more fucking thing..to see him today..HAHAHA..isn't today the greatest day???i just jepoardise the friendship we had i think...ignored....it must be me..seems to have been good at losing friend these days...hahahhahaha..1,2,3,4...5..etc..all leaving..all gone.HAHAHHAHA..it's still fucking nice to see you!!"fucking nice"..hahaha....still wanna see u..HAHAHAH...dun think u have been living good either..LOL..
sad..sad..sad..what a sad day.......should have stay at home..nothing will happen...bad bad day..shouldn't have go visiting in the first place....dunno how long can i hold up..my mask is totally breaking..how long can i hold up this act??and now..like that...HAHAHAHA!
OH MAN!!LIFE IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT!!!HAHHAHA..I CAN REALLY STAND UP MAN!!hahhahahhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!chivas still better than vodka i think...hahahahahahhhaha!!!fucking great!!LOL!a portion of my meal just came out..LOL.some still stuck in my nose..can't take it?or it isn't the right way..LOL..who bothers?IT'S GREAT TO HAVE SOME SPARE AT HOME!!LOL!!LOVE YA,BRO!!
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
11:30 PM
FUCK YOU!
why are u doing this to me??u know..u know that i'm sad all these while..u know i have been in living hell all these fucking 10 months..u told her..oh and u ask her to hide that u have another one..(dunno is it true or not or u talk cock there)..very funny..and then u break up..because u r bloody confused??CONFUSED FOR FUCKS??WHAT'S THERE TO CONFUSE?GO AHEAD LIKE OTHER GALS..U ONLY TREAT ME LIKE A SIS RIGHT?NOTHING TO CONFUSE..fuck you..CONFUSED COCK?and that's y u did those things to me?send those stupid msg asking rubbish questions?giving me signs that are stupid?have feelings for me??HAHAHHA..and then now this!!!go la..go ahead...going after gals in front of me..which u like met the 2nd time??wanna be a fucker!!U WANNA BE A FUCKER!!playing with gals??damn you...are you doing these on purpose??u are an idiot..!asshole!shitter!??bastard!u have no modale..nothing and you wanna be a fucker??!!u have no looks..no money..no brains..FUCK YOU...dunno y the hell i fall for you??damn you...u think i cannot izzit?i can play around with guys too if i want..u think i dun have??wtf am i bloody waiting for you??sob..sob...u think i feel very nice to pretend in front of you..to smile and talk to you...trying my very best to treat you like a friend..it's a torture..probably u too..i dunno..but you know this and yet u still wanna do this to me..u know how hard for me to talk bout it when the moment u say dat u wanna go after dat gal in a jokingly manner..how hard for me to type the msg indirectly for you asking the gal can go after her(yeez type it but i help with the han yu pin yin)..hahaha..my mask was slipping..the pieces from my heart that i took so many effort to stick back shattered again.didn't think it's possible to think it can still break into more pieces..but it did..u took it and shattered the thousand pieces into a million pieces..WTF U DO THAT??U WERE JUST BEING A FUCKER..u weren't even serious in going after dat gal..u just wanted something to do..but still WHY U DID THAT IN FRONT OF ME!!it hurts...it hurts a lot..but i managed to hold it..but the mask is really slipping..and on dat day itself he have to teman us go down...i couldn't stand it anymore.my tears came down.he wasn't with us.he went in a restaurant to find somebody so i thought it was safe d as my mask was already slipping. was waiting for the lift..and damn he came n join us..i couldn't let him see..i had my back towards him.i quickly went in the lift without bothering it's going down or up.keep pressing the close button but they manage to get in..damn..ask yeez to cover for me..my back was towards him all the while all the way down..i even wanted to go out to other floor,cannot wipe it.it keep flowing,i dun want him to know..so when it reach LG..i just rush out go into another direction..damn..i'm acting really weird..so i kinda lie say wanna go toilet..i did..i calm myself down.pick my mask and then i'm out.it's cracking though.d gal refused him btw.i totally broke down in d car.and guess what??i thought i was safe d..and u know what??we met him out side there..when our car came out of the carpark,he was walking..damn!MOTHER FUCKING HELL..SO KEBETULAN..THE TIMING..FUCKING HELL..IS THIS A GAME?fated?i dunno did he saw me crying..yeez slow the car or did it stop?and he wave at yeez or wat i dunno..i just hold up d jacket and trying to cover my face and ask yeez to STEP ON IT!GO!dammit..and she got the cheek to only step on the pedal like seconds later..screaming like mad woman i think.omg..this is fucking embarassing and is this all ararnged by God?he want this to happen??hahahha..gift or torture?fated?hahahhaha....damn..and now i dunno waht to do..haven't been myself lately..losing appetite too..no mood to do nething..it just pains me whenever i think bout him and the scene of that day keep replaying..i feel the ache..not only that..other stuff too..dunno how to say..wtf he treat me like dat?and then now treat me like this??DUN EAT MY MUFFIN THEN..GIVE IT BACK..!!AND GIVE BACK MY MONEY!GOT THE CHEEK TO BORROW MONEY FROM ME!!hahahhahahahaha.............sob..sob...i dunno..it really hurts...the never ending tears..the never ending ache in my heart..but yet i still wanna see him..but i dunno..i really dunon how..if i can pull myself back nemore..i dun have the strength anymore..i'm so tired..i'm weak!hahaha..i stupid..cause i still love you...fucker...i wanna hate you..sob..my exams is next week..same as yours...and yet i can't study..no mood..help..ask u sto study hard..still hope that u at least will do some studying so u won't fail all.am i stupid?still care for you..hahahhahaha..it hurts..ouch...will i be able to stand up again this time??i dunno..it's so hard to act ok in front of my family..and i have to see my relatives on monday and be cheerful all day..ahhaha..it's so hard..my act is failing badly..tears drop uncontrollably..lucky manage to still pull it back and hide it...they will never know..my heart is in despair...i need to pull myself back..i know...i need to put my act again...i need my mask..it's not repaired...how am i gonna face u?i can't seems to stand up...sob..
© Enigma
0 person have hold my hands, have you?
<< Home >>
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
