...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
11:30 PM
FUCK YOU!
why are u doing this to me??u know..u know that i'm sad all these while..u know i have been in living hell all these fucking 10 months..u told her..oh and u ask her to hide that u have another one..(dunno is it true or not or u talk cock there)..very funny..and then u break up..because u r bloody confused??CONFUSED FOR FUCKS??WHAT'S THERE TO CONFUSE?GO AHEAD LIKE OTHER GALS..U ONLY TREAT ME LIKE A SIS RIGHT?NOTHING TO CONFUSE..fuck you..CONFUSED COCK?and that's y u did those things to me?send those stupid msg asking rubbish questions?giving me signs that are stupid?have feelings for me??HAHAHHA..and then now this!!!go la..go ahead...going after gals in front of me..which u like met the 2nd time??wanna be a fucker!!U WANNA BE A FUCKER!!playing with gals??damn you...are you doing these on purpose??u are an idiot..!asshole!shitter!??bastard!u have no modale..nothing and you wanna be a fucker??!!u have no looks..no money..no brains..FUCK YOU...dunno y the hell i fall for you??damn you...u think i cannot izzit?i can play around with guys too if i want..u think i dun have??wtf am i bloody waiting for you??sob..sob...u think i feel very nice to pretend in front of you..to smile and talk to you...trying my very best to treat you like a friend..it's a torture..probably u too..i dunno..but you know this and yet u still wanna do this to me..u know how hard for me to talk bout it when the moment u say dat u wanna go after dat gal in a jokingly manner..how hard for me to type the msg indirectly for you asking the gal can go after her(yeez type it but i help with the han yu pin yin)..hahaha..my mask was slipping..the pieces from my heart that i took so many effort to stick back shattered again.didn't think it's possible to think it can still break into more pieces..but it did..u took it and shattered the thousand pieces into a million pieces..WTF U DO THAT??U WERE JUST BEING A FUCKER..u weren't even serious in going after dat gal..u just wanted something to do..but still WHY U DID THAT IN FRONT OF ME!!it hurts...it hurts a lot..but i managed to hold it..but the mask is really slipping..and on dat day itself he have to teman us go down...i couldn't stand it anymore.my tears came down.he wasn't with us.he went in a restaurant to find somebody so i thought it was safe d as my mask was already slipping. was waiting for the lift..and damn he came n join us..i couldn't let him see..i had my back towards him.i quickly went in the lift without bothering it's going down or up.keep pressing the close button but they manage to get in..damn..ask yeez to cover for me..my back was towards him all the while all the way down..i even wanted to go out to other floor,cannot wipe it.it keep flowing,i dun want him to know..so when it reach LG..i just rush out go into another direction..damn..i'm acting really weird..so i kinda lie say wanna go toilet..i did..i calm myself down.pick my mask and then i'm out.it's cracking though.d gal refused him btw.i totally broke down in d car.and guess what??i thought i was safe d..and u know what??we met him out side there..when our car came out of the carpark,he was walking..damn!MOTHER FUCKING HELL..SO KEBETULAN..THE TIMING..FUCKING HELL..IS THIS A GAME?fated?i dunno did he saw me crying..yeez slow the car or did it stop?and he wave at yeez or wat i dunno..i just hold up d jacket and trying to cover my face and ask yeez to STEP ON IT!GO!dammit..and she got the cheek to only step on the pedal like seconds later..screaming like mad woman i think.omg..this is fucking embarassing and is this all ararnged by God?he want this to happen??hahahha..gift or torture?fated?hahahhaha....damn..and now i dunno waht to do..haven't been myself lately..losing appetite too..no mood to do nething..it just pains me whenever i think bout him and the scene of that day keep replaying..i feel the ache..not only that..other stuff too..dunno how to say..wtf he treat me like dat?and then now treat me like this??DUN EAT MY MUFFIN THEN..GIVE IT BACK..!!AND GIVE BACK MY MONEY!GOT THE CHEEK TO BORROW MONEY FROM ME!!hahahhahahahaha.............sob..sob...i dunno..it really hurts...the never ending tears..the never ending ache in my heart..but yet i still wanna see him..but i dunno..i really dunon how..if i can pull myself back nemore..i dun have the strength anymore..i'm so tired..i'm weak!hahaha..i stupid..cause i still love you...fucker...i wanna hate you..sob..my exams is next week..same as yours...and yet i can't study..no mood..help..ask u sto study hard..still hope that u at least will do some studying so u won't fail all.am i stupid?still care for you..hahahhahaha..it hurts..ouch...will i be able to stand up again this time??i dunno..it's so hard to act ok in front of my family..and i have to see my relatives on monday and be cheerful all day..ahhaha..it's so hard..my act is failing badly..tears drop uncontrollably..lucky manage to still pull it back and hide it...they will never know..my heart is in despair...i need to pull myself back..i know...i need to put my act again...i need my mask..it's not repaired...how am i gonna face u?i can't seems to stand up...sob..
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
