Step into muhh WORLD OF ENIGMA.... `take my HAND* NEVER let go-

World of Enigma: The Revolution...*
...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)

::When Illusions meets Realities::The Surreal Realm of Reality::A step into the World of Enigma..~::

takemyHAND*

hold me close
and say three words
like you used to do
just three words
iloveyou-

huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Wednesday, June 17, 2009
5:00 PM

Updates again

LOL.lately I've been so lazy to blog.
I've sorta decided I'm not gonna commit myself to a full time job currently.
I'll probably go for a part time job or my freelance jobs :)..
well at least till my graduation trip to NZ in august....after that may start seriously looking for a job..kekeke..depends though, because since I'm busy with my application to further studies..no point for me to get a job XD..and i can't seems to commit myself to a full time job -___-"..I'll rather start my own business if only I have a steady line of projects coming..cis~.~..

I'm actually quite happy with my current situation. Although some may think I'm slacking. yes I am but I'm have the freedom and flexibility to pursue my interest and hobbies such as astrology at this time, including more time for studies. -_- do you know GRE exams (graduate school entrance exams in the US) have many components and section, I actually have to do bloody add maths questions -_- which I've thrown away since high school..gosh T_T..I need to start revising all my rusty subjects sobs..will be registering for it next month july since the schedule only out in july. However, I'm gonna be taking my TOELF test in august, just before my trip. I don't understand why one englisht test have to up 4 hrs -_________-"! why the heck is our native language malay..cish..now I have to take all these test.!!wasting money and time!

Basically I'm really happy and contented with what I'm doing now :)

Due to some circumstances, HE is only coming in july :/...

Dad is gonna be away for the weekend for biz trip :D..wohoooo..party time for me!kekekekeke!!!

Ciao for now.!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Thursday, June 11, 2009
5:25 PM

Friendship

Why is there's so many problems of friendship everywhere lately?

Me.people.others.daph.steph.nic.

The gap is there.
The problem is still there.
It take 2 hands to clap. To solve it.
Certain things you can't said out.
Because u fear of hurting the other party.
But then if you didn't say out.the prob will be there.
But if one party doesn't want to listen.
How can u solve the problem?

Issit because you care too much for the person that there are certain things you dunno how to express it out.
You feel taken for granted.
You tell.
The other party listens.
Mend up.
But in the end back to square one.
Because it will be forgotten and the same thing keeps happening.
Until to the point you feel that there's no use talking anymore.
Because you're just simply tired.
The problem is still there.
It takes the effort of both parties seriously.
If not the problem will be there forever.
There's gonna be argument again.
Yes, you can chose to ignore it and go on.
But do you know it's unhealthy for the relationship?
simply because THE PROBLEM is still there!!!!!
It's gonna crop up again ..in future!

To the point you dunno how to handle.
You run away.
It's not gonna help but you dunno wad to do anymore.
You shut the other party out.
You turn to other people.
Not because you don't care...or others are better friends..but because you dunno what to do anymore.
And deep down you're just a mess.
Because you care and love for the person that much.
The person means something to you in your life. something important.
If not why the heck are u living like that?!
It's just emotionally draining.
Emotional turmoil.

All I seek is solace.
Salvage, I want.
What should I do?

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

sigh..updates.

I've been sorta MIA again -_-" i know i know..so many things argh!!
I've been going through my astrological classes with my sifu ..that day he sorta gimme a pratical exams...and I felt that I'v failed him :(..I did quite shitty la..haihz..although he and his friends doesn't mind..but still I've always had high expectation of myself..
I was really down and emo and moody la....lately my emotions is like going up and down -_- roller coaster..he told me I know what I want outside..but inside I'm just a confused toad..sigh..I realize that..I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and seeking my inner self..I have doubts..a lot..

Sigh...I've found peace and when I've found it..I found out there's actually more than peace..there's just chaos deep inside me..I dunno whats wrong with me already la..the more I get to know myself the more I'm afraid...shit..I'm changing in some way,yet I dunno how. I know I'm changing and something is not as it used to be, but I can't seems to grasp hold of it..

What's wrong with me!?I had like emo outburst lately..damn la..my scorpio acting!?argghh!!

I'm worry about my application stuff..went out with my 2 babes that day..and macee as well..hell lotta to prepare.damn..

perhaps not.The new HE is coming ..less than one week time...haihz..I've decided to confront everything.I dunno. Why is my emotions so unstable..?I'm scared.Plus astrological wise, we are clashing....sigh..wadever..I've decide to take the step ahead anyhow,it's still up to me.

Stay rational arghhhhhhhhhh!!!!consult the taurus in me!-_-!!!!cish!that all for now.

I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
ARGH!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Tuesday, June 02, 2009
5:37 PM

Mystic

I have found some inner peace inside me the more I get to know it...
yesh..I'm learning astrology and tarots soon..It's actually all inter-related..wonderful yet mysterious..
and I have met some kind soul that became my guidance during such a time where I was lost..
I was so lost...
so many problems..
I cannot breathe..
I cannot move..
I was just zombie....

Fate?
Destiny?
I do not know.
What I know is I've been fascinate with it from the start..a very long long time ago. and it is my time to get in touch with it now.

The problems are still there
Everything is still there
The shits..
The hell...
Yet I have somehow found such a peace inside me that enable me to see things in a different perspective..
I understand better..
I'm so curious..
so interesting...

Strangely I even found happiness inside me..emotional fulfillment..something that I had not been able to feel for a very long time already..I do not know how to explain or desribe it..it's just strange, interesting and wonderful at the same time..

I just feel that I am going through a spiritual journey..LOL!I talk like a dalai lama..wth!!
Some ppl might see it differently..
black magic?cult?evil?nah..
It doesn't control over you..it is just a guideline..the ultimate choice is still up to you..whatever yo do..will affect ur destiny fate..

How can it be evil if it's your own choice?

Do people even know why tarots was seen it in such ways..?
That was because way long ago the religion is afraid of the power it has on people.power meaning their user..people who use it.. so they create all means to defame it..calling it evil cult...and so on
What are they doing then?They are actually destroying..have the intention of harming..doesn't all religion teaches us to love peace? spread your love..that sorta thing?But look at what the religions are doing..!?

I'm not accusing anything I'm just pointing our the facts.That why I'm a free thinker up till this day. I have my own set of religion I believe what I wanna believe. It's everyone's free choice.
I do not have a particular religion..does that mean I'm evil or rot in hell?
There are some people who are so religious and yet what are they go out murdering people and stuff like that..so does that mean if one have a religion that he/she would be better than one without?

I don't think so.
I believe it's ultimately up to the person's choice and value.
Having a religion or not does not make a differences. If you are a man of worth, discipline, values..you would then be a good man even without any specific rules or guidelines to adhere too like what religions require you too.
Yes, religion may be a sign of a respect to GOD. But respect to GOD is between me as a person and GOD, why do I need to show it to other people?for show?

Blah. I shall not go on rambling.
I had an assignment to do for my 2nd stage interview. went for interview again. and no, I haven't called up the company in sri hartamas because I had so much things going on.-_-"
This bloody company call me out of the blue when I applied like months ago -_- ..I've already stop applying for jobs lehs!

many things going on..I'm still on MIA mode..but not so.things need to be settled soon.

Can't wait for my nxt class!!
Hmm..issit because I have many planets in my 8th house..that's why I'm so intuitive and into these??Could it be?

I wanna know more and more...!I desire...!:/

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*