...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Sunday, January 16, 2005
10:23 PM
Day 3
Didn't get much sleep last night..keep waking up during the night..it's been like that since that day..always had nightmare..and I can't sleep well..will keep thinking bout it..was I traumatized?When I woke up..I didn't want to do anything so I laid on my bed..thinking again...tears flow out through my corners of my eyes..I can't help it..I though I had already let it go but somehow there's a small part of my heart that doesn't feel that way..A small part of my heart still somehow hope that this is all a dream and thath he will msg me saying he made a mistake and let's start all over again..I realized I was serious about this relationship...before that I didn't realized..it's so ironic..now I only I know how come I'm so sad and depressed over it..because I was serious and I just couldn't believed it's all over...I was really serious although it was a short period of time..then I went about doing my normal routine..ate my breakfast...pretend everything is like normal in front of my parents of course..anyway dad is angry with me and using the " treating me like a stranger" tactic..he totally ignored me and keep saying things out loud purposely to my mom and make sure I can hear it just so to hurt me...ahh..fuck it..I'm not even in the mood...can't you see your daughter is under depression?why do you want to hurt me again?my heart had just been hurt and I haven't recovered yet..you don't know anything ok..so can't you stop hurting me?I was really depressed the whole day..been doing a lot of thinking again...locked myslef inside my room and was crying the whole day...I can't stop crying somehow...It really hurt me..My heart is really aching..heartbroken you can say..and I'm still waiting for his msg to say all this was a mistake..am I stupid or what??I felt asleep after much crying..was too tired..but I woke up from another nightmare again..I think I dreamt about it..can't really sleep well...I really needed someone to talk to..but I couldn't get hold of a single person the whole day...but finally I called yees...talk to her....cried again...felt better..I really need a shoulder to cry on.. and someone to hug and comfort me...later I talk to pei yie too....I talk to both of them quite a few times...I felt much much better...a lot of things happen..I dunno how to describe it..but they both made me feel a lot better...I thought through lots of stuff again...I think I had managed to let go a bit of something..a bit..not much but still...at least I finally can accept the fact that he's not going to msg or call me..so I can just stop looking at my phone every 5 minutes like an idiot...I have already stop waiting for his call or msg...at least I've learned to let go a bit..nad did call too but she was still outside..I think she just wanted to check if I'm ok..it's really nice of her to do that...I realize I really have friends that really care for me...thanks to them..for helping me getting through these hard times..without them I would probably be killing myself right now...they really gave me lots of emotional support that I really needed during these time..thank you..you all help me even though everyone of you was busy with your stuff....thank you...
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
