...into muhh heart, muhh soul, a brand new miee! :)
takemyHAND*
hold me close and say three words like you used to do just three words iloveyou-
huh?!lost?; click on your right and navigate your way through!*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
Saturday, May 07, 2005
11:17 PM
Crap
Haih..haven’t been really good these few days…about him again lah…have been having sad dreams again..can’t even sleep well…….now I even scared of sleeping..what’s wrong with me?damm sad and depressing..i thought after so long…but still..cry like hell……every day?hahaha.till my eyes all dried up already…till there’s no more tears left..damm….damm pain lah…it doesn’t help that I get to see him yesterday..it got even worse...and it doesn’t help either that he’s avoiding me…obvious lah…got once when he saw me standing on the opposite machine..he purposely move away…lots of time also like that…seelah..this is call being friends?and when we are left almost alone..he will try to move away.. he’s not even talking to me lah..we are not even in talking terms?eh..friends can talk right?how many times you want me to take the iniative to try to talk to u and u don’t give any response.. i try talking to him but every time he doesn’t reply…but other ppl talk sure reply…and he rather talk to yeez…fucker..what’s ur problem now?talk also cannot izzit?what’s the point I’m like an idiot here trying to talk to u and u are ignoring me..obviously you are trying to ignore my presence..fucker…that’s call being friends???huh?u tell me lah??u think I not hurt izzit trying to talk to u every time?and it doesn’t help that you are ignoring me!!being friends??!!bullshit!!i’m damm sick and tired trying to talk to a wall lah!!!!!all of sudden he turn back into a wall again?what’s the fucking problem now?you still have something izzit?you think I cannot be a wall izzit?i can also lah..but what’s the point being like that..we still can be friends right?you think very nice izzit that everytime u talk to someone and he doesn’t give any response..you feel like a total idiot standing there..that’s me lah..an idiot..can even throw away all my pride..hahahaha…embarrassing myself only..it’s painful enough already trying to talk to you but congrats to you for just deepening the cut on my wound by ignoring me..still I will continue to try to talk to him..hahaha..stupid man…I know..even planning to still sms him on festive season like Christmas,new year…etc…although I know no reply but still…friends what..i wish everyone anyway on festive season.…I really want to see him but then again I don't want to see him if he act like a wall..but actually no matter how even if he act like a wall also..I still want to see him..even though it hurts..damm!no mood to play anything after seeing him like a wall yesterday..even soul calibur..what's the point..just to get nearer to him in a way?what's the use if he act like that..don't you know I don't even want to hit your account...hahaha..and you always give me more loses only if your account appear..for no reason my account yesterday added don't know how many losses again cause his fucking account appear dunno how many times..now more than 200 losses d...thanx to the wall lah..hahaa..but no matter how I will still work on it to get nearer to him..hahaha..i'm an idiot...hahaha...I need my college life back..at least I won’t have so much time to think about him..damm man..the whole day sad like hell..no mood to do anything..not even my fav things..can you believe that I actually lose interest in comp games?comics?watching tv?drawing?story?every single thing…I lose interest in every single thing..even money maybe…hahaha..i don’t want to do anything..don’t want to go out….and I can’t stop the fucking tears from flowing..and the best part is u know what?i have to act perfectly fine in front of my family…damm..i can’t go on like this lah..sick and tired of acting perfectly fine in front of everyone…hahahaha..well maybe certain times I’m really fine...dunno…hahhahaha…I need a shoulder but I can’t find one..hahaha.. u think people want to listen to ur fucking problem everytime izzit…what’s the point anyway?people will also fed up with you right?why worry them anyway?and why trouble them?seelah…not like I never try talking…but end up?end up..u know what…I have to worry back about her getting cheated …hahahha..isn’t that funny?and the others?hahaha….well..what can they do anyway…all are not here anyway when I need a hug..hahahaha…fuck them all…..i just realize I’m a damm lonely person…yeah….hahahah…don’t know how long can I last…anyway…maybe I really go mad one day soon….. at least I’m still functioning..I’m not making any sense anyway….well.i’ll be ok the next day..feel like doing something crazy now…i mean not killing myself lah…but just doing something stupid and crazy…like screaming in public..or in the cinema??dancing on the road?or just running across a busy road and nearly gotten myself kill..(definitely not the "normal" thing I will do..i scared of crossing busy roads) hahaha…hahaha..well I dunno..whenever I feel like that…i just feel like doing something stupid..hey at least it’s fun…but surely later regret….i think I need some stupid fun lah…maybe I’m not thinking properly..that’s why feel like doing something stupid…what am talking anyway…not making any sense..trying not to scroll back up to read what I’ve written..surely regret….because I know I surely write a lot of crap here..that’s y I try not to read what I write everytime…hahahaha..cause I know I will surely delete the whole thing…..what am I talking now anyway?not making any sense…I don’t want to sleep....can u believe it I have phobia of sleeping because of that idiot?damm…………………….anyway..i have started back writing my real diary..i mean those hand written kind one no this typing kind one..what am I saying anyway?just fuck it lah……. A fucked up person today A fucked up person tomorrow Because of a fucker Who is only fucked up towards me Is he really worth the fucking trouble? A fucker Who is not everything That, I know But then, am I just another fucker Because of missing that fucker Who I knew is not a real fucker But only a fucker towards me Maybe because to him, I’m a fucker? And to me, he’s a fucker So that’s make us both a fucker Hahahaha.. I’m not making any fucking sense So just fuck it…
takeMEbytheHAND.
Enigma
天子心
I was born under the smallest astrological sign 24 yrs ago
used to be a psychology student
but now a self-proclaimed full time slacker
on a soul searching journey..
but end up finding my soulmate instead, love being with YOU :)
takeMEsomewhereNEW.
::A dreamer::
::An adventurer::
::A traveller::
::A slacker::
::A party gal,once in a blue moon::
::A game freak::
::Slacker workaholic::
::Anime & manga enthusiast::
::Queen of lateness::
::Night owl::
::Psychometric nerd::
::I'm still finding my way :)::
HANDinHAND.
#1Want ::Get an iphone::
#2Want ::Nintendo Wii::
#3Want ::Go to Japan::
#4Want ::Learn skiing::
#5Want ::Complete my bungy jump attempt::
#6Want ::Get Scuba Diving license::
#7Want ::Invest in an underwater camera::
#8Want ::Get solo skydiving license::
#9Want ::Climb a mountain::
#10Want ::Gain my doctorate::
#1Wish ::Travel/Backpack around the world::
#2Wish ::Pursue my dream & achieve the highest::
#3Wish ::Master as many languages in this world as possible ::
#4Wish ::Study all about the myths of Egypt,Rome and Greek culture::
#5Wish ::Wanna be a millionaire $_$ *quite impossible*::
#6Wish ::To volunteer frontline @ africa or some war-torn country::
