take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, March 30, 2006
4:56 PM
overseas working experience
if all things work well,i may be going to US two times.hahaha.going to the place to find out more on thursday.if it works..3 of us will be going.dun wanna say much here first.hope it goes well.it'll be a good experience and it definetely look good in the CV in future.it'll be fun to live n work with nad and jiun too.LOL..4 months..gonna miss one short sem but it's only 1 or 2 subjects.plz..let it work out...sigh parents...all things not confirm yet.dunno.
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brain overload
i have come to the point where my brain have overwork..even though with one night enough of sleep after so many days i feel brain dead.my brain is stuck.i cannot process anything,very slow in absorbing things..omg.no time for rest.sigh.o well,mc assignment on the way..done some research..finally got an idea on what to do.damn next week presentation n due,weekend must be done.stress.scared.worry.tired.after this have to start on the research proposal for winnee class.no rest.exam dockets out.sigh.jiun really going otago,new zealand..well at least 90% confirm ='( gonna miss her.next year only go if really going.now up to her only,her family all no prob.she say have to get herself a full tarot reading,but no time to do it.LOL..take up few hours..but her brief reading say if she go she will be very susah and susah life but in the end she will come out sucessful and great achievement and she can be proud of it.if she stay here,easy life but she will become proud of her achievement which in ppl's eyes are not that great.dunno..sigh.if she go,it's back to me and nad again.and nobody to tell us about this spiritual kinda stuff anymore =/..last time she learn from the those ppl one.. -.-' a short while la...last time she use to practice this stuff..but stop d la few years back.can summon things out somemore..cute la according to her the fairies..white magic..?..o well,it's actually up to u whether to believe or not these things..haihz..wat am i talking...zzz
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006
9:59 PM
haihz..living life like zombie
dahla zzz everywhere and in class..today that yap..our mc teacher ask me which program i'm from..oh shit dei....dun tell me i blacklisted d...damn susah to keep awake dei...i cannot tahan...haihz..this weekend definitely cannot go out!A BIG NO!really have to stay home..if not my as well take my head or just kill me..cuz i my as well be dead..sleeping everywhere dah la..now i keep losing things..my pencil..rubber..losing one by one..dammit man..can even nearly lose my pencil box..wtf..i can't go on living like this..i'm like half awake going through the days..damn..i need sleep and rest T_T..but not until end of april..this is it..the WAR month!argh!FIGHT TO THE END!WILL I SURVIVE?SIGH..STAY TUNE..not gonna update for long time..
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
8:31 PM
zzz
been goingthrough the days like zombie..sleeping in class too..almost every class..sigh..with my mouth wide open..lecturer staring d..-.-"..i sit in front somemore..i'm going to be well known for sleeping in class among the lecturers d la..haihzz..damn worry..kenot do..shit...no time..i need more time...
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Thursday, March 23, 2006
7:44 PM
hell
i've been without sleep for 2 days..going on to 3 days d..well if u consider 2 hours of sleep still is sleep then i guess u can say 2 hours of slp each day continously 2 days...i'm doing my lab report like mad...lucky i finish my stupid lan asignment one week ago..all dueing 2molo...lan.lab report..seminar..experiment..arghh!got so many things 2molo and nxt week like SHIT!have to start on MC100 assignment..presentation...shit got test !!ahhh!!dr.goh's reading!!shit!!research proposal coming also!!OMG OMG!!and the essay!!OMG OMG!!resarch colloqium coming also!!OMG OMG!!HELP!!!finish one then another one..WTF??NO TIME T OSTUDY FOR FINALS??!!been labouring non-stop..come home do work..go school .come home work..do work..school..shit.i next month DIE DIE!!!!I NO NEED TO SLEEP D!!
and those idiots nerds wanna come and kacau me now to send the group one to them..ppl here damn busy unlike them idiots A levels like school only la..do homework only..where got coursework all one..no wonder they so free la..fuckers..dun even know what is APA format..MLA format..haihzz..stupid nerds..study hard but not study smart=stupid..LOL..everything wanna by the book.it's only fucking moral LAN hello!!wanna do powerpoint all..fuck them up la..the lecturer also say no need to do they insist..and they so stupid consider replacement class as one week..dumbass man..told them now is week 10 next week week 11..dun wanna believe say cuz the replacement class so one week gone..DUMB!cukup DUMB!replacement class is replace one week la..no matter how next week is week 11.and our presentation is nxt week..but they insist this week..STUPID!the A levels dun have this kind of week week thing that's y la they so DAMN STUPID!wait till they go Uni level..they still in high school level..and damn DUMB!fine la..u want ur slide and ur essay sent to u..i send..just cut n paste can't be bother..eh ..ppl here rushing for lab report u all there senang cannot help do the ppt izzit?and u all are the one who insist on doing the ppt..!!no need to do..IDIOT NERDS!it's just MORAL!!OMFG!DUN UNDERSTAND THESE PPL!and wanna harrass me..call me la ..msg me la..WTF..ppl here not enough sleep and doing work like mad d..u ask me to do MORAL??WTF??NOT IMPORTANT K!GRRR..ONE DAY I WILL BURN ALL THE STUPID NERDS!!clever nerds nvm..but this is stupid nerds..mule!!so stubborn..think they all so clever and dun wanna listen to ppl..but actually is S-T-U-P-I-D!dun believe rite..wanna argue u see la 2molo is week 11!just wait..!arghhh!!
i need a break..i need to sleep...sigh..weekend guess won't be going anywhere..i wanna a quiet rest at home...and then it's WAR TIME AGAIN~!!!GOGOGOGO!
face like shit..hair like shit...body like shit..and most importantly I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
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Thursday, March 16, 2006
10:30 PM
HAPPY BDAY?
haiz..my bday..but i'm SICK!!damn flu!!sneezing non-stop..running nose non-stop..DAMMIT!somemore today actually got plans one but becuz of the damn flu CANECEL!!arghh!dah la all the other plans postphone...i thought at least not that bad,not all cancel...still can go out. ..but becuz of this damn flu can't even go anywheere !!haiz..watery eyes...today go class also tired..since yesterday..whole body damn weak and no energy...am i coming down with fever next?at least it's not bird flu??haihzzz..but thanx to all the ppl who wishes me today...luv u all...and thx nad n jiun for the thought...hahaha..jiun forget to bring my present..funny dei...but i felt a bit touch when nad hug n kiss me..still not use to the western way sial..XD i felt a bit kekok..really surprised.....another year older..feel damn old d..no more teens..hmmm..wonder wat i'm gonna get..?ppl give me money!!!$_$!!yeez u seeing this??money dei!!$_$!!!hahhahaha....got an angpau from parents..but i doubt dad got give..cis..mostly mom give one la sure..haihz 100 bucks only..just at the right time when i'm in need of money..
the difference between last year and this year's bday:
teenslooking at phone every 5 sec hoping it's himhealthycake from parentsbroke totallyface ok
twentiesno more waiting for his bday wishessickangpau from parentsbored(haizz..cuz sick)stressful(thinking of assg)depressing?(old d la..haihzz)13/4 broke face like shitstupid phone got prob (this also consider difference meh?=.='?)thinking....haihzzzdunno la...tired d...if i can think i add la ya..
whatever la ..i tired d..no energy..keep wanting to sleep..lazt to type d update nxt time...bb..zzzzzzzzz..stupid lan 2molo got quiz FUK!!!OMG QUIZ??!shit gotta study a bit...
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
5:19 PM
ups and downs of my life
ya..finish one assignment.one lab report coming..damn..now learn d they manual calculations os the stupid SPSS...have to include in it...the calculations =.="........stats...MANUAL CALCULATION!!!!haizz..the formula OMG man....count until blur d...so long o_O"..haiz sure in exam not enough time to do,cuz need to see what question apply wat only can calculated..-.-"..the worse is independent t test and repeated measure t test punya calculation..fuking long....=.=" but we still haven't learn ANOVA calculations yet..maybe even worse...so far pearson and chi square learn d.and t test..but i scare i dunno how to do in test la..haiz.. ..i dunno -.-' ...i enjoy calculating =.="...i like maths????o_O"??why do we need to learn the MANUAL CALCULATION while we have the SPSS program in comp??haizz..guess we need to learn both.....T_T..dunno when is out SPSS comp lab tutorial...and mc 100 assignemnt..then later got dr.goh's big big essay and qualitative methods research proposal something like a lab report but u dun have results u propose a research.. =.=".........arghhh..and i've been attending experiment like mad for extra credit plus seminar also need write up.and research colloqium from 8-5 on a SAT??!!need to attend 4 hours??then later need to stay n help for extra credit....damn busy..OMG I GOT A TEST COMING UP...fuck...haiz..my bday see la this is my bday!!@#$@#%@!
that day dr.goh say he give talk with some of the big companies -.-'..sime darby..standard chartered.bla bla..haiz..give them on why hire psychologist?haiihz..then after that he told us one of the reason they find us psychologist very attractive to hire cuz of our research skills!!OMG man!i hate that..-.-' and yet that is the most important thing..!he say even though we dun like research methods or qualitative methods etc etc..we still have to do it and try to learn cuz nxt time very useful bla bla..and nxt time if u gonna work in a office setting..the boss might just throw u somtg and ask u do research such as "eh i wanna find out why my workers all complaining..whats the reason and all..why all lazy.i give u 3 weeks u go n do research n come out a report for me" that time nobody can help u -.-" have to know how to do..the stats all have to count..and worse if u have a boss who dunno stats or SPSS thingy..u have to clearly explain it to him...my god man ...i scared la hear d...i cannot T_T i no confidence...i sure cannot do research and calculations my own one..haizz...dun wanna work in office setting..XD..haizz..dunno la..sien..i dun wanna be a psychologist...T_T..my path is set?haizz....clinical psychogist?i dunno la..that one have to study till masters...dad ask...mostly he wants me to be that...but sure got biopsych thingy one..dun like leh..wtf i want???!!!i want to do smtg else!!!!!!!!!!!astronomy sure cannot d..need to take physic training how many years one.haizz but animation!!!!!!or even web design!!!!!!!!!!!!!archaelogist also can la..i wanna dig stuff..learn the egypt hierography.rome..greek...geontology!!^.^wow sure nice...if got chance i'll take my 2nd master on that...=D..but ..financial -.-..sure have to work first!!and i can't be stuck in a rigid job everyday work from 9-5..doing the same old thing..damn..i know it and my birth chart told me so T_T..i need to do something related to technology and creativity...XD...i guess i suit more to work free lance..
i haven't been talking to him these few days d as in hearing his voice....cause i know if not sure cannot do my stuff one...talk on msn a bit la cuz he ask me to help him check his stuff..and he said the 3 words..after so long nvr hear him say d..i was a bit shocked..i promise i will help u do stuff means i will help u check one la..i guess u also shocked and happy i purposely come online to tell u wat i found out.. haihz..then i block him back..i really feel normal d...haizz..but i didn't know hearing his recorded voice can cause a pinch...ouch...dunno y..but just a little bit..especially the on thanking his bday present one..at least it's now hanging on his keys..i wasn't planning to hear at first..but i was reorganizing my computer files..and saw his file..so i just open n see..and u know...haihzzz..shouldn't have listen..but surprisingly ok d..only one drop..i guess it will fade..as time goes by...you are just someone special that enter in my life to teach my the meanings of life but was never mine ..and i have to keep at that...hope u are always happy..time to go on..^.^v..all these are unnessary stuff anyway..i'm very happy being at the present state and would like to remain like this..=)..so many other things to do..japanese also still haven learn!!grrrr!!no time!!!!!!!and US is coming nearer and nearer each moment of the day!!hahaha!!!woooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Saturday, March 11, 2006
11:59 PM
tired
yea..my exam essay is fucked up d..i wrote wrongly for question 3!!!!wtf man..and i wrote funny answer =.="..when marked d time surely laugh at me one..but i hope all is ok la..and not enugh time to do as usual..weriting like shit at the back...when they say 5 mins left..i've still have 2 fucking question to answer...WTF MAN!haiz that's y la simply write..wrote like shit..and question 2 just wrote one sentence..arghhhhh!!cuz no time d!!!her mcqs la so difficult make ppl think one.....dammit!!!!her short answer also took a lot of my time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!grrrrrrr..well at least i answered all 8 questions...sigh..but dunno is crap or wat...somemore study last minute a few hours before..muahhaha..i'm a last minute person!!!^.^v...dei..oh did i mention my weekly reading i got 4.5 % out of 5%..=D...and she say good job to me leh when we went to check the marks..LOL..and i was so blur..cuz i just woke up from slp b4 that...=.="..yes,i've been sleeping in class lately again..more frequent than ever...sigh...bus also..lrt also...always miss station d..last time won't one..haizz..and bus always hit my head on the window...-_-"..that day hit until dman pain..the stupid bus la suddenly brake so hard and i was like drowsing off to sleep d..damn pain..can hear sound one somemore when my head knock on the window there damn loud somemore.....ouch man..damn fuking pain..arghh..blue black d..and after that cannt sleep d cuz of the pain....!!the person beside me sure can hear...haizz..embarassing la..as usual..lately very lazy to use the public transport d..somemore have to walk..stupid bus recently becoming worse n worse..wait one hour also dun have..wtf man...very sick of this life..someone plz fetch me..i've been using the public transpoort for 2 years d i just realize..damn sien d..and my course..haiz after 2 years...dunno la..i feel everything damn sien d..it's really not what i want and what i should do....sigh..stupid career prospect...fuck it la..and stupid financial prob...i wanna have experience overseas...haizzzz....
rosh also no time to go oout d..wanna merajuk there...and i still haven't met up with my so call childhood fren..everyday there harassing me when we meeting up...everytim call me also i'm outside..LOL...fated...everytime i free he not free pula..and when he's in my school i'm not there..aiyah...susah la..and sunway lagoon plan with yen also dunno how...haiz bday also dunno how...damn...damn many things to think and plan and no time...i hate assignmetns!!!helpppp!!!i dying d.....everyday aslo got stuff to do..sob...
and stupid boss now wanna sms after so long nvr d and wanna ask to work but lower pay...wtf man...fuck her la..i dun wanna work d..like i cannot get a better job..RM 6.50 lower down to RM 5..i my as well find a better job...anyway now mom giving money d..at least can survive more..no time to work also...i dunno if i can cope if i work...many things waiting for me to do...but yet i'm so lazy...procrastinating....damn..too many stuff d..dunno which to start...i need help..
so many things yet so tired..lately seems to be feeling very tired and busy..not much time for myself..stupid assg..exams!arghh!i want holiday...i realize i feel nothing for him d..i can really treat him as a fren d..good...after so long...and i guess him too?today dunno why suddenly so good d..talk to me and joke around like friends d...i'm really happy it turn out to this way..i feel nothing d......he's a just a nice friend to have..in fact i feel glad that i'm able to treat him as a friend once again..today saw ckin again..hahaha..chat as usual..later when we when starbucks get to chat a while also..i got my ice blended chocolate finally!!NICE AND I LOVE IT!!should have order the grande though..=/..not enough to drink..lazy to update in details..tired..oh today get to play free round of Battle Gear 4..haha a malay guy who work in arcade there..ckin's fren...belanja us one..lol..wish can belanja us more round thuogh =/.and i just found out that the key cost 48 bucks!!omg man wtf???!!so exp..haizz...oh and my ID is back ...and v3 got improvement for tsuchi again..and my ghost squad- the shooting game also got improvement..now yeez also find it nice wanna start playing d..hahaha..kkla..i'm tired...update nxt time..bday coming yay!!16 march..i'm waiting...haizz..but so busy...T_T
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Thursday, March 09, 2006
2:23 AM
lots of updates
there's lots beeng going on but lazy to upate and no time..later i will do it..so many stuff to do leh..assignments. adn exams..update laterzz..kk..
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relief..him
what a relief after that day talking to him on the line after 2 days nvr talk to him d..he got gf anywa d,...i finally found out my real feelings....that day was like so awkward..i feel very akward and dunno hwo to face him..saturday i talk back to him...haihz..surprisingly..it's like i suddenly feel relief when he talk about his gf..lol..i feel fine d and really can treat and talk to him as like a fren d..and now these dew days i dun really bother about him anymore..didn't reall hang with him..even if got also i will just hang a while and do my other stuff...and these days he talking on the phone with other ppl also la...bored.. can't be bother...good la..it was just an infactuation maybe?or am i just imamture for love?easy come easy go?haihzzz
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
9:06 PM
him
yea..he told me yesterday that he got steady with that gal..somehow i dun feel anything...but i guess i was a bit of sad ..but not time for it..=.=" yen got prob with bf..i had to call her bf to settle stuff..haihz..lucky they ok d...good thing i got smtg to do...at least i won't feel dat sad?i dunno..i wish him happy with that gal...sob....after all i'm just his overseas dear ma..wat else rite?so what we hang on the line every nite...dun think he gonna do that often nemore...i dun feel like also...takkan u want me to hear about u n that gal?haihz..nvm la..but i dun feel that sad...i guess i knew this would happen a long time ago..at least i manage to give u my gift..hope u'll hang it by urside alwiz and remember me...lol...so tired...i fell asleep on the bus until i was trapped in the bus cause i cannot wake up...haihz..before that hang out with jiun n nad at jungle after class..nad belanja me makan mcd cuz dat time she say i help pass up the assg,she still owe me..haihya..no need la..got to chat a while lo...then have to go back d..later going to have lunch with yie and yen...end up we all go yamcha at the honey comb there ...nice place too..nice food too...can play games somemore there...like the environment..but sad la yie gotta go home early...ish...i feel very tired also btw...haha..we got to take a lot of pics again..with my new digital camera =p..hehe..did i mention dad already bought one cuz want to take pics in US...oh we got our air tickets d...-.-'..going for 10 days..leaving at may 11...haihzz..dunno..feel very tired..sleep few hrs again..thx to yen n her bf la..=/ and my 016 credit now is 0.00..omfg..just nice RM0.00..can't even do anything..i dunno la...haihzz...it's good to be single now i feel..i suddenly feel nice to be single...relationships..bleh..who needs that?so complicated -.-" and all it bring is pain?hapiness yea..but how many chance 20%?aiyorrr...not gonna bother d...i've been a good gal d..nvr go "fishing" nemore since i got him...but now haihz...2nd time d la he got new steady gf...i wish him all d best..just let me be ur ur silent watcher that's all i ask..thanx again...bye..stop playing a fool la with gals..treat them good sly dear...i feel numb -.-"...can't be bother...wasting time...fuk it..i'm gonna slp early..dun think u will miss me also..today he got go meet the gal la..yesterday he told me one..haihz..my as well go n find my TB partner..can't be bother also...=/...hahha..but i did upload my photo in my TB friendster account..LOL..zzzz
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