...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Thursday, February 03, 2005
3:04 AM
Day 19-Tuesday
Today was a very bad day...it was a public holiday for k.l..so I went up to t.s again,couldn't get enough of yesterday?well...it's part of the reason..but another part was that I'm hoping to see "you know who"..I was thinking he would be there since it is a holiday..my guess was right...he is there..but he left after a short while I arrived but only to return later...another friend was there too and the usual arcade bunch of friend..probably due to that another friend-another evo driver too was there,that's why we kinda talked and laughed together..the environment wasn't that bad..but got a few times he was sitting and standing someone else, I caught him looking at me..and he kinda caught me looking at him too..shit!he really caught me looking at him one time..our eyes kinda meet,he was kinda far away and I quickly look away,hoping it wasn't that obvious I was looking at him..I was kinda looking for him cause he was missing...what's wrong with me?why the hell do I still want to look out for him?and it make it worse that I know he's also look at me or peek at me or whatever you want to say it...I mean why he still want to do that since he's the one asking for all this?I realize I still have feelings towards him..and he too..so what's the problem now?Am i giving myself false hope again?I know I should move on..I kinda did..at least I can talk bout it without ending up in tears anymore..but I don't think I could ever fully let it go..it's really a pity..to just end it like that..since we still have feelings for each other..don't you think so?I still feel really sad but happy at the same time whenever I see him though..what kind of feelings is that?I try to make myself hate him..which at one point I sucessfully did but it didn't last long..no matter how hard I try to hate him,I just couldn't do it...arghhhH!!!I didn't realize I was that deep into this relationship..I was that serious..*sigh*..oh.I lost my bag today too..some idiot stole it!!fuck that idiot!lucky my wallet and phone was in my pocket but all my keys are inside my bag and it's all gone!Dad's volcano finally erupted after I told him I lost my house keys..things haven't been that good with me and my dad lately..I hate him!he doesn't understand shit!All he knows is to follow his way and misunderstand me..he threaten me if I don't change,this is my last chance..and he really mean it..LAST CHANCE..he's gonna kick me out of college and ask me to go out to work..!FUCK HIM,how could he?He said I have to change all my habits...including phone bill..if next month's phone bill exceed his limit..then I'm goner!And I need to change my otehr habits too..including do more housework,come back early,sleep early,talk to him nicely,cannot argue with him..basically do whatever he wants me to do..I just have to follow the GENERAL's order...I'm gonna suffocate in this house..I don't even want to go home early these days..I don't want to see his fucking face..!How could you want me to change so many things in like so short time?I have to pretend someone I'm not every single day at home..I don't know how long I can stand this..I'm gonna die sooner or later..I even had suicidal thoughts today..He even hit me and he push my head very hard in the car where it gave a loud knocking sound when my head hit the windscreen..he's a fucking idiot maniac who don't know shit!who don't know what I have to go throught everyday!you think I don't have stress?only you have stress?You think is easy to study?All you think is your fucking self!You are an abusing your children mentally and emotionally,don't you know that?I so fucking hate you..my feelings towards you really died after yesterday..you killed it..you killed it and I really hate you since I was in high school..you don't even pay for my school fees,all mom pay!You fucking did nothing and you want to kick me out of college??Oh..one more thing,did I tell you how long have I been wanting to murder you..if not because of the consequences and my conscience..I would have done that!!where were you when I'm depressed?where were you when I'm sad?At least mom knows when I'm sad and depressed,u?You know shit and all you know is to scold and to ask me to be your SERVANT!
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
