take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
1:39 AM
haihz...
been out lately..lazy to blog.zzz.got tickets for genting d..=D..that day was scary went drive to kl central..was kinda lost..-___-"...and i was speeding..omg..mood wasn't that good..i just wanna step on the pedal..>_<"...and the kl jam really sux..terrible jam..after all it was a holiday..cause 25th fall on sunday so phostphone,monday holiday also....today went to u know where again.haihz..dun really wanna see the fellow..well..i guess i can't be bother d now..dun care..not giving a damn anymore..but it still kinda pissed me off to see him..=.="...but well i guess i'm calming down..not that bad d..ahh..whatever la..fuck him off la.sigh..didn't wanna go at first cuz got a feeling "he" won't come..he didn't actually..but i guess he came to leave with yean n gf which is his pet sis =.="?..yean was here today..so was the bitch..he help us balas dendam d..and i still can't understnad them as couples..=.="..they can still hug and u know la do those stuff in public =.="..in arcade more appropriately in front of ppl...=.="..dun understand..neway he came short while n leave..to pick up yean?..sigh..well at least he's good enough to come over n say hi to us then leave...>_<..yeez was playing,he stand beside me =p..sigh.dun wan tok about it d.well it's a good thing i dun use to miss him and think about him as much as i do...hahahhaz..too tired d maybe?(body aching everyday)..or am i starting to know how to let go..?it's gonna be one year d after next month..sigh..but still ='(.....=.="..all i can say is haihzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....zzzzzz..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
oh..rosh is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nad is back from japan!!!!!!!!!!!went party out tonite at zouk..she say got function..usual la she..that woman.lol..still no reply from jiun yet whether she joining us on 31st..sigh..booked hotel and reserved table d..hopefull can open bottle!!that day christmas eve tried vodka lime it was nice..!i was hoping to open vodka bottle!!jiun say it's nice and she love it..@_@...!i wanna get drunk again!!!yea!!!!!=p
© Enigma
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Monday, December 26, 2005
3:31 AM
plz used me and recycle after u r done.does i have a fucking sign that says that?
I feel like I’ve been used.wtf is wrong with this ppl.if they want something go get themselves.no..u know all these idiots..all they know is to used me to get to the gal they want.i feel like a batu loncatan..i’m just a a batu loncatan..u know how does it feels?it’s just a thing u used to get what u want and then after that throw it away..dahla waste my msg asking and toking bout her.i know u want to korek maklumat..but why don’t u go ask her straight?plz dun waste my msg.and once he get to her d..dun even wanna chat with me d la.and I’m used as an opening topic..oh man..used!i hate to be a thing that is to be used.that’s is one of the reason I beginning to hate the ID world..a lot of ppl just used me to get to know my pro fren.ya..my pro fren..they dun give a damn about me actually..but cuz I have a pro fren there..they have to layan me and instead some even used me to get to know her.i really hate this feeling.in fact I suspect a few like her too.…I just didn’t want to tell her cuz I really dun want to talk about it and I really really hate this feeling.i’m not a thing u used to step on to get to get to another person ok..?stepped on..how does that feel?used!how does it feel?then the next step these idiots will do is ask to go somewhere or whatever with me along of course..u know why?because I have to be there..i’m their batu loncatan..which most of the time I feel damn fucking bored and I actually feel like shit.but I can’t really tell it.i really can’t stand this feeling anymore..once again..there’s another guy using me as a batu loncatan to get to her.can these idiots just do it themselves without using me?if u want me to get out of the way ..fine I will..but plz do not use me! I hate the ppl there..i really do..i;m not some thing u stepped on ok?i prefer going to a quiet place where’s there’s nobody..but o well..sooner or later everyone will know how pro is she and once again I’ll be used,so it end up the same.feel like quiting ID..one of the reason after all that I still play is because of him..but he’s not playing that much anymore either.but it’s like the only thing that link me to him is ID..kinda in a way.i know I really should let him go..i really trying.currently I failed to do so..sob.. he’s immature I know..not ready for love most probably..but I dunno why I still have feelings for him.i can’t seems to control that!it’s hard for me to get out of it for some strange reason once I’ve fallen for him.well,probably the day I really quit ID is the day where I can really let him go.i dunno..i still misses him from time to time..i still feel sad about what happened and damn regret.not easy at all.i want my answer.i want another chance.haihz..i went today becuz of him also la..if not I go home sleep d la.so tired d after going mall wit sarah,playing the theme park look alike there..darn ride..no proper safety measure..so scary..nearly died..i nearly fly off..but it was fun in a way..bumper car was fun too.i somehow know he will be there 1.although it was a short while only a glimpse of him,reach there quite late..it makes me feel weird.i dunno what I feel also.seeing him makes my tiredness go away for a moment.he saw me,turned and stick his tongue out at me..lol..cute?sigh.was really glad he msg me the day b4..in English..lol.he gotten his new phone d.his English improve a bit la.sigh.i really dun wanna be a batu loncatan nemore.i was kinda bored at pizza hut yesterday..all they tok about is ID..i beginning to lose interest.i dun want to be a thing which to be stepped on and used!i will always be under yeez shadow In the ID world..ppl dun even know or respect me..or they know is to used me to get to my her.i’m sick of being batu loncatan.dun feel like going drinking with those ppl anymore.for all u know they dun even want me there..but have to cuz I’m yeez fren.no wonder so good la..belanja somemore..ask ppl to come etc sumore cuz he wants her to be there wat.i’m just an thing to be used so she will be there.IDIOTS..I NOT A THING TO BE USED!NOT TO BE STEPPED ON!NOT BATU LONCATAN!occasionnally nvm..but NO..IT’S ALWAYS..!I HATE THIS.!FUCK U ALL!dun feel like seeing these ppl nemore.sigh..but dun think I be quiting it anytime soon..after all I still like and care for him.sigh..still gotta see these idiots for some time.but I felt like shit everytime I know I’ve been used as a batu loncatan..felt kinda stabbed.it’s like the feeling of used.dammit.sila gunakan say untuk mencapai matlamat anda dan buang selepas guna.i should really hang a sign on my neck saying that.
© Enigma
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
4:19 AM
holiday life
lol..where to start?been enjoying my holidays so far.nice..good to not having to work=p unlike some ppl..hahaha..sch reopening soon.='(..sigh.still haven't go genting,lagoon,redbox and drinking yet!today actually wanna go redbox 1..yen la..cancel pula..py also another 1..gek sam talk to her.got lots of problem!and she find job also want me help her find!wtf?and then wanna ask a lot of question.told her to try pathlab.sigh.when can i go to those places??!!arghh!i want!2molo going orphanage to spend time with the children there..that day me n yen drove round to a few and finally settle on this one.we actually got 5..2 shifted..1 nobody in..1 dun dare to go in cuz look indian-ish type..so left this one..phew..wasted so many petrol..i bring the pj map along of course..lol..sitting beside her being her navigator..=.="..quite bad..u know la my sense of direction..haha..but we manage to go to those places...i realize all this shelters all in very quiet areas and a lot of dead ends one.quite kampung kind..poor area?sigh.yen did a lot of three point turn..LOL.=p.i keep getting her in the wrong direction =.=".so we called this and make appoinment.we going 2molo loh.spend already almost 40 bucks on sweets and junk food!! at first thought a lot of kids we going to help..mana tau this shelter we go one..got only 17 kids??!so we packing those stuff in packets and giving out to them.and already thought of some games to play with them.o well..doing charity =).sigh..better stop now.need to wake u early to have breakfast in state =D.i miss the food there.
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fate
it is not i wanna know already..but why must god happen to let me know that he may still have feelings for me....really..all these while..can't be said it's not natural..kinda fated...if not i won't even be able to know all the stuff even though i korek or whatever...if i have no jodoh in knowing certain things..no matter how hard i search for the things i also won't get what i been searching..i mean surely there's a reason behind all these that i knew all these thing...i didn't do anything d lately..did i?NO!and i'm trying to let him go d althought failed to..but at that moment..so kebetulan i have to be standing there.so kebetulan that he have to talk so loud.i'm not eavesdropping ok..i didn't even bother to listen..but it just went in my ears..so kebetulan it must be related to him.. what u call all this?not fate?not natural?this is natural!i didn't expect to know anything d ok..i want out!u think i'm not in torture izzit?well then at that precise moment where i think of letting him go d..god must put back my hope..is this fate i really wonder?does this means things haven't really end yet?sigh..anyway i'll be cheating myself if i say i letting him go..cause i know i still can't!i...i.....i still have feelings towards him.damn.how can i like a guy that long?fuck!next month then it'll be one whole year d!one whole fucking year!dammit!and i'm still like that!
sob..and all he does is hurt me again and again..and yet i'm still so stupid....he can go with other gals just like that..sigh..i can't..althought yes i have fishes..but do u see me meeting those fishes?NO!i don't..i dun send them stupid sms unless they send me first.at least i won't go round playing with guys..fucker..play also not really teruk one..u?dunno how many gf u got there la after me.hahaha...u so desperate for love izzit?idiot.but in the end break up!hahahaha...dunno u really have feelings for them or not.u just dun bother.u just playing a fool.damn u.
sigh.....i dunno.if i'm not mistaken from the phone call...u still have feelings for me...but even it's true..hahaha..dun think u will do anything about it.well..what more can i ask..it's enough i got my answer rite?NO..i'm lying to myself again...not enought..i really regret what i did...i want another chance i guess...just one last chance..sigh.maybe i really should let u go and try go with another guy?i dunno...i dun want....i dun wanna hurt ppl..anyway someone's giving up d..leaving d.hahahaha...sigh..but glad to know what i accidentaly get to know.sigh.did i mention rikku came over to me that day also and kacau me playing shooting game..i dun really know him..yeez know him more..does this means something..maybe i just think too much..sigh..but i really din hear wrongly the phone call.sigh..i hate this.
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dang it!
just because pat knows the add of my blog then i gotta change the whole thing.dammit.he got the cheek to read every of my post just because he wanted to know something about yeez.WTF man?i mean i still do need some privacy..=.="..althought he's my pet bro and all..but still..haihz..i just dunno..probably i just dun like him reading so much of my thoughts..>_<".he got back with yeez d.she giving him one last try..hope they will last.but he's such a boring guy=.="..and a stick!!!i mean yea he is a nice guy and all but he's so unromantic!!omg..how many times i have to hint him??i can't go on hinting him how to act and stuff all the while.yeez is ur gf..do la something about it.ask him to spend more time with her already since the relationship is quite unstable but instead he busy with his work there..wtf..which he don't even get paid!sigh..how to hint to him that french kiss not suppose to be wet after it?sigh..hard man!and dun always go the same place la..boring..bring her to somewhere special and new..dun do the same thing..and where got guys can't go out at night one??and on special occasions such as xmas..and new year eve..omfg..u stay at home??suppose to be out with gf or wat rite!!wtf man..how u want me to hint..sigh...being a guy should know all these stuff i thought..sigh.he's like a wood!argh!but not completely wood..he know some stuff but he's just...i dunno wat to say..B-O-R-I-N-G??!and where got guys dress until like that 1?u ah pek d meh..wear that kind of shirt and slacks.sigh..told him about that d.he say he'll change.diet also.hinted already.sigh..what else..?oh gawd..i feel like slapping him up and ask why are u such a wood??sigh.............
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Monday, December 19, 2005
10:01 PM
him
sigh..today went again..i guess part of it is cause i wanna see him gua..dunno la..part of it is to watch movie also..i wanna watch perhaps love leh...yikess..but yeez n pat watch d..oh did i mention they are back together d =p..hahhaaz..anyway..part of the reason we cannot get the tickets also cause i woke up late..=p..haha..and still wanna make so much noise..muahhahaha..=p..i bank in my cheque d..finally ^.^v..$$$$$$..but so little..='(..sigh..no money..B-R-O-K-E!!!sigh..anyway in the end we have to watch a stupid show =.="....SPL..my god...sigh....no many ppl watch..sigh..$$$ gone...well but at least he came..=p..dunno la....i try not to think of him in that kind of way d..trying to really treat his as a friend..really wanna try to let go of him..sigh..but why everytime i decided to do so then surely i must find out something that give me back my hope..wtf man...arghhhhhhhhhhh..dunno..shouldn't have heard yean's phone call ..i dunno izzit or not..fuck man..but from what i heard and my sixth sense i feel that's it..mother dammit!!!i hate my stupid 95% so called idiot sixth sense which yeez also experienced b4 d =p..hahahhaha...she called it my stupid 6th sense..which turn out to work most of the time..nad also experienced b4..hahhahahha..that's why i call it 95% 6th sense..LOL..but really i duno la..it may not be true also..but after the call,which got mention ask the fellow to come up faster..then later he appear pula..dunno la..got a feeling loh that it's him on the other line..he's at home that time..damn man.i might be wrong maybe?but this bugging feeling..dunno la..f@#$% my 6th sense la..dammit!sometimes i really hate it.!!argghhh!y is he doing this to me??sekejap say like sekejap dun..then sekejap like again..WTF..stupid immature idiot!y i fall for him in the first place..this is stupid,i should be together with another rite now instead wtf i dun want..wtf WTF??!
dunno..really dunno anymore!!!damn..and i think he caught me looking at him..wtf..he looking also..damn man..hate this..what is this??dunno..arghhhhhhhhh....and for some weird reason...i keep thinking about timothy =.="..whenever mentioning "leng cai"..his nice body figure and smooth skin..and nice face..=.="..omg i have a crush on him??but he's so young..by 6 years i think..hmm..or was it 5 years..dunno.!!!i guess i just admire him..lol..been working with him these few weeks..that's y la..whenever no one the time,all go class..left me n him n problem kid in the library..lol..so i get to know him a bit more..i figure he may be smart too..eh..perfect guy la..if he's a bit older..hahhahhaa..i gues i just admire him..LOL...it'll passed it just a stupid admiration/crush/factuation..LOL..after all haihzz..the on i have feelings for is still him rite??dammit...hopeless me..fark it..
oh..ah loong didi came today..haizz..skinnier again...dunno why i see him each time he get skinnier and better looking..he's jut plain cute..hahaha=p..my cute didi..i tocuh his face again..muahahahha..to feel is it as smooth as it use too..=p..his hair also..just canot tahan sometime..well after all he's my so called small bro neway..=p..a bit of touching won't hurt..>_<"..he's still so cute..he cut his hair until like "so chai" like that =.="..no wonder wear cap cover la..and then wanan act like "so chai" like that..funny la..well at least get to talk a bit when we walk back together to lower ground..he studying next year..enrol in school d^.^v..haihz..and dunno change how many gf..2 gfs d..this one scary one..too possesive d..haihz..but he also change d la..dye hair somemore..but hair too shor t can't really see..LOL..but i guess he's still the gentle ah loong i know..just not the "so good boy" kind ah loong gua..dunno la >.<..was glad to see him neway..sigh..
p.s.everyone going away or either busy..yen going hong kong d..nad went to japan.jiun go singapore with bf...py working..hx working..other ppl all also busy spending their hols..sigh..all my plans gone man...sigh..
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, December 17, 2005
10:58 PM
2103
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© Enigma
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
wtf is wrong with me
stupid diarhea!must be eat the seafood at the farewell lunch and the food at the xmas party.whole nite didn't slp well cuz keep going toilet..dammit.sick?sigh..dunno y miss him so much..this is depressing..all of sudden..wtf is wrong with me?sob..should have went.dun wanna think bout u.get off..sob..get off..no work anymore..no school..how to keep myself busy??prob that's y only like that..haihz gotta find something to do soon..all i can do now is watch tv and play game so i won't think so much.sigh..i hate this.regret.shouldn't have done...i really hate this feeling,i really do.i got jobs but dun wanna work..though i should rest n enjoy myself the remaining of 2 weeks.secret recipe wanna interview and hire d..then i say dun want go d.pathlab also ok d one..mom's friend help,she say if i wanna work 2 weeks can..she'll help..but after i fill in the form everything d..dun want d..sat have to work leh.sigh..shoul have accept the job so i wouldn't be at home thinking uneccesarry stuff.depressing...i want assignments..give me assignments now!!dammit!!i want money!!give me money now so i can play play and play everyday without thinking!!DAMMIT!y?y?WHY?fucker stop torturing me..i just wanna know!hahahaha..11 months d!!one more month and it'll be 1 year!!hahahaha..sob..
I WANNA GO GENTING,LAGOON,REDBOX,DRINKING..!!!!DAMMIT..PLAN PLAN PLAN....AND STILL NOT YET!!!WTF FASTER LA PPL..!!NO MONEY!!ROB SOMEONE!I DUN CARE..GIVE ME MONEY!ARGHHHH..sob..
© Enigma
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
leaving
so sad..farewell lunch..boss leaving..she's really a good boss..i'm willing to even work overtime without pay..lolz..i'll miss the kids...no more molesting..=/..lolz..touching their faces..i've learn a lot too..lolz...i realize i have another kind of voice when i talk to kids =.="....hahahha..a more gentle voice..weird...LOL..but i'm gonna miss her..and timothy the leng cai..=p....we did play "chor dai di" b4 lunch..waiting for ppl to go home the time....althought we lost..=/they cheat!!boys vs gals..=/..ah well..he's gonna grow up to be one heartbreaker..=p..nice body figure..someone also say he got perfect body figure...muahhahah...he got nice fair skin too..hmm..why i keep mentioning him.>_<..hahhahaha..anyway..i still prefer boss..='(...still really dun like the new boss..haihz..i guess i grew fond of old boss d..she's really nice..dun even scold me even though i make a lot of mistake..=.="..knowing me n my clumsiness..she'll just encourage me to do better nxt time >_<..and i know sometimes i do things really slow also..>_<..that's y i say she's a good boss..and she really trust ppl...she given me full trust that makes me feel i have to work for her..i dunno how to explain la..i feel flexible n easy working with her..sigh..sad she leaving..gonna miss u..
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, December 15, 2005
10:44 PM
放弃..?
愛上一ㄍ人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害
放棄一ㄍ人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎
珍惜身旁的每一ㄍ人,不要等到失去了
才瞭解到遺憾.和後悔是如此的痛苦....
为何要这样子对待 我？为什么？也许是我自己笨, 还傻傻的以为事情会这样发生下去, 但是 一 切 都不如我所愿。一次又一次的为他心痛, 那颗心痛了又痛, 已经伤痕累累。只冤自己傻, 爱上了不该爱的人。告诉自己一定要放弃他, 他不值得我爱，不值的我等待，但是我依然傻傻的继续等他。心真的很累，我不想再这样下去, 不想。。不想。。不想如何才能不再那么辛苦。。你是如此的不成熟，一次又一次的在玩我。。可是我不是更傻吗，竞然让你玩？好累啊。。。好後悔。。haihz..
sob..='(..cannot get to see u again cause of farewell lunch..='(..later got christmas party..dunno y..miss u..didn't really think bout u d..dun wanna think bout u..had so much on my mind lately..='(..dunno y suddenly miss u..haihzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
© Enigma
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take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
sick
was sick yesterday.diarrhea..been in and out of the toilet.omg..so pain.shit until pain and no energy d.haih because of my stupid stomach(dunno food poisoning or wat) then cannot go ts d.haihzz..cannot see him.=(..dunno la..kinda miss him.weird.dun wanna think bout u.haihz
© Enigma
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WTF?
i feel stabbed!!i can't believe this..she say i stingy??dahla..she say i nvr sincere in thanking her for tumpang-ing me??fine..say i ambil kisah small small things??WTF..i feel i've just been stab..her mom thinks that way of me..WTF?just because she ask me along for the job..eh..u think i really need that job ah?the reason i go is because i teman u ok?u sendiri dun dare to go along then ask me..and then her mom say what also must ask me if there's anything good say i damn ambil kisah..somemore tumpang me so many times d..not sincere in thanking also..WTF??eh..she dun dare to go alone ok??WTF..i nvr ask her to wait for me and ask me go along this n that..WTF?if i ambil kisah..u think i would help her find job??ask other job for her?stay up late to help her write her fucking resume..i didn't even say anything,now u say me like that??WTF man!I also got help a in other things..ok..i help her becuz she's my friend..u say i ambil kisah small matter??WTF..?dammit..just feel kinda angry.
haihz..dunno la..she cried.her mom scold,fuck her mom la..she started crapping there d in her msg,so got really worried..haihzzzzz...dun understand,suppose to be angry at her but in the end got worried bout her n call.she say she know most of her fault also la simply say things there to her mom..i ask her dun think bout me d,whatever u have go dun ask me along.one prob is she too scared to be alone d.haihz..told her to be more independent d.dammit..got bad impression d!!her mom there scared her sis getting the job the probability will be low that's y la dun like me go interview for the job,she also not going d.wtf man?i mean job is the fellow wanna hire who then who la..where got ppl give chance one..dun go for interview means she will get the job izzit?WTF man?nxt time how she gonna work?the mom also another idiot la..dammn her la.if i so ambil kisah small things.u think i wanna go fetch her..and waste my time go for that stupid job??idiot.i can't beleive this!
© Enigma
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
2:09 AM
job!
job job job!!money money..money!!!!!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!boss leaving..='(..sad..new boss?=.="...sigh...bought her farewell gift d!^_^....sigh..body aching like hell today..dunno izzit yesterday after badminton then go 1 u..=.="..whole body aching and PAIN!!ouch..and today whole day no rest..OMG!tired...finally done with py's and my resume...god..sigh..oh..i bought 3 clothes yesterday including one sweater!!!!!my sweater!!yay finally i got another sweater..it's also blue clolour but this one dark blue..=p!k.update next time.lazy.slp!sigh..having prob with "her" again..sigh..dunno how..feeling guilty..arghhhh!i really can't stand her d..dunno y..HAIZ!am i a bad friend?she borrow lots of my comics =.="..sigh..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Thursday, December 08, 2005
9:59 PM
sigh..?
lol.end up in ts today.tired(slept 2.30am last nite).just a brief post here cuz lazy to write.and i'm so addicted to online games now..especially this new game silkroad online i've been playing..O_O!so i'm rushing off to play my game now..o2jam first lol..gunbound is like so long nvr play d =.="..wanna raise level but lazy..concentrate more on silkroad online..LOL..a short while of 02jam then go silkroad!!!anyway oh..ts got quite a lot of new game..=/they change the old games..the war shooting game change d to another type that look similar and now it's 1.50..wtf??and got the strategy like game which use card(like trading card) and put on machine and u move the card and the screen will move also..dunno how to explain..looks damn nice but damn expensive..to buy the starter pack dunno how many 10++ and then 6 bucks per game!WTF??i can't afford if not will try to play d!especially now i am damn broke,working account no money d and i brought 20 bucks to ts today to survive.omg.come back empty,got debts in fact =.=".and then got the maximum tune game which they have also,nice also,but expensive..like ID kind..use card system but 2 bucks per game,card 4 bucks...lol..sega(ID) and naomi fighting for business??but heard pat say sogo cheaper 1 buck but eng version.oh and i saw the card too.nice.saw his card too =.=".yea he came today =.=".can't be bother actually,tired..but then again..haihz.as usual glad to see him?=.="??eh?dunno.wasn't expecting to see him.well,he came and say hi to us when he come,he hairs looks kinda long d,=.="i like the shorter kinda stand-up hairstyle more.neway yea..he play that new game and he like rich only..idiot like got so rich only..play this and play that..play that strategy game also..omg..then later i ask,he say friend belanja or what..=/.haihz..at least we r in talking terms??but dunno la..everytime i ask him a question related to him he like malu to answer and smile smile there and after that din answer then go and turn to talk to other ppl.idiot sial.like ask him exam over or not.din really answer and then wanna talk to yeez or whoever.donkey,ask him things he won't tell me one..he rather tell yeez.haihz....it's a normal question ok..being friends cannot ask u exam over already izzit?dun dare to ask one actually..lolz..well anyway i guess he the same also..if he ask questions about me..i will act like an idiot also,will answer something else and then later wanna pretend tok to other ppl.dunno y..everytime talk to him..cannot think of anything but know there's a lot to say one.but can't get a single word out and instead rubbish and crap came out.wtf man?well at least better than keeping quiet.anyway mostly we talk also we talk crap one..dunno y..wanna talk to him but will end up asking crap and talking crap.wtf?well,he call me over and ask me y yeez so angry like that..so i end up being beside him later when he helping a noob playing,and yeez was playing that time..then he finish d..then he call me and i bent down so close to him..haihzz..then talk crap..say he scared yeez angry all..see told u..we talk crap most of the time..lol..but was so close to him...talking to each other..damn man.the feelings still there..thought to try to let it go d..haihzz..got a few times i dunno la..when i stand beside yeez when yeez playing he must stand beside me for fucks..dunno la..lol..ckin call him a gorilla..and pat king kong today also..laugh like hell..funny la..gorilla and king kong.and he there look so blur pula.dunno la..then later b4 wanna go home d the time..i challenge a noob with our dc,yeez say i play..i go n choose akina =.="..he ask why i choose that..i say dunno..i also dunno..i just wanna practise akina??hahaha..then mana tau the other side change player..to a fat guy(his so called friend also)..scared d so let yeez play..but steering got prob.so he damn funny he go over to the fat guy side and then go and kacau(we never ask him to do anything dei).funny la..i standing from side there can see..he hold his can drink la block the view la...then dunno do what la,wave his hand la..etc then come back and tell us kacau d but he see yeez still haven't got in front so he went and kacau again..funny la..kacau the guy until lose d..hahhaa..funny la..then later the extra round yeez choose outbound TA let me play one then he wanna play also.was actually thinking of playing myself but then suddenly change mind,last minute lucky got up in time and he sat down..phew..he wanna break yeez time there..lol..that's one of the reason i got up also..possible can have another of his time in our car wat.haihzz..but then he make mistake d..got one part the gear went down one extra gear position.haih..wasted..stupid gear?wanna see his time also..>.<.haihzz..then later wanna leave d..he ask who driving..i say yeez =/.he ask me how come dun drive..>.<..he there say me scaredy cat dun dare to drive..bla bla bla..give excuses for not driving..bla bla..crapping..i wanna say a whole lot of something else one but in the end crap came out also..dunno what was i talking..dunno la..everytime like that..wtf?he ask question then i look at him only..then dunno wat to say d..dammit.wtf is this?i know i'm a person who craps a lot but not until like that..wanna ask him a whole lot of questions but dun dare..LOL.sigh...sometimes i dunno why i will worry for him..wtf?what he gonna do after this?his spm like that?retaking or wat?working?wat job?his english although a bit improve..still..english is kinda important..it's stil lan international language..how he gonna survive?feel like giving him english lesson..damn man.i mean since i did kinda broke my promise of teaching him english tution b4 his spm.fell guilty...he did kinda ask for english tution when we still together..but then after that haihzz..but i still wanna give him tuition one b4 his spm but how u want me to say it out.dammit..wtf i worry so much bout it?!fuck it la..dammit.sigh.arghhhhhhhhhhhh....sob.well at least he did take the initiative to talk to me d.can u consider that a good thing?haihzzz..what else can i say besides a sigh?SIGH!....
oh btw today saw ah loong..finally so long nvr see him d..skinny d!!OMG..he look different d..well at least he's eating d...no more losing appetite?dunno how he and his gf doing?sekali change gf again?and he going school or wat?what he doing now?is he doing well?so many question to ask but then later he gone d.wanna ask him did he change his number again also can't.damn..so fast gone d.did he receive my birthday wish msg in the first place =.="??sigh....the good old ah loong i knew those days is gone..he really change a lot..and u know with those bad influence,the crowd he mix with..haihzz..the once cute nice ah loong is gone ='(..but not completely though.hope he still have his nice and gentle character inside him,but his "proudness" must change la..haihzz..dunno him..easily influence..his family like that..of course la easily influence by the wrong crowd..seldom see him and hear from him nemore d.='(..last time at least still got msg once in a while, now =.="dun even know his number change d or wat..for all u know one day he'll forget me as his pet sis also..sigh.but did manage to touch his face..no more meat d =/..but still cute..and nice to touch..>.<..haihzz..y do he have to change to the new ah loong..sad..hope he won't turn bad..=/.
ohhh..sunway lagoon plan cancel =/..py no money to go.end up watching movie.wtf..well as long as still got genting plan.anyway going singing also..=D..first time lol.ohhh..and a lot of nice movie coming out..so many movies to watch @.@.got horro movie also!!.a bit jelat with watching movies now.=.=".and broke also!!cuz i'm taking my pay one shot in dec.boss leaving d..new boss taking over.may cut pay.talk to her that day.grrrrrrrrrrrrr..me and my stupid mouth!dammit!
ohh..and rosh is coming back soon..idiot never change..hahahhaha..rosh rosh..the good ol' times..hope we can have more fun this time..XD.graduate d that donkey..convo next year march.wow..faster than my bro's one LOL.nad going japan next week for 5 or izzit 6 days for holidays..she damn happy..hahaha.
OMG..11.23pm d..!and i haven't play any of my games!!WTF!noooooooooooooo..kla..i need to go play my games dei.2molo need to wake uo early for work then going straight out with yen n py.tiring.sat can rest!!^.^v.k,byezz..till nxt time.
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YAY!wheeeeeeeee.....!
yay..LOL..so long never post in my blog d.was too lazy!!finally it's OVER!!OVER!!HOLIDAYS HERE I COME!!!!!!wheeee..yesterday last day d.sigh.know brendan's class grades d!DAMMIT!MOTHER FUCKER ..just because i never go for that 2nd tutorial which got assignment to do in class I MISS OUT MY 15 % WHICH COST ME AN "A"..dammit!if i g, i get A d..now i have to settle for a "B+"..FOR NO REASON.just because that day dunno do what assignment the nite b4 so too tired d we decided 2 skip that tutorial and din go and fucker how i know got assignment!!unklucky!my sleep cost me an "A"!!!FUCKING HELL!FUCK MY SLEEP!at least A- also not that bad but WTF?a lot of ppl get A in brendan class..damn..nad getting A- cuz my finals was bad..i make a lot of stupid mistake..LAST MINUTE LA + TOO SLEEPY D!every nite 1 hour!!i keep sleeping in my exams..sleep then wake up then do..then sleep..then do..OMG,I DUNNO HOW I DO MY EXAMS ONE..sigh..dun understand..this is gonna be a lesson for me..no more LAST MINUTE!WE WILL TURN OVER A NEW LEAF NEXT SEM!(ya rite..dunno true or not..from the day i started college been telling myself no more last minute work and study and yet until today still..???)cannot la..MUST!must study everyday!cognitive psych die sial..taking 3 psych subjects + lan =4 subjects next sem..dunno how.whatever la..wait till the time comes.tired of college..i need a break from work,assignment and exams..fuck it la!!it's over!yay..i feel so relieve finally it's over..i wanna relax and grow fat this holiday.scary man,yesterday nad say i look so damn skinny and damn pale,like wanan die like that,scared me to death,once i reach home i quickly wieight myself..phew..well it still 38kg,lucky nvr go down.face like shit,1 hour slp every nite u think?but weight cannot go back to my 40-41kg d..='(..i wanna grow fat!!i eat lunch everyday u kn0w!!BROKE D!
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0 person have hold my hands, have you?
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hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
