...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Friday, April 22, 2005
11:40 PM
Why izzit always bout him???
ARGGGGGGGGgghhhhhhhhhh....i really dunno what's wrong with me.........I'm having a really bad day.....today went to ts......and it seems that everything doesn't go my way...instead everything seems to be going the wrong way for me........i dunno.I really dunno anymore..izzit because of him?never get to see him?I haven't been sleeping well the past few days..I dunno why I keep thinking bout him.........I can no longer supressed the thoughts..the feelings.......it's really limit already...I cannot tahan anymore......I really cannot.......cannot supressed already.....damm sad................pain...............I dunno why...I really don't...I have been managing through all this while but I was just pretending...I can no longer do that....it's limit already.....damm man......all this while I've been supressing it..now it all came out in one shot........it doesn't really feel good.......I cannot control my feelings...my tears....fuck lah......today also......damm emotional....damm frusfrating.....I play soul calibur like shit today......i dunno why.what's the point of getting "close" to him in a way by playing that?what's the point?ID also cannot...soul calibur also cannot....no matter how hard I try..also cannot be like him...at least below him a bit also nvd..but it's so far away..the level...don't say ID..soul calibur also same...no matter how hard I work on it...I still can't seems to catch up...bet he doesn't even know or care..do you know I work so hard in both game just for you in a way?no...you dunno..and you probably don't even care....I don't even know that do u still feel the same way as I do?I can no longer read your signs..your nonverbal cues..or whatever u want to call it...it really hurts me that I can do so anymore....really scared that you no longer feel the same way.....maybe I'm too messed up to see any of that anymore...i mean you have to be calm and rational to see all of that..but currently I'm not even thinking straight anymore....it's the holidays!!!!!!I need work to distract me...if not you will appear in my mind....more and more often...till I can no longer think...can no longer tahan...I dunno...I feel like screaming...........shouting........crying...............whatever...haven't I been doing that all along?hahahaaaaaaa...............I really dunno....you think I dunno all those fucking advice bout not living in the past..how many times I've done self-advising..self counseling or whatever shit u want to call it......but it doesn't fucking work..k?try how many times to start anew without him..but it doesn't work for me.....really..I know..it's my life..everyone is different..and you think I dunno the bloody advice on what if you really love a person,it's enough if that person is happy although that person is not a part of ur life...anyway...I don't think he's happy either...can feel it...hahahha..what the fuck am I talking about?I don't even know anymore.....all I know is that I'm really fucked up...I really care for him...good also he didn't come today..at least go to school...and is that bloody unknown number from him again?i dunno..what am i hoping for?really hope it's from him...arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............................i'm dying...can I just die?hahahhaha..........it's a torture to live like that...hahahahha...feel like just doing it...but I know I can't......that's the torturing part...you can't die but you want to..hhahaha..
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
