Step into muhh WORLD OF ENIGMA.... `take my HAND* NEVER let go-

World of Enigma: The Revolution...*
...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)

::When Illusions meets Realities::The Surreal Realm of Reality::A step into the World of Enigma..~::

takemyHAND*

hold me close
and say three words
like you used to do
just three words
iloveyou-

huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Tuesday, July 28, 2009
6:44 PM

ANGRY

bloody stupid king in my house..he's the one paranoid..now I can't even bring friend's back home...
like wtf seriously!??!!
he so scare the house gonna get rob or smtg..
no wonder he no friends lar..
u so scared..then ur pasal lar..why must I live under your nonsense rules..damn I can't wait to get out of this house..i really hate hate this..!fuck man.!!NO WONDER LAR NO ONE CAN STAND YOU!!!STUPID!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Happpineesss

Wah it's been a while again..so many things had happened!

Hmm..let see..everything seems to be on track nowadays..

I got a job :)..starting end of august (after my NZ trip)..is in some sort of a uni setting.It's a London based school lar actually offering clinical hypnosis courses over here as well as therapy. I'm doing the admin first, but later on if I'm interested I might have the chance to move on to clinical research field..they have reseach projects ongoing with UM and UPM currently. Plus I'll be liasing with those practicitoner and professor from here and UK as well..I'll be booking the classroom that sorta thing..and I probably need to go to UM as well from time to time if they have classes.
They do offer me to take the course for free if I stay long term, but then again..I might be leaving Msia wad..hopefully!!!pray for my app to get approved!
Pay is low, but the experience and networks I get is priceless..work environment is what I'm looking for too..nt many ppl, means not much stupid politics =X..they are angmohs mostly..:) I need to brush up on my English and no more lahs and mahs!! They ppl I'll be in contact with mostly would be students, professors, and patients.LOL~!It's a job that would at least help in my future pathway too..I'm happy that I've at least found something that I can enjoy! At least I don't have to go into the corporate world ;X..I'm heading towards the acamedic line. which my dad ain't too happy about =X..but fk care!I'm just heading towards my dreams..that's all

Next..my kancil is trading off for a new car!wohooooooooo!!!my new viva elite :p!!can't wait..!!
I've decide to take up half of the loan every mth :(...~.~ sigh..need to worry about the bills too..with my kesian salary ~.~..LOL..!!I think I'll pay for the electricity, phone bills, half of the car loan..insurance(still thinking)..the rest dad still gotta help.I can't afford the astro bills and gorcery yet =.="..

and Lastly..
well I've sorta confessed to him..LOL.okie lar I did!we've talked things out..and I told him honestly everything =X..and well..yeahs he have admitted his feelings too..we've decided that we need to meet up first..and he's confirmed coming in end of august!
Actually I did not plan to do it but something happened that I knew this time it's just different..it's just not a crush.when he told me the bad news of him leaving in next june to States instead of 2 years later.I actually T_T and I felt so down for few days,that got me bothering.I couldn't accept such a me.People who knew me knows that I don't need a guy, I won't stay for a guy either.I dunno why I can be so emotionally dependent on this guy,it's like I can share even my innermost problems and we can communicate at the same level.It's unlike other guys,I never let other people so close to my heart seriously.I had always be cautious,even with my ex. I can never share so much like how I shared with him.Cause I was afraid.I am afraid to be so weak,so exposed to someone.I cannot accept myself for being so weak. It was a blow to my ego. I would never let this happened. But it happened anyway. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. LOL!

It had been bothering me for quite some time and I feel the need to talk things with him. and I'm glad I did. It's an entirely new feeling. I'm so happy now. hahahaha duno why.don't asked. I don't understand myself now either.

We've talked about the future too...I hope that I can get to join him in the States. damn!Hopefully hopefully...my app get approved!!In the midst of preparing for toefl and gre now..letters...what else..applications..essay..ishh argh!

Anyway now I'm just waiting for august. :)
There would be a surprise..I wonder what?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA!!!
I dunno why I'm just feeling happy :)

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Thursday, July 23, 2009
12:00 PM

Bon Odori

After many last minute circumstances that arise..I still finally managed to make it for the Bon Odori Festival..-_-"
On that day, two of my babes suddenly cannot make it..pee fell sick with fever, shi was caught up with relatives..and so I had to arrange with another friend to take the bus from KDU to that place in shah alam..but I end up missing the bus too ..took too long to prepare..=X
To actually fit into that yukata is a tedious process..especially when you have to wear it by yourself..and I'm practically skin and bones..so it make it harder =.= too much cloth..and my first time tying that obi..LOL I still managed to tied a butterfly lehs :D..!

So in the very last minute..I was too desperate to go =X..managed to pull my penang friend to go. so grateful..T_T..LOL!we got lost all the way.wtf -_-.went to KL city center and back somemore. go through the same bloody toll dunno how many times.(Blame Sammy Velu for building so many tolls!!damn dahlah broke, still need to pay so many toll!) Finally manage to make our way to the Panasonic Sport Complex in Shah Alam. Only reached at 7.40pm -_-".it was so packed man. Cars were parking like mad everywhere.

Let the pics speak for itself!
*Due to my desire to remain anonymous, no pictures of me in yukata shall be posted :p

Saw these dance..find it really hilarious though!ROFL!

There's drum performance and dancing...

Everyone down the stage was following and dancing along..wakakaka..

Look at the people waving and dancing..

The crowd O_o imagine how packed =.= and I was feeling bloody hot in my yukata..especially after dancing..sweating like a pig..

See this..OMFG!!O.o..look at these people..wear till liddat =X..!wanna show off their assets :p..one showing off her belly erm..another one her baju alter till dunno wad..
Bon Odori is supposedly a Buddha festival to respect ancestors for the japanese..and you should dressed appropriately..wear high heel sumore O_o omg?
I even spotted one girl in Lolita Costume..LOL!but sadly din get to take pic!!

There were food of course..overpriced food -_-"..there were this store giving out free yakult and bread..so you can imagine us cheapo going back those stores only LOL!that's our dinner!HAHAHAHA!
and take a look at this sushi king shifted their whole belt over here.ROFL!!!

Got some people came up to me wanting to take pics..probably I'm in the yukata and everything..and something funny happened..
A group of guys approached me....

Guy A: *speaks in japanese rapidly*
Me: *look up at him and blink*...look blank and blur (manage to only catch a few words)
Silence for like 30 seconds....
Me: Erm..you can just speak to me in English..my Japanese is just very basic..(at this point of time, my friend was laughing like mad behind me..grrr!)
Guy A: Oh!!we thought you are a jap..cause you really look like one!
Me: *inside heart: LOL!* arigato gozaimasu!
Guy B: Did you take the JPLT?
Me: erm..nope I haven't even reach that level. my jap very very basic, only learn for interest sake, wanted to take it seriously in future though.
Guy C: We just wondering whether you can take a picture with us?
Me: sure...

But end up...the guy's camera bo battery liao..and that moment mine was low on battery too..so didn't take..ROFL!!!!

It was so hard walking in the yukata..restricted leg movement..must walk like small steps..ladylike -_- LOL!dunno how the jap can manage it..I had fun still though..My friend told me penang one was way better =.=" they have fireworks..KL one don't have..and apparently they have those japanese game too..KL one have nothing =.=..
However after speaking to daph. shewent for penang one...it sux the same. no game. I WANT THE CATCHING GOLDFISH GAME WITH PAPER ONE!!!grrr..!but penang one had fireworks though...KL one still sux =.=..nxt year I shall go to the penang one if there's a chance..

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Friday, July 10, 2009
12:07 PM

Cheapo update

Updates again. My blog has become really DRY lately. YESH I do realize that -_-'" LOL.lazy and busy larhs.

Anyway I completed another phase of my lecturer work on tues night. Slept at fucking 5am. Doing work and watching M.J Memorial Live LOL!Woke up at 10am on wed. -_-' Then rush to uni to meet up with lecturer. Initially I wanted to tell him I can't help him anymore T_T....but but..he praise my effort and say I did a really good job. kembang la of course.LOL!And so once again..I feel obliged to help him out. T_T He ask me to help him out on the next phase of the project..sobs. I still have 10hours left with him, he said probably will topup the money. Sigh. Work will probably be in sept or so cause I won't be around august. Nevermind, think of the letter....letter...there's gonna be a good letter of recommendation :)! And actally deep down I do kinda enjoy the work also especially when your hard work is appreciated and recognized..you just feel the sense of accomplishment. It just feel good.

After that..I went home and became THE MARIA again. I clean,sweep, mop and wash the toilets. Ironed all the clothes. Cook. Cleanup. And finally rest ! Geng bo?? Slept at 5am the prevoius night..and yet I'm amazed I have the energy to do all the work. I wanted to rest and slack the next day la.hahaha!

I haven't registered for my GRE general test cause I'm thinking maybe I should take it in sept.they have it in august..but...I scared I'm not prepared. I have my TOEFL on early august. Going NZ mid august. End august HE's coming. where got time?maybe I should take the sept one. The GRE subject test they only have it in KL in november ehs..if I want to to it in sept, I have to go down to penang..which is a hassle. but if I wait till november I'm afraid one of the uni due date is too close. haihz..dilemma..

Anyway, I've bought my yukata. And I've bought my boots, sent over to NZ.so I'm left with basically nothing. FINANCIAL CRISIS!!!!!!!I already 'ketuk' the gorcery money till I can't anymore..FARK LAR!I'VE NO MONEYY!!!and my phone bill last month was really shocking..both handphone and house phone. If I don't cut down, my NZ trip will be in danger.
So this cheapo has decided to not reply any sms nor call anyone till end of this month. -_-" yesh. I hope I can do it. I'll shall use FB/MSN to contact with people. Bear with me please. So if you do happen to sms me..plz check ur FB/MSN, I shall reply over there.

Due to my desperation for money, this cheapo shall go gambling on sat. -_- wish me luck.
Off. Tata.

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Tuesday, July 07, 2009
5:42 PM

Bankruptcy

B.R.O.K.E like shit for the moment.
really broke like shit seriously.
Never before.

Reserved money for boots to NZ and I'm fucking broke d.

Damn the living cost in kl nowadays. Everything is so expensive! I should just go to live in indonesia or thailand..sudah la -_-!LOL!

AND don't ask me why or how..yesh I'm buying a yukata -_-". I duwan to think about it cause I know I shouldn'tI duwan to regret it, so yeah I'm just not gonna think about it. and just gonna enjoy myself at the bon odori. of course with MANY MANY I MEAN MANY PICTURES (since I already spent hell lota on that costume, no way I'm going to NOT take pictures!)

My internet is not doing me any favors either.it sucks to the core and keep dc every erm 1 min?

Meeting lecturer tomorrow and work not done. Yesterday friend's car tio bang, had to bring her to a cheap workshop. and I end up slacking and not doin work AGAIN!DAMMIT!
tonight no need to do anything -.- and no game already la..need to finish my work.HAIHZ!

and HE...is coming in end of august -_-" I sorta knew it already la.since he had classes going on this month. stupid ish! what u expect from one of the top students..haihz..in one of the most-hard-to-get-in uni in sg ~.~ .Sometimes I feel a tad bit inferior or maybe it's just my kiasu-ness that he's that smart...always so busy O.o ..:/..not to mention my phone bill shoot sky high because of him too..diu kena from dad la.

electricity also. had fights again with dad. sigh. I duwan to say anymore.
Fight about my job issue.He wants me to get a full time job. He thinking I'm just slacking at home.fk man. I have many things not settle that why I wanted part time and freelance..he just dun get it..haihz.HE THINKS I LIKE TO USE HIS MONEY ISSIT FUCK LAR!dammit..whatever..suffocating.
It alwas come back to the same thing- the JOB issue.damn. whatever. not gonna blog in a whilek again.lazy and i have to slp at freaking 11+ pm nowadays.dammit.if not my NZ trip will be cut off.sigh.

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

Friday, July 03, 2009
2:23 PM

"BUSY-ING"

been really busy and occupied lately =X..yeahs busy "takei" also consider okie..LOL!!!
no lar =.= bo mood to update my blog or even bother about my friendster/facebook/msn..even email..imagine that -_- lolx..a lot ppl thought what the heck happen to me?LOL=.= im not MIA-ing la..still here..but sorta MIA-ing in a good way not the bad way..-_-' gosh the more i xplain the worst it sound..anyway been busy larh!a lot of things to think and frustrated about..fan lar..that why I wasn't around much =X lolx..

I took my cert and transcript from uni already..-_- heck i forget to request for my previous program transcript..diu..need to go and ask again..haihz..hassle lar...

Registered for TOEFL already..but got some problems -.- I need to add one more uni to send scores to..but my internet doesn't seem to allow my payment to get through..another diu..I had to call for registration cause my internet sucks..dammit.Now another hassle..haihz diu..another thing to settle..

My applications required me to write essay..diu..another hassle -.- haven't done..5 unis..I guess 5 essays?deng..another thing to do..-_-"

My application requires me to get the bloody letters of reccomendation. -_- haven't done either..3 u know for each uni..-.- some want me to do it online..diu another hassle..

After many changes and problems, my New Zealand Trip air tickets is finally booked..money problem..dad not borrowing me until the last moment...cause he knows I won't slp early if he does.. -_-..and I have not yet found my boots...wtf..lack of time..lack of money -_-"clothes problem too...

Oh ya Im going to bon odori festival with babes and friends this year!MUAHAHHA!after so long I've been wanting to go!!!deng..i wanan get that yukata..sigh money problem..diu -_-"...another thing to worry about..

Having problems with my tarots class -__-" I can't communicate with the cards well..diu......

Lack of money is the main problem I think -_-" and I can only invest one year from now..sigh..and shit my lecturer work not done..don't ask me how or why..damn..another hassle..

Oh ya need to register for gre..and study my A.Maths and stuff all over again..diu..yet another thing to add on my list..sigh...

SEE la -_- wtf is wrong with me..there's so many things to think about..very fan lar..!!and I let myself indulge in games too much for the past few weeks..to the extend of obsession -__-"..I think I was trying to escape from reality?-_-" lolz..oh ya also to spend time with HIM marhs..:( aihsehh..all is going well between us..I dunno what is happening too..dun ask me seriously I duno.I've seems to share a lot of things more than I intended to with him..sigh..dunno what happen to me..I wanted to make a short trip to SG before my NZ trip..but lack of money -_-" lolz..I'm really broke to the max.damn.I can't even shop or go anywhere much anymore due to my extreme brokeness...-_-" but I think movies still can afford barhs (student price)..LOL!!!

Oh ya I watched transformer..surprisingly I think it's much better than the 1st one..more plot..more story :D..and they featured my egypt!LOL!!!!

Sigh..I have many thigns to settled yet I dunno where or how to begin..tired -_-"..grr ish!let me slack for a while more!

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*