...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
12:22 AM
not ready for love?
yes..at this point i just realize..maybe i'm just not ready for love..yea..i dun really know what i want actually..true....how could my heart just change..i always thought it was him that i love most..all the way many others came along..but my heart did not shake..i mean of course i enjoy the attention and all..but i know all along that the one i think most was him..and then he have to came along..damn..he..who might not even real...dammit...how could i possibly fall for such a person...and i know he's a baddie...sure got lots of gal..and dun think he ever get over his ex yet.i know u r sad la..haihz..haihz..how could u know i'm sad too?how could u see through me that easily..damn...but i feel the pain...damn..how could a person like that hurt me?it may be just a pinch but it brought along sadness..and dissapointment..hmm..could this been possibly so called in love?but i know you are just probably playing around..haha..until to this point i realize... dunno wat is this..i miss you...but i know it's impossible..i feel sad..yet i feel happy too..i feel worry...yet i feel calm too...what is this..u messing me up..damn u..but after much thought..i think it might be me..the problem..i may not be ready..i dun even know how to diferentiate..true and false..crush or love?or that i'm just seeking for comfort cuz i have not truly over him yet..i'm just finding a piece of wood to hang onto in the midst of sea..so to hide my sadness..my hurt..so that i can convinve myself that he is just a past...and idiot that is a past..if he's just a past why do i still feel so much resentment and anger?and yet still care for him at the same time...yes..i might be just running away from the problem and not facing it..before this i admit i was tempted to just simply grab a wood and hang onto but i didn't..i let it go..i dun wanna hurt anyone..i keep my distance away...lol..but i can't denied the fact that i was really tempted to do it..this is the same case...but i accepted it in a way cause probably i know it won't be a real-life everyday thingy..as we have the distance problem and so and so...sigh..what have i done?i'm just playing a fool and deepening my wounds am i?i'm immature...i'm just not ready..but i can't stop myself from doing it....sigh..i don't even know my real feelings anymore now..sigh..is it possible to have feelings for many different people at the same time..means i'm immature ain't i?i dun even know if those feelings are real anymore..i just don't wanna know and don't wanna think about it anymore...i will go on living like this...but will not spend any more time searching for the answer...or any more effort on these...don't wanna care...money and study and fun is my pirority now..fuck love...fuck relationships..who needs them anyway...must love cause so much pain?..no matter..i still have friend's and family love...so many other things in life...sigh..i'm really sick and tired..
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
